SR FF continued from Part 26

Part 26

Here Siddhant was on his way to Mumbai. He was extremely tired by now due to lack of sleep. Also he would need to talk to the doctor who was handling the case hence he decided to take some rest before going to the hospital. He did not want to go to the place where he had lots of memories. So he called few hotels to make a reservation but the answer was negative.

Sid: Mumbai mein hotel booking ka kuch problem hai kya...........kya tum koi hotel suggest kar sakte ho

Driver: Ji Sir, actually Mumbai mein ek film festival hai uski wajah se almost saare hotels booked hai. Uss din meine ek phirang ko airport se pickup kiya tha...........unke pass pehle se booking tha lekin unke saath jo dost aya tha unko bohoot doondh ne ke baad bhi room nahi mila.

Sid now was getting really frustrated. Firstly he had to leave Rohan alone that too to attend a case in Sanjeevani which was one of the most undesirable places on the face of this earth for him. To add to it he had not been able to sleep and now no hotel booking. He thought for a while and then finally came to the conclusion that he had no other option than going his house in Mumbai.

He called the caretaker and asked him to leave the key with the watchman from whom he could pick up the same.

Here in Mumbai, Juhi and Riddhima reached Juhi's home. During the whole journey both did not speak. Once inside Juhi and Riddhima freshened up and fixed dinner for both of them.

They sat down to eat dinner. Juhi sensed that Riddhima does not want to talk further. Hence, decided to talk about work. She tried striking a conversation but Riddhima was not herself. On other occasions, if anyone spoke about work she was very enthusiastic. Work was her lifeline more like it. Her top most priority in life. It gave her much happiness. But sometimes it felt like she was using it as an excuse to stay away from home.

They finished dinner and while clearing the table Juhi finally decided to confront Riddhima. Take Riddhima unawares. Tum yeh pooja kyu avoid karna chahati hoo...........Ab yeh mat kehna ki tum bhagwaan mein believe nahi karti.......

Riddhima: saach bolu ...........her voice shaking and tears started brimming in her eyes........mein karti thi ..............At one point of time mein har ek rasam, pooja, festival mein believe karti thi............. but certain events in my life have forced me to changed my thoughts............

Juhi: Riddhima meri taraf dekho ...................... Riddhima looked up at her................ she was fidgeting with the table wipe nervous waitin what was coming her way...........she was feeling extremely vunerable as Juhi today was breaking every barrier or facade that Riddhima had created over these years.

Juhi: Kyu jhoot bol rahi hoo...........kya mein nahi jaanti ki tum aaj Moorti ke samne khade ho kar kya kar rahi thi

Riddhima just looked down and just nodded.

Juhi: Don't be ashamed of accepting your feeling and the worst you will do if you deny them.

Riddhima looked up amazed at the advice being given at her.


Part 27

Both Juhi and Riddhima were settling down to call it a day. When Juhi received a call to inform that the doctor who was to come for Poorva treatment would be in next morning. She checked with Mr Shah if any arrangement for stay were required to be made to which said it was not required. She finished the call and informed Riddhima about the same.
Riddhima hearing this looked relieved that finally things were moving for the new patient. Riddhima always had a very humane approach towards her patients. One of the qualities that Juhi liked the most apart from her fierce dedication towards ensuring every person around who can be help would be helped.

They both settled down in bed. Juhi was a widow. She lived in a small 1 BHK flat in Mumbai and had a modest lifestyle. Inspite of facing hardships she had a zest to live life to the fullest. She used to laugh joke around to the extent that at times Riddhima would get very upset with her casual approach. But yes she was a good doctor. 

Juhi: Ek baat poocho tumhe.....

Riddhima again started getting uneasy. Juhi was busy setting the alarm hence did not notice it.

Riddhima: Haan pooch..............

Juhi: How come you mistook Sid's presence for your husbands?

Riddhima: Somewhere I knew that he will not come here. Hence, I thought it was not Sid.

Juhi: But he is also not in town................woh tumhe maloom tha...................

Riddhima did not know how to answer this question ...............Woh .............actually woh ane wala tha  isliye............

Juhi: but not until this morning...........woh kal raat ko nahi ane wala tha..........

Riddhima know was really uncomfortable ...........Nervousness was clearly seen in her eyes........

Riddhima: actually i thought he would be in early .............but later he called to say he is not.................

Juhi: But you were not sure............ cause in the morning also .......... I felt you looked uncertain..........Doesn't it bother you that he is in town and still not wanting to meet you ................
Riddhima: Yes ............... it does it will of course I am his wife..............shouldn't a wife be bothered that her husband is in town .............

Juhi: Her husband is in town after many days the wife is not at home ..........he does not call his wife and the wife is wondering if he is there or not .................and even if ...........Juhi left the remaining unsaid............

Riddhima started flustering again..........of course it bother me .................

Juhi: but then .................???

Riddhima knew what Juhi was referring to referring to the conversation in the morning. Riddhima in her nervous vunerable state had confessed to something which she should not have..............

Riddhima trying to justify her morning statement Its nice to have space Juhi ...............

Juhi: so much space that .............???? It did  not bother you that he may be home or somewhere else with ..............

Riddhima breaking down once again ...............Nahi Juhi ..............aisa nahi hai..............

Juhi taking Riddhima hand in hers .................. aisa nahi hai toh kaisa hai................aren't you least bit bothered ..........that he may be with someone...................don't deny your feelings Riddhima.................

Riddhima: Nahi farak padta.................. kabhi kabhi

Juhi not letting Riddhima complete her statement ............ab aise mat kehna ki jo tum usse de nahi sakti woh usse koi aur de rahi hai ussi mein tum kush ho .........woh kush hai toh tum kush ho................. accept it Riddhima............tumhe basically kabhi farak nahi pada ............
Woh tumhare liye lakh possessive ho ........lekin tumhe koi farak nahi padta...............

Riddhima broke down crying once again .............. Actually Juhi you know what nahi padta mujhe farak ki woh hai yaha ya nahi .............woh kya kar raha hai ..............
Juhi: Par portray toh tum aur hi karti hoo .............sab ke samne .............Achi actress ho tum scarcastically taunting Riddhima................

Riddhima looked up in anger and withdrew her hand from Juhi's hold..............How could she say that ............??? This lady calls herself my friend and is accusing me of this............

Juhi noticed this and quickly started making amends .............Sorry ...............i did not mean to accuse you but see what I am trying to say is ........(thinking for a moment) .............. tumhe kabhi ek kutte ko dekha hai ............uska master usse kehta hai Sit toh he sits down He says Fetch  toh he goes and fetches..............What I am saying is you have trained yourself such..............Your set notions ..............

Riddhima: aisa nahi hai..............

Juhi: aisa nahi hai toh kaisa hai ..............I have seen you with him and you are not the same when you are at the hospital or .............when you are not in his presence.............you are not the same .........you have built a facade and not many can see through it ................

I have great vision ...........chasma nahi pehti na isliye ........i saw through it .......laughing at her own untimely joke............But Riddhima was not at all amused..........But somewhere deep down she knew it was true ..............apart from Juhi even Padma had once questioned her on this.................

Juhi: Jokes apart ............why are you doing this...............you can't train yourself to be happy.

Riddhima got up and went to the widow and started looking out. Juhi waited for Riddhima to break her silence

Riddhima: Uss waqt meri zindagi ek mazaak ban gayi thi Tang aa gayi thi mein armaan ki harkato se I felt like I was ganged up upon to accept my feelings for armaan. Sab ko lagta tha ki mere aur Sid ke beech jo issi ke wajah se hua.....................

Juhi: but wasn't that true.............. you loved armaan???

Riddhima: Yes ...........I loved him ...............images were forming in Riddhima's mind when she was talking 'Tumhe kya lagta hai mera tumhare kareeb ana yeh pyaar hai mera tumhare liye'..........She continued ......but somewhere i was not able to connect...........haan woh jo kuch karta tha uska farak padta tha mujhe par lekin mein khud ko nahin dekh paa rahi thi...........her thoughts trailed............'Meine soocha tha ki mein tumhari zindagi se hamesha ke liye chali jaoingi Par tumhi mujhe chod ke chale gaye'  Sab log chahte the ki mein armaan ko accept kar lo because of the relationship we had and they felt that he would be the right person for me. Despite of being divorced he was ready to accept me.

Juhi hearing laughed sarcastically 'what a joke'

Riddhima continued 'Meine sab ko bahoot hurt kiya tha ........... itna kuch ho chukka tha aur mein nahi chahati thi ki mere zindagi aur mere family ka aur mazzak bane ........Socha ki armaan mujh se pyaar karta hai aur apnana chahata tha .............. haan mein pyar karti thi armaan se aur socha ki agar woh mera saath de toh shayad sab kuch theek ho jayega..............issi liye meine usse finally propose kiya
Random images once again forming in her mind 'I love you armaan' 'Kya tum mera saath donge zindagi bhar' 

Finally the update is up as you see .........super long so please bear with me ......
Have questions please ask
The dialogues which are in italic are used to portray the characters thoughts actions reactions. All the dialogues I have written in italic are directly from the serial and  I have relied completely on my memory for Riddhima and Sid's dialogues So they  may are not match perfectly word to word But the essence and meaning is the same There is NO possibility that it has changed . Reference to context if you check any of the episode for the dialogues I would also say please pay minute attention to the actor's expression Much emphasis is given to that also I remember that by memory also. As for others dialogues I have watched the episodes again to match them accurately. If there are issues with them then it is nothing but a typo error.

I have used the dialogues to show the memory instead of describing the scenes and events
There are certain dialogues and events which have been specifically omitted they shall be dealt with later in the FF as and when the situation comes up But all shall be dealt

Please check the episodes once again any discrepancy before raising a concern.Like previous updates i have not highlighted the dialogues in a different color. There are too many and I am pressed for time.
Enjoy reading if you can (its a super long update and it pertains to Riddhima) and please leave your thoughts on this update particularly .............

I would love to hear your feedback / constructive criticism
Last but not the least ..........Do not rapid read please

Part 28

Juhi: Connect kar kyu nahi paa rahi thi ...............shaayad Sid ke wajah se......?

Riddhima: Sid!!!!............her voice trailed. Images had started forming in her mind..............How Sid always stood by her, shielding, saving her, her and her family reputation, helping her at stage.

Juhi: Lekin tumhe toh Sid se ..........???

Meri Sid se shaadi ek shamjhuata thi............ 'Yeh shaadi ka natak karna band karo'..............Lekin Sid ko hamesha aise laga ki hamari shaadi mere liye ek naatak tha ................

Riddhima reminiscing the old days. She not being able to see Sid in pain 'Mein aisa nahi tha .....jaane anjane tumne mujhe aisa bana diya hai'. 'Tumhara dil tumhari atma nahi hai yaha par' Her attempts to reconcile.............'Jo galat kiya hai usse sahi karna chahati hoon............. 'Kuch hi dinome mein apko jaanane lagi hoon Siddhant pata nahi kaise par aapke maan mein kya chal raha hai apke bole bina samaj jaati hoon'........her mind was recollecting the time when she was first felt pulled towards Sid on her first honeymoon. The strange pain she felt when Sid had been to see a girl for marriage 'Agar mein apna farz nibha sakti toh aaj mere pati yaha ladki dekhne nahi aate'
Their attempts to make a fresh start 'Yeh rishta hi meri sachai hai Ab tumhi meri sachai ho' 'Koi mane ya na mane Riddhima hamare beech mein ek rishta toh hai' 'Mein tumhe pasand karne laga hoon Riddhima aur aisa pehla kabhi nahi feel kiya aur agar tumne bhi kabhi aisa feel kiya toh aaj iss ghar ki dehleez par karke nahi jaogi' 'Sid bahoot ache hai Par kya mein Sid se pyar karti hoon .........Nahi!!!!!........Par shaayad mein unse pyaar kar baitoon'

Juhi: Riddhima!!!

Riddhima snapped out her thoughts .......... Hamara rishta hamesha muskilo se ghira raha .....
'armaan ko Poona kisne bheja ............Mujhe laga tha hamare beech sirf sachaai hai koi jhoot nahi'
Images trailing her mind..............'Chutkara chahate ho na mujhse ............' 'Meine divorce papers sign kar diye hai jaa kar court mein file kar do' 'Divorce papers tumne bheje the meine nahi ........par divorce papers bhejne ke liye tumne mujhe majboor kiya tha' 'Ab mera yaha rehne ka koi fayada nahi kyuki tumpe toh mera koi haq nahi...........Raho apne haqdar ke pas' Tears started forming in Riddhima's eyes. The pain was becoming more and more evident.
Lekin har baar ek nayi koshish karte sab kuch theek karne ka ..............'Aisaan nahi kar rahi hoon sirf apna farz nibha rahi hoon........... Patni hone ka farz aur iss farz ke naate mein tumhe akela kahin jaane nahi doongi Tum jahan bhi jaoge mein tumhare saath jaoongi'  'Tum kyu hamare rishte ko inh kaagaz ka mohataz bana rahe hoo' 'Galat!!!!.............. agar aisa hota toh mein aaj yaha nahi hoti' 'Ek patni ka har farz mein poore dil se nabhaoingi mein Aaj mein Riddhima Modi aaj wada karti hoon ki mein iss risthe ko khushiyon se jagmaga dongi.'
Par shaayad hum iss shaadi mein ho kar bhi nahi the........... 'Jhoot kaisa jhoot Sid tumhe yeh hamari shaadi jhoot lagti hai' 'Akele hi toh koshish karta aya hoon' 'Kya tumhe nahi lagta hamare beech koi rishta hai................Nahi!!!!!'
Riddhima snapped out of her thoughts 'Sid ki aur meri har ek koshish nakaam hoti gayi. Jab bhi hum age padne ki koshish karte hamesha kuch na kuch aisa hota jisse hum do kadaam peeche chale jaate............ Par kismat hame har baar ek doosre ke samne khada kar deti'

'Lekin uss raat jab Sid ne mujhe bachaya .................pehli bar hume aise laga ki sab kuch theek ho sakta hai.................'

Images were flooding her mind ........'Kal ki tarah hame apne rishte ko dheere age bhadana chahiye.....theekh keh rahi hoon na mein' 'Apne life ka naya saal mein tumhare saath shuru karna chahati hoon .............Sirf tumhare saath............' 'Meine tumhe tumhare kal aur aaj ke saath accept kiya hai' 'Chahe kuch bhi ho jaye Riddhima mein tumse bahoot pyaar karoonga' 'Mein bahoot lucky hoon ki meri shaadi tumse ho rahi hai..........Lucky mein hoon Sid ki meri shaadi tumhare saath ho rahi hai' 'Hamesha yehi teen shabd bol kar mujhe ehsaas dilate rahana ki tum hamesha hamesha mere saath rahoge' A pleasant smile played on her lips. Juhi was not sure as to how to interprete this change of emotions on Riddhima face. She quickly brushed her thoughts aside and focused on what Riddhima has to say.

Riddhima: hum hamari zindagi ki ek nayi suruvaat karne wale the...............Lekin........... Uss raat kuch aisa hua jisse meine apne aap ko wapis wahi kadha paya ......'

'Yeh kya ho raha hai mujhe Mein Siddhant ke kareeb mein aisa soch bhi kyu rahi hoon kya Sid ke nasdeek aane se mujhe farak pad raha hai Kya mujhe Sid se........... aisa nahi ho sakta aisa nahi ho sakta jab kuch aisa hai hi nahi........... mein Sid ke baare mein soch rahi hoon kyuki Sid ek bahoot acha insaan hai aur ab woh mere pati hai ................ Siddhant ne hamesha meri madat ki mujhe sahara diya aur ab mein unki patni hoon shayad isliye mein itna kuch sooch rahi hoon aur isse jyada kuch nahi hai hamare beech kuch bhi nahi hai .....'

Juhi: kya hua tha Riddhima?
Riddhima: Uss raat meine woh galti ki........' and her thoughts trailed ..............images of armaan ........talking to her and closing in on her ... '

Now Juhi was completely suspicious that there was more to Sid and Riddhima's story than she had told her and what it seemed? Juhi was always given the impression that Sid left because Riddhima loved armaan and he did not want to come inbetween their love. Juhi again called her  to bring her out of her thoughts.................Riddhima looked quite shaken she looked at Juhi and it suddenly dawned upon her what she was about to disclose; something that till date no one knew except Sid armaan and herself. Nervous as to how to change topic she started flustering. Juhi immediately realized what Riddhima was up to.

Juhi: kya hua ...........kya kiya tune .......... ???? Her eyes narrowing .......closely observing Riddhima expressions............kya kiya tumne Riddhima..........???? Riddhima was still quiet with head down nervously looking at the floor trying to think up of something. Juhi's suspicion was now getting affirmed by Riddhima's silence that indeed there was something major that changed the course of her life. Juhi knew there is no point coaxing Riddhima to talk She had to provoke her. By now she knew that Sid was indeed her soft spot atleast since yesterday so might as well use his name.

Ignoring Riddhima's statement about having made a mistake Juhi asked 'Was Sid involved with someone. Did Sid sleep........ Before she could complete her statement Riddhima screamed back at Juhi Nahi!!!!" Sid kabhi bhi kuch galat nahi kar sakta. Woh mein thi ..............Riddhima realised that first time in 10 years she had confessed this truth to anybody. She could not handle the guilt and broke down crying.

Provoking Riddhima with with such a wild accusation definitely payed off just the way she wanted. But what she heard shocked her ................ Juhi: Riddhima how could you?
Knowing her and Riddhima's past  Juhi questioned So it was you and armaan?
Riddhima looked up to meet Juhi's eyes for a second and looked away.
Juhi jerked her hand free from Riddhima's hand in disgust: So my guess was right?
Riddhima: Nahi Juhi .......I did not .............
Juhi: what you did not ........if you did not then what happened .............actually forget it really doesn't make a difference.
Once again, Riddhima broke down crying No Juhi ......it was .........
Juhi was feeling quite disgusted with what she had heard She knew about Riddhima's life in parts and Riddhima had mentioned to her that her past caused a lot of turbulence in her married life with Sid. But she never really got to know what happened but today when she came to know about it she was finding it difficult to handle this new peice of information thrown at her.
Sid had clouded Riddhima's mind. In the morning conversation Riddhima was quick to lash out if anything that went against Sid. From all that Juhi knew about Riddham she could not understand how come after so many years also Riddhima was so intuitive about Sid. Riddhima always maintained that she loved armaan. Because of the nightmare Riddhima was planning to meet Sid She said she just wanted to check if he is alright. Looking at Riddhima's regret ridden face and knowing her vunerable condition; it seemed it is important that she flushes out her memories and gets her thinking straight or else she was definitely heading towards disaster.
Though Juhi was in no mood of taking this conversation further she cooled herself down 'Riddhima what happened ...............?

Riddhima crying bitterly disclosed ' uss raat meri attit ki yadoon ne mujhe ek pal ke liye kamzor banadiya ........aur meine khud ko wahi kadha paya jaha mein nau mahine pehle thi............

Juhi: Riddhima!!!..................so kya hua? Tumne kehne ka kya matlab tha ki tumne aap ko wapis wahi kadha paya

Riddhima: Sid ke saath meri shaadi hui thi ........

Juhi felt that Riddhima was another trip altogether but lets give her time to speak out mind for once.

Riddhima: Uss raat meine socha tha ki mein apne shaadi ko poori sachai ke saath apnaongi Nahi rokne wali thi mein hum dono ko kareeb aane se.

Riddhima's every word was hammering Juhi with a new surprise. Her mind was trying to digest 'Sid and Riddhima never shared a marital relationship!!!' As the conversation progressed Juhi could not help but be in awe of this person who was Riddhima's husband and moreover Riddhima........both for different reasons though.

Here Riddhima's mind had images of that night racing.......... 'Shaadi hui hai Sid se meri pati hai woh mera Poora haq hai uska mujhe par mere pyaar par mere dil dimag mere shareer' 'Mein tumhe upset nahi karna chahati Ek patni hone ka mein poora farz nibhana chahati hoon'

Riddhima: Lekin nahi kar paayi............uss ek kamzor pal ne mujhe wapis wahi pe khada kar diya
Juhi was getting impatient but so decided to start quizzing Riddhima fearing that either Riddhima may loose track or if God forbid assumes a defensive mode then yet again may head for disaster.

Juhi asked to guide her back to the point : kaha Riddhima?

Riddhima:armaan se mein bahoot pyar karti thi aur hamari magni honewali thi ................poora haq samajti thi mein uska kud par mere dil dimag mere sharer par.....................par Sid ke saath meri pehli shaadi ke baad woh kareebi mein handle nahi kar payi ..............nahi samaj aa raha tha ki mein kaise uske kareeb khichi chali jaa rahi thi .......nahi samaj aa raha tha ki kya uske mere kareeb aane se mujhe farak pad raha tha........... jab ki hamare beech pyar hi nahi tha .............mein armaan ke alava kaise ki aur ke baare meh soch sakti thi kaise kisi ko apne dil dimaag apni saaso pe haq de sakti thi...........mujhe toh sirf armaan se pyar tha.............
aur uss raat jab uss ek kamzor lamhe ne mujhe aur armaan ko kareeb laya tab meine khud ko nau mahine pehle kada paya ......................mein Sid ki kareebi nahi handle kar paa rahi thi..........nahi samaj aa raha tha ki kaise Sid ke saath bitaye hua palome meine kabhi waisa hi feel kiya jaise mein armaan ke liye kiya karti thi ek waqt aur uss raat bhi

Juhi: Toh kya Sid tumhe force kar raha tha..........though nau mahine ho gaye the .........uska force karna expected tha though not right but still............

Riddhima: Nahi Juhi ............. Sid ne kabhi apne aap ko mujhe par force nahi kiya ..............hamesha woh bahoot understanding raha tha ........meri taraf, meri feeling ki taraf............mere aur armaan ke rishte ko le kar bhi............after a long time a faint smile was there on Riddhima's face an assuarance that yes indeed she felt secure

Uss raat bhi ek aur baar Sid ne mujhe yakeen dilaya tha ki woh mujhese kuch expect nahi karta ...............jab meine usko bataya ki mein nahi kar paa rahi hoon ........ek patni ka farz nahi nibha paa rahi thi........par mere dimaag mein sirf wohi ek baat ghoom rahi thi

armaan ne sahi kaha tha ............har waqt mein uske baare mein soch rahi thi ...........itna ki ek waqt par Sid ko bahoot neglected feel hua tha.........par uss raat ke baad ..............uss lamho ki yaadein aur woh ehsaas nahi bhula paa rahi thi ...........reh reh ke woh mere aankhon ke samne aa rahi tha.........

Juhi: But kaise feel kiya tha...........achaa bura ..................

Riddhima: Wohi toh Juhi nahi samaj aa raha tha ki mein achaa feel kar rahi thi ya bura ..........Sid ko meine bataya ..........

Juhi astonished whether she told Sid about the whole incident : Kya !!! kya bataya ...........

Riddhima: ki mein nahi janti kaise mehsoos kar rahi hoon .............par har waqt ki tarah usne mujhe samjha ...........uska waha hona hi shaayad kaafi tha .............darr lag raha tha ki agar mein Sid ko armaan ke baare mein baata deti toh hamari duniya bikhar jaati..........
Juhi now really could not make sense..............'Did this marriage really matter to her or is it armaan and her relationship? This question was hounding her mind.
Juhi: tumhari aur ............. ????

Riddhima: Sid ki ..................Sid ki zindagi mujhe pe shuru hoti thi aur mujhe pe khatam ...........aankh band kar ke vishwas karta tha mujh par .............

Juhi: Kya tumhne Sid ko uss raat ke baare mein bataya..........?

Riddhima: Images started flooding her mind once again 'Tum sirf meri ho.......' 'accept karo ki tumhare dil mein saaso mein sirf mein hoon' ............ 'kyu nahi aane diya tha Sid ko apne kareeb ...........pati hone ke bawajood ............' 'Tum Sid ki kabhi ho hi nahi sakti kyuki tum Sid ki thi hi nahi' 'Kaise hogi tumhari zindagi tumhara pati koi aur aur tum pyaar kisi aur se karti hoo Riddhima tum aur kisi ke saath par sochti mere baare mein rahogi'

armaan chahata ki mein accept karu ki mein tabhi usse pyar karti thi..............Uska woh sawal ki kyu nahi aane diya meine Sid ko apne kareeb majboor kar raha tha ki kya rishta tha Sid se mera ........woh mera pati tha lekin mera dil kisi aur ko chahata tha ............kya yeh baat thi ............. armaan ne bhi wohi sawaal kiya tha ki kaisi shaadi thi meri

jab armaan ne mujhe damki ki mein agar accept nahi karo ki mein sirf uski hoon toh woh mujhse woh sab accept karvayega Tab mujhe kyu daar laga ki Sid pe kya bitegi Mujhe kabhi maaf nahi karage woh Yeh baat mujhe kyu saab se jyada dard de rahi thi........ kyu mujhe yeh khayal zyada saata raha tha ..............?????kyu???

Juhi could not believe how messed up this lady's thoughts were at the moment also. She was all over the place. If this is the case now what must have been he situation then 10 years back when all this happened. All she could do is just pity Riddhima and her condition then and now.

Juhi's last question was still unanswered ........... but Riddhima was on another track altogether again .........no point bringing her back ............... sooner or later she will answer that question or she could always ask it again or maybe she did tell him or he realized it that's why Sid divorced Riddhima She just made a mental note of it and threw same question at Riddhima with which she had gotten Riddhima to disclose things uptil now hoping she would answer at least this time round............ 'that means tumhe Sid se pyaar nahi tha?

Riddhima:  armaan mujhe do baar chod kar chala gaya tha ek baar bhi mud kar nahi dekha usne hamesha wohi kiya jo usse chahiye tha.............

Juhi was now completely tired of listening about armaan...........She never somehow liked this person but after hearing what all had happened ........... she could not tolerate that person any more even if he was her friend's husband. She wanted to cut Riddhima off but thankfully she seemed to be back on track that is Sid ......

Sid ne mera uss waqt haath thama jab mein bilkul toot chuki thi kab woh meri zindagi ka hissa ban gaya pata hi nahi chala Her thoughts were drifting again 'dheere dheere woh hamari zindagi ka hissa ban jaate hai woh lade ya jhagade uss insaan ke liye hum kuch bhi sehne ko tayar ho jaate hai'
Sid ne mujhe Sahara Pyar aur Hosla diya ...........bahoot mehfoos mensoos karti thi uske saath.........Sid bahoot hi saacha saaf dil ka tha........... usne hamesha meri khushi chahi ..... chahe woh kushi kisi aur ke saath bhi kyu na ho ........woh jo bhi karta sirf mere liye karta........ek doosre ke khushi ki parvah thi hame............... 'Jo rishta pyar aur izzat ki buniyaad pe bana hai woh kabhi toot nahi sakta' .... ....kush the hum ek doosre ke saath ..............hamesha ek doosre ki khushi doonte the hum................
Juhi mind was working overtime now trying to decipher what Riddhima was trying to say. From Riddhima description of her relationship with Sid she definitely could conclude that yes they were really really emotionally intimate with each other. But then was it just physical intimacy which became a problem. To understand this she threw another question at Riddhima 'So you never felt anything if at all Sid came close to you or did you never initiate?

Riddhima: 'Aaj Sid ke chune se mujhe kuch hua aisa pehle kabhi nahi hua kisi ke liye siwai armaan' 'Riddhima aaj jab meine tumhe kiss kiya toh it felt wonderful' 'Jab bhi mein tumhe choota hoon tab tumhari dil ki dhakan tez nahi hoti........hoti hai na?' Haan !!! feel karti thi ...........par phir bhi .............'mein jaanta hoon ki tum comfortable nahi ho Riddhima'  mein poori tarah comfortable nahi ho paa rahi thi.

Juhi was analysing what Riddhima had just said. Physical intimacy or Passinate love. I guess she just wanted time to shed her inhibitions. Riddhima did feel both for Sid then why did it break .............maybe Sid could not handle Riddhima's betrayal or maybe he was indeed tired of being in a relationship wherein he was unsure whether he mattered Because yes Riddhima's mind time and again was being clouded by armaan.

Riddhima: Jitna mein uske baare mein sochti utna ulajti jaa rahi thi ...........armaan ko bhulana assan nahi tha........ yeh bhi saach tha ki armaan ki yaadein thi mere dil mein ........par kya nahi ho sakti...............bahoot kareeb the ek waqt hum............ek waqt par armaan aur mein poori zindagi bitana chahate the ek saath ...........Par Sid ne mujhe iss sab ke saath accept kiya tha..... ........armaan meri zindagi ka woh hissa tha jisse mein chaha kar bhi alag nahi kar sakti thi ...... Mein har waqt uske baare sochti ...........usse kuch ho gaya toh bura lagta i really did care for him then..........uske hone na hone se farak padta tha  .....samaj mein nahi aa raha tha ki kya tha pyar......... uss din meine armaan se wohi sawaal poocha tha .........Lekin uss sawal ka jawab muhje uss raat mila jab woh hadsa hua ................Sid patients aur doctors ko bachane jaane wala tha ............... Sid ko kuch ho na jaye uss khayal ne mujhe poori tarah hila diya ...............
'recalling the anxiety she suffered when she could not see Sid during the wedding arrangements...... Riddhima tumhare aankh mein aansoo .......nahi kuch nahi Sid' The terrible feeling that if something did happen to Sid then what............... 'Yeh kya karne jaa rahe the tum ............tum andhar nahi jaa sakte agar kisi ko andhar jaana hai toh mein jaoingi'
Bardaast nahi kar payi ..............
Jaise armaan ko kuch hote huye nahi dekh sakti thi waise hi Sid ko mein kho nahi sakti thi .............Toh phir kya Sid ke liye mehsoos kiya woh pyar nahi tha......... kya pyar ka matlab doosre pe haq jatana hota hai jaise armaan ne kiya uss raat ko ...................nahi .............. Sid aur mere beech jo kuch bhi tha usse sirf hum mehsoos kar sakta the............woh mere liye sab se jyada important tha ............. yeh pyar hi toh tha jo reh reh ke hamesha Sid ke pass le jaata tha.............
Juhi: Toh kya Sid ko saach batane ke baad usne tum divorce kiya?

Riddhima: Meine Sid ko uss raat ki saari saachai pata di thi uss hadse se pehle............sab kuch jaanane ke bawajood woh mujhe accept kar raha tha............ I really could not handle it ......... koi insaan itna achaa kaise ho sakta hai .........aur meine uske ke saath yeh kya kar diya tha ...........woh mujhe bina kisi sart ke pyar karta tha ...........mein seriously iss pyar ke layak nahi thi ............

Juhi: So then why did the divorce happen?

Riddhima: Usse laga ki mein armaan se abhi bhi pyar karti thi aur uske liye mere dil mein koyi feelings nahi thi isliye usne meri khushi ke liye jaane ka faisla kiya ............usse laga ki meri khushi armaan ke saath hi thi

Juhi: Par roka kyu nahi ...............?

Riddhima: Pehle soch rahi thi ke mein uski zindagi se chali jaoingi ............laga ki shayad woh mere bina kush rahega ...........bahoot dukh de chuki thi mein usse ..............nahi deserve karti thi mein usse aur uske pyar ko .........Lekin woh hi mujhe chod ke chala gaya ............Par phir mujhe gussa aya  iss baat par ki kaise usse laga ki mein armaan ke saath khush reh sakti hoon .........pehle bhi usne apne aap ko mujhse door raka yeh soch kar ki meri khushi armaan ke saath hai ............shayaad pehle se woh yeh na karto to shayaad uss raat jo hua mere aur armaan ke beech shayaad nahi hota.......... 'chod kar tum gaye mujhe toh ab mujhe armaan ke saath rahana hai ki nahi yeh tum mujhe mat batao.' Kaise soch liya ki mein armaan ke saath kush reh sakti thi usse dukh pohocha kar.

Juhi was amazed at the arrogance of this lady. But maybe she was right Sid did matter to her this marriage was really important hence maybe she could not handle the thought that Sid was leaving

Juhi: But then why did you marry armaan? ......Sorry you did tell me ...........but really ............why ?

Riddhima: Meri duniya un kuch dino mein bahoot badal gayi thi................ door rahena chahati sab se.............par armaan ab bhi chahata tha ki mein usse accept kar lo .............. 'Tak chukka hu mein tumhe yeh samjhate ki hum ek doosre ko paane ke liye bane hai' 'Tum jaante bhi ho tum kya keh raha ho..........'  I was out of an unsuccessful relationship
Uska mujhe pane ka junoon dekha tha........... 'Tum sirf meri ho aur agar yeh tumne accept nahi kiya toh mein tumse woh accept karvaonga'...................jaan bhi de sakta tha woh...............recollecting the moment when he felt bad that she choose Sid over him and went into the ICU to save the patients and doctors............. mera yeh sochna galat nahi hota ki agar hum dono saath nahi hue toh woh phir se apni poorani aadato ke pass chala jaata........... kahi na kahi mein khud ko doshi manti thi uske iss halat ke liye meine shaayad usse kabhi age badne nahi diya ..........armaan ne mere liye bahoot kuch saha tha ................ socha ki mein armaan ko chahati thi isliye meine shaadi ke liye usse propose kiya

Juhi: par wapis wohi sawal Riddhima kyu nahi connect kar payi ?

Riddhima: armaan aur mein ........hamara rishta bahoot different tha.........bahoot pyar karte the jab armaan mujhe chod ke chala gaya

Juhi: you mean Sid se shaadi ke pehle?

Riddhima: Haan!!!..........mar jana chahati thi mein................jeena nahi atta tha armaan ke bina.........bahoot tadpe the ek doosre ki yaad mein .............we passionately loved each other. But somehow I could never get myself to trust armaan. armaan mujhe kabhi kuch nahi batata ............agar koi galti ho toh woh hamesha chipane ki koshish karta .............apne maan marzi karna uski aadat thi ........chahe samne wale ko acha lage ya bura............ But he was a different .............Charming armaan ............Hum kuch mahino baad shaadi karne wale the...............armaan ne kabhi bhi sachaai se kuch nahi kiye ............apne wade kab nibhaye ki ab nibhata ............zindagi ek khel thi shayaad one big prank ............har baar woh promise karta aur har baar woh wada todta............ek constant darr tha meri kisi bhi baat se upset ho kar kuch apni aadato se hurt na kar le ............ mein badal chuki thi ............aur yeh armaan nahi samaj paa raha tha ...............bahot kuch ho chukka tha meri zindagi mein ...............mein tehrav chahati thi ...............

Juhi had by now guessed the real reason and just to confirm quickly threw the question to catch Riddhima unawares Jo Sid ne tumhe diya tha???

Riddhima: Haan .............tab jaa ke pehli baar Sid aur mere risthe ko sahi mayino mein samaj payi aur farak kar payi ki kya tha mera aur armaan ka rishta................

Juhi: aur phir bhi tumhe shaadi ki ??

Riddhima: bahoot aage nikal chuki thi .............wapis lauti toh sab hurt hote ...........ek mazaak ban gayi thi mere parivar aur meri zindagi........... bas ab aur nahi ............ Sid hamesha bolta tha kuch bhi karne se pehle apno ke bare sochna chahiye...........socha ...........ek waqt tha jab mein armaan ke saath zindagi bitana chahati thi toh shaayad nibha sakungi iss relationship ko ............

Infact pehli baar ki tarah armaan chahata tha ki sab ache se ho par mere maan nahi tha...............teesri baar shaadi .......Riddhima weakly laughed at the joke which was none other than her life............. jhoot nahi bolungi ............mein yeh khayaal bhi nahi handle kar paa rahi thi ki jo sab rasme meine Sid ke saath Sid ke liye kiye usse mein kissi aur ke saath karo ........... bahoot jhagdo ke baad convince kiya ............ ek simple court marriage ke liye................jhoot bhi bola tha ki mein bhagwan mein ab believe nahi karti ..............isliye court marriage chahati thi..................

Juhi: Shayaad issiliye tum aaj bhi Dr. Riddhima Gupta hoo

Riddhima just looked away ..........Riddhima's silenced had answered Juhi's question.

Juhi: aur ek jhoot ke saath apni zindagi chalu ki?

Riddhima: shayaad .............par meine armaan ko hamesha mera full attention diya ..............though i was never comfortable with him............hamare point of view pehle bhi aur abhi nahi mile.........Hamesha kuch na kuch cheejo se hamare jhade hote the ................. how much ever attention i gave him it was always less............. woh hamesha kuch na kuch karta mera attention seek karne ke liye ..............uska charming attitude ya phir kuch shararat ya phir kuch aur ............uski poorani aadato se mein darti thi woh malum tha .............kabhi kabhi woh bhi .........jaise woh hamesha kehta tha .............'mere pyaar karne ka tarika kuch jyada hi intense ho jaata hai ........mehsoos karna chahata hoon tumhare pyar ko' Par mein saach mein koshish karti thi .......par kabhi kabhi nahi de paati thi usse woh sab jo woh chahata tha............Papa ke health issues ke wajah se woh kum aa rahe the Sanjeevani ..............kaafi saare kaam ka pressure tha lekin ..........armaan was again on another trip always ...........he didn't seem serious enough towards work .................ek theek thak doctor tha ........... but constantly preoccupied with something or the other.........kabhi mein kabhi kuch aur ....... due to his amnesia kafi miss out kiya tha career wise..........and now even more due to his attitude ............ He was quite creative and so ultimately he decided to pursue that ............par woh decision bhi uss waqt aya jab mein apne sab se muskhil duar mein se guzar rahi thi ............Papa had suffered a heart attack and he was almost stopped coming to Sanjeevani ...............I really needed someone to help me out with everything..............itna kuch sambhalna .............aur uski wajay se aur bhi irritation aur conflict ho rahi thi mere aur armaan ke beech ..............But then I just let go ............i knew it was no point...........woh mere saath nahi dega woh maloom hona chahiye tha ...........mein bhi kaam mein masroof hoti gayi ....................aur armaan bhi apne naye adventure mein.........

Juhi: Sid ko miss karti thi na .................

Juhi noticed how Riddhima tone had changed from a scarcastic one to that of regret so quickly

Riddhima: Shayaad ................par hamesha ek muskhil samay mein ............mein yahi sochti ki agar Sid yaha hota toh kya karta ..............sukun mehsoos karti thi...........jaane do ..............Kal jaldi utna hai alarm laga diya kya ............

Juhi just nodded. Riddhima aur armaan passionately loved each other at one point of time but could not emotionally connect ultimately. Riddhima aur Sid emotionally toh pass aa sake lekin kabhi ek doosre ko paa nahi sake. Shaayad kuch aur samay milta unke relationship ko toh par woh ek incident poori tarah se badal di inn teeno ki zindagi. She did not know what happened to Sid but Riddhima she did not exactly survive it as for armaan he seemed to be the root cause. Not worth thinking about him. She just brushed her thoughts aside and to lighten the atmosphere Yahi se tayar ho ke jaana........You can always use my clothes.........Itni moti nahi hoon tumhe aa jayenge

Riddhima smiled faintly and thought how at various stages of her life there were people who alway came by to bail her out..........her thoughts started trailing..............Sid aur Juhi .............kaafi similarities thi un dono mein ..............hamesha understanding rahe hai dono. A faint smile crept on her face and she slowly drifted off to sleep.




Part 29
An exhausted Sid somehow managed to catch some sleep duing the journey back to Mumbai. His car was nearing to the place which used to be his home 10 years back. As the car was nearing the house, he decided against going at. Sid really had no intentions of going back to the home which had memories of his past life, times spent with Riddhima. Yes, she was long gone from his life but yet it was difficult to detach her completely. He felt he is better off not going near anything that had her memories. Anywhich ways he had to go to Sanjeevani, another place which held his memories. Not only Riddhima but many more. Why unnecessarily add to it. He now has a different life a new responsibility his little angel whom he wants to return to so then lets concentrate on finishing his work and leave.

Sid: Gadi Sanjeevani ki taraf le chalo.

Driver: Sir aapko rest nahi leni Aap kal se soye nahi hai theek tarah se. Kal raat bhi aapne travel kiya aur aaj raat bhi. Main toh din mein so liya tha lekin aap toh woh bhi nahi kar paye hai.

Sid: Nahi theek hai abhi todhi neend poori ho gayi hai aur waise bhi agar kaam jaldi khatam ho gaya toh main nikhal jayunga Panchgani ke liye Jitne jaldi ho sake Rohan ke paas jana hai.

Driver: Par saab aap aise kaise jayenge. Rest nahi toh sirf fresh toh ho lijiye Pata nahi kitni der aapko waha lagega kaam khatam karne ko. By this time the driver knew what exactly Sid was here for and felt bad for him that in this moment of grief he had to come down for some work.

Sid thought for a moment and agrees. Soon they reach home.

Sid: Aap ek kaam kijiye ..............aap jaa ke araam kar lijiye main aapko phone karta kab wapis jaana hai. Sanjeevani jaate waqt main taxi le longa.

Standing in front of the door of his apartment he is still contemplating 'This is one place I surely did not want to come back to. Damn hell this film festival if not for it I would be staying in a hotel. He is standing in front of His mind is recollecting all those times spent here. His days of internship, his wild ways, bringing home Riddhima as his bride for the first time ...............Riddhima!!!!................He closed his eyes for a moment took a breath and brushed his thoughts aside. 'I don't need to think about all this Lets just focus on what needs to get done.' He opened the door and set his bags down. Standing in the living room he wondered what should be his next step Bedroom or guest room ...............'Riddhima used to use the bedroom while I used to be in the guest room ................he contemplated.............images of the past again came rushing in ............. 'tum mere kamre mein soo jaana mein guest room mein soo jaata hoon ' ............'  Once again irritated with himself he brushed his thoughts aside and settled into the guestroom and decided to sleep for some time.

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Juhi and Riddhima had gotten ready for the day and were sitting down to have their breakfast. Riddhima seemed a little uneasy Though Juhi had not reacted very negatively; Riddhima was not sure whether she had just done that to make her feel comfortable for the time being in order to make her open up or she has indeed accepted her with her mistake just like Sid did. Though by past history she knew Juhi was never judgemental. But what she had revealed last night was way too drastic. While Juhi was still not sure whether she should broach the topic or not. She had seen Riddhima's vunerable state last night and though now she looked calmer yet she was not sure what Riddhima's real intentions were especially after hearing all that Riddhima had felt for Sid. Finally she decided that its best to talk it out.

Juhi: Tumhe kya lagta hai Sid hoga conference mein?

Riddhima knew where the conversation was heading towards but knew could not escape it. If not to Juhi then to herself she has to answer these questions. 'Shayaad'

Juhi: Aur hua toh?
Riddhima: Pata nahi

Juhi: Kya tum usse milna nahi chahogi.

Riddhima: Pata nahi ............

Juhi: Kyu jhoot bol rahi hoo?

Riddhima:Jhoot nahi bol rahi hoon..................... haan mein chahati hoon ki woh waha ho ...........dekhna chahati hoon ek baar usse ..............kaisa hai theek hai na..............

Juhi: darti hoo na ki kahi uss din ka sapna ..........???

Anxiety took over Riddhima completely. That dream still gave her jitters even though the other night she did feel that danger was averted. Nahi Juhi please ..........please aisa mat kaho Mein sirf ek baar tasalhi karna chahati hoon ki woh theek hai............mein nahi milongi usse............milna bhi nahi chahiye........... aur waise bhi woh age badh gaya hoga ..............Sid hamesha apne aaj mein jeene wala insaan raha hai.............. kyu mein usse woh sab purani baate yaad dilavu ............. usse bahoot dukh diye hai ............ koi haq nahi banata mera un purane zakhmo ko mein taaza karo.............nahi milungi mein usse .........

Juhi: Don't worry ......I hope he is there and you can see him all fine.  Don't worry She smiled reassuringly at Riddhima.

Riddhima was moved by the warmth and understand that this lady displayed towards her. How can someone be so nice? A question she used to always ask herself about Sid.

Since the conference place was on the way to the hospital Juhi decided to drop Riddhima and then make way to the hospital.

Most of the journey they both were quiet. Riddhima did not know what was in store for her that day but then whatever be the case she knew that ultimately she definitely did not have any right to subject Sid to any further trouble. She knew that Sid was one person who always seeked her happiness, and her happiness where was it .............was she happy? The only thing that gave her happiness was her work, her patient's welfare......... Sanjeevani.  Let's just think of that then she thought. Somehow it always distressed her. She turned to Juhi and asked 'So what's the name of the doctor who is going to see the new patient?'
Juhi: You mean Purva?

Riddhima: Hmmmmmm

Juhi: Pata nahi .........itna pata hai ki kaafi skilled doctor hai ............Mr Shah bahoot mante hai uske family ko aur usse it seems............he mentioned he is one of the best surgeons in US.

Riddhima: oh ok.........theek hai ...........unse case discuss kar lena .........mein lunch time mein phone karti hoon jaane ke liye kya decide hua.............in case woh operate karna chahate hai toh kuch formalities complete karni padegi ...........just take care of him till then after all he is our guest till then...

Juhi: don't worry ...........waise bhi we need to be extra careful with him ...........

Riddhima: Why??? Looking all confused

Juhi: Pucca koi bhudhavu hoga ...........itna renowned hai toh todha sanki bhi hoga ................aur upar se vacation pe visit kar raha hai consultation ke liye .......... toh already frustrated hoga...............soch raha hoga kaha phas gaya ..........you know what I mean........... now you understand why I did not bother asking for the name ............. naam jaanke kya fayada ............todhi na mujhe us bhudhavu janam kundli nikalni hai..............

Riddhima: Kuch bhi ? tum na seriously kaha ki baat kaha le jaati ho ..........all amused laughs at Juhi's statements.

Juhi: nahi seriously koi aisa hot handsome sexy cute intelligent renowned aur rich doctor hota toh baat banti........ aur haan young bhi ........this criteria preceeds all the above........

Riddhima: bottomline aisa koi doctor nahi hoga ..............aur aise koi tailormade doctor kabhi bana toh pucca tumhare liye reserve kar denge ..........theek hai and laughs at Juhi's juvenile behaviour

Juhi: chalo mera ek action point mein strike out kar sakti hoon........

Riddhima: Kaunsa ??? Looking all confused once again

Juhi: at least I made you laugh ..............nahi toh Meena Kumari mode se tum bahar nakalti hi nahi .....

Riddhima realised how Juhi had intentionally turned the topic to lighten her mood..........and again went silent.

By the time they had reached the conference place Juhi parked the car and turned to Riddhima .............Hello Madam Main chup rahongi ........conference venue aa gaya .............chalo nikalo ............ mujhe der ho gayi toh woh bhudhavu meri class lega aur phir tum meri .............

Riddhima got out of the car. Thanked Juhi for everything and started walking towards to the venue. Suddenly Juhi called her ........Riddhima ......... Ye Meena Kumari mode leke Sid se mat milna .......... Smile ............

Riddhima smiled back at Juhi and headed towards the conference venue.

Part 30

Sid standing outside Sanjeevani decided there is no point procrastinating. What the point if old friends old memories and Riddhima are there then he could not help it. He has to face them they are just a part of his past gone by. But today what is important is his patient, Rohan who need him.
Keeping a firm control on his emotions he entered that place which had given him so much. He promised himself not to let any emotion cross his mind. He swiftly walked up to the reception and asked for Dr. Juhi. In the morning before leaving he had checked with Mr Shah about the doctor to be consulted and other details.
The receptionist informed that Dr. Juhi had not reported to work as of yet hence he may need to wait for her. Sid sat down on the couch near the reception desk to wait for Juhi. His eyes scanning the surrounding. Much had changed yet the place gave the same vibe which it had given 10 years back. A place where he learnt some valuable lessons of his life, where he once belonged.................'God what am I doing? This is not the time to think of all these things. Its best I move towards the ICU and check with the doctor on duty and take details and check on Purva.' He got up and made way to the ICU.
=============================================================================

Juhi entered the hospital and enquired at the reception about the doctor for Purva. The attendant informed her that the doctor would be found in the waiting area nearby but when she checked she did not find anybody. She came back and asked the attendant
Juhi: Yaha toh koi nahi hai .........anyways .........uss doctor naam kya tha ............

Attendant: Dr. Siddhant Modi ............

Juhi asked playfully: Deekhne mein kaise the..............

Attendant quite amused with Juhi's question but not surprised. She was one of most playful and easy going doctor in Sanjeevani No hang-ups inspite of being a Senior Doctor and being quite proficient in her field. But before she could answer Juhi dismissed the discussion ...........jaane kyu bhudavu ke baare mein time waste kare .............chalo mein chalti hoon .........dekhti hoon .........shayaad ICU mein ho ..........bye ...........acha haan if he comes here again just tell him I will be in the ICU ...........and she headed for the ICU.

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Here at the conference, things were on their way. All the attendees were in and the initial rounds of speeches were happening. Boring as ever such speeches were Riddhima focussing only on scanning the attendees when she noticed Atul sitting at one of the table nearby. She looked at him and nodded to acknowledge his presence but he just gave a brief nod and looked away. Riddhima was not surprised but somehow today it did not seem to bother her mind so much. Her eyes were searching Sid. Never she must have prayed so hard in the last 10 years except other night and today. 'God let Sid be here mein usse sirf usse ek baar dekhna chahati hoon ............I swear I will not try to meet him interfere with his life I uske layak nahi hoon .........kabhi thi hi nahi .............lekin please God please ek baar please please..................

=============================================================================
Juhi reaches the ICU and sees a man dressed in crisp formals with a grim look on his face standing next to Purva's bed checking some of the reports. Quite irritated that inspite of instructing the nurses not to allow anyone in how come this man is there.

She barged into the room and charged her allegations at the man. 'Aap yaha pe kya kar rahe hai ...........ek toh visiting hours nahi hai aur waise bhi we are not allowing anyone in .............who let you come inside........can you please leave immediately?......................

The man stood there stunned looking at this lady who without any knowledge was making allegations at him. Instead of clarifying as to how why and who he was he just decided to go with the last option. In a cold stern voice he introduced himself 'I am Dr. Siddhant Modi' and you are ..........???

'Tum toh bhudhavu nahi ho .............' Juhi absently mindedly blurted as she never expect someone her own age to be Dr. Siddhant Modi But she quickly realized what she had said and started making amends. Nahi actually ...............I never expected ............

But before she could complete the explaination for her obnoxious statement Sid cut her short 'Case ke baare mein discuss kare Meine yaha pade reports toh check kar liye hai but then there are certain details I want which I guess you may be able to give me. You are the one looking after this is it not? Dr. Juhi??? He looked at her questioningly as he definitely did not want to do the same mistake as her.

Juhi: Yes Yes if you are done checking on the patient we can move to my cabin and we can discuss this there.

Sid placed the reports in place and took one last look at Purva. Once assured that all required is done here he turned Juhi and gestured with his hand ' Lead the way.

Juhi was feeling quite embarrassed by what had happened but could not help feeling offended. 'bhudhavu nahi but khadoos zaroor hai ..............explain karne deta toh kya jaata ............ Ye sab US return doctors apne aap ko bata nahi kya samajte hai ............ hoge bade apne yaha .........but we are also good ...........Jabardasti ka jhelna padega.........'

Sid: Dr. Juhi can we go we have a lot to do and we don't have time is you know what I mean ??? the tone of Sid voice communicate he seriously was having his doubts about this lady's seriousness towards work. Sid over the years had changed. Very professional and strict in his dealings. He had trained himself to focus on the priorities at hand and not let any thoughts affect it. But today his mind was wavering He wanted to complete his work and leave to be with Rohan. He knew he was needed here but Rohan also needed him or may be he needed Rohan. He was still trying to come to terms with the all that had happened in the past days.

Juhi snapped out her thoughts........'Shaadu definitely Shaadu' said under her breathe

Sid: hmmmmmmm you said something?

Juhi: No nothing ...........chalein....... and made way to the cabin to discuss further on the case.

Sid had met the Shah family already and assured them that he will do all he can regardless what it requires. He had just experience what it is to loose a family member and did not want to Shah family to suffer the pain. He had to something

Juhi and Sid settled themselves and started working on the case. 
=============================================================================
Riddhima could not concentrate on the conference. Her eyes were still searching for Sid. Her heart was not ready to accept that Sid was not there. 'Kya uss ka sapna........Nahi !!!!!!! .......... She did not to even think on these lines that what if the dream came true..............She had to make sure if Sid was scheduled to be here. 'Let me check the attendees list ......... ' But there also there is no mention of him.............Somehow she was relieved ............'Maybe woh aane hi nahi wala tha ............aur waise bhi woh yana nahi aayega .............kyu ayega ..........kya mila hai yaha pe shivay dukh ke..............shayad woh theek hai woh sapna shayad aise hi aaya hoga............Mat soccho itna Riddhima............She kept the attendees list down and turned to go to the conference hall but landed up bumping into Atul.

Riddhima: Sorry .............oh!!! Atul .....kaise ho ? realising it was Atul

Atul: theek hoon.!!! Aur tum? His tone was cold as usual. How much ever he tried he could never camoflauge the indifference in behaviour towards Riddhima.

Riddhima smiled lightly to acknowledge his forced question 'Theek hoon Di ayi hai kya ............'

Atul: Kal ayegi ............anyways I have to meet someone .........saying this he walked away leaving Riddhima standing there hoping the conversation was longer.

Riddhima 'Aisa kya hai jo Atul mujhse kabhi theek tarah se baat bhi nahi karta ............. jaane do Riddhima ..............woh kabhi nahi batayega.........kitni baar pooch chuki hoon .........' She brushed her thoughts aside and decided to call Juhi to check if all is fine at Sanjeevani and about the new case.

Riddhima: sab kaisa hai ??? aur woh doctor aya? kya tumhne case discuss kar liya? Kya bola woh? I hope his you have made sure he is comfortable haven't you ?

Juhi: ho gaya ......ya aur kuch poochna hai ........ don't get so hyper...........

Riddhima irritated with herself that indeed she was hyper but not because of work but something else altogether: hyper nahi ...........just want to make sure all is fine ............

Juhi excused herself from the Sid presence and headed out of the cabin to talk to Riddhima: Hyper nahi toh kya ........chill .............Sid mila ??? Juhi knew that Riddhima trusted her with work and never questioned much when she was out on conferences But today it was a different story and it was not because of she was worried about work. .......'Riddhima............Sid mila????'

Riddhima: Nahi .,...........uska naam bhi check kar liye attendees list mein ...........uska naam bhi nahi hai ..........

Juhi: then may be woh sab tumhara vehem tha ...........Riddhima relax he will be fine ...........tum conference pe concentrate karo aur don't worry all will be fine............aur yaha ki chinta mat karna........

Riddhima: Hmmmmmmmm woh naya doctor........???

Juhi: woh...........!!! now all excited to discuss her thoughts about him She knew this would be one way to again lighted the mood.............kya yeh sab US ke doctor ............bhudhavu nahi toh khadoos ..........definitely khadoos........... itna sternly aur cut to cut baat karta hai ..........aise lagta hai ki ek ek second ka million dollar charge hai aur kisine breathe bhi kiya toh pata nahi kya hojayega..............anyways whatever you say if he was not soo shadoo we would have had a task to get all the doctors and nurses to do their duty................ Have to say he is HOT!!! Actually you know what his attiude adds to his hotness.........

Riddhima: Juhi !!! ............then be happy he does not work here cause we don't want to work overtime to get all these people to work na ...............right !!! aur ab can we work ...........case ka kya hua.............???

Juhi: aree haan !!! he wanted to gets some tests done which are over and now waiting for the reports he is chalking out the action plan but he also said chances are minimal ........they may improve if she regains consciencenous  ...............lets see............but whatever you say Riddhima .............this man .......you know what I mean to say ...........after so much of experience and see so many cases we know how to mentally detach ourselves..............but this fellow .............he looks so unsettled whenever he talks about the chances.............

Riddhima: may be because he is a family friend............he may be attached.......

Juhi: that is there but ...............when I questioned him that why did he agree to it since his emotions could cloud his thinking as he is close family friend He said that he know those people and the parents were wonderful friends but he has does not know them so closely himself for him its just like father's friends. His eyes I have to say Riddhima they really talk ..............its strange there is seems to be so much pain in them ................

Riddhima: Juhi ............control ............he may be married for all you might know.............

Juhi: Mein kaha uske saath date pe jaane ki sooch rahi hoon ...............jaane de you have to meet this chap once.........chalo let me go the sadooo will start again .............you know what I feel you both can be closely related .........dono ke dono sadoo ..............chalo bye

Riddhima: Bye ............ Riddhima never took offense about Juhi's comments she knew she  never meant any harm. ........Suddenly she realised that she had forgotten to ask Juhi the doctors name ............Jaane do kal pooch loongi.





Part 31
Juhi finished the call and returned to her work. After working on the case for another half and hour both Sid and Juhi came to a conclusion that if the reports are as per expectations and if Purva pulls out of coma then they will operate on her

Sid: I think I will take the chance But I need a very skilled team It's going to be very long operation and the people on the team should ones who can focus for long hours and can been part of such operations.

Juhi: Don't worry I shall arrange the team. I think may be you could meet them before that way you are assured of the team's competence and also can know each other.

Sid: theek hai thats a good idea............any paper work required let me know .............so we don't have anything pending.............

Juhi: Don't worry .............i already have completed those while you were working on the case. Looking at you I knew you will not give up and we are definitely up for a surgery. A warm smile came up on her automatically She somewhere felt a very good vibe under the stern professional One who would never give up on anyone who is banking on him.

Sid just nodded back. Having seen Juhi work over the last few hours, all that he could assimilate that yes this lady is definitely a happy go lucky person but still very serious about her work and patients.................his thoughts trailed ..............recollecting his past days!!!

Juhi: Dr. Modi !!! kya hua

Sid snapped out his thoughts.......Nahi kuch nahi !!! I am sure you have already decided the team

Juhi very happy at her achievement 'Yes I have. Will inform them maybe you can meet them in hours time. Though you may feel its waste of time cause we still don't have the reports in

Sid: No No it will be 15 min deal ................. you need not be there I will quickly meet them cause we never know how things may progress .........yes if I was a part of this hospital today then this would have been waste of time..............By the way it seems it would be a pleasure to work with you as a team ...............

'Hope the feeling is mutual' Juhi said candidly and smiled

Sid: Hopefully............well many say I am not too difficult a person to work with

Juhi: I guess as long as everyone fulfills their responsibilities you don't give them grief.............right.............

Sid: Maybe I guess fulfilling responsibilities can give you and others a lot of grief.............. 'Mein farz ka rasta apnane ja rahi hoo'

Juhi: what ............Dr.Modi what happened ...............all bewildered at what Sid said

Sid: Nothing ..............By the way you have not even gone for lunch ........... carry on

Juhi: what about you? .........

Sid: Not really hungry ..........have still trying to get rid of the jet lag and the travelling .............

Juhi: In that case I would suggest you go back to the hotel and rest............once the reports are in I will call you.

Sid: No that's fine don't wanna go home right now ..........will not be able to rest there either ............. He knew memories may trouble him hence wanted to keep away. 'I will hang around maybe with the Shahs ..............just brief them with what is in mind and then prepare further on the case...........there is still some more work that I want to put my mind to.

Juhi: In that case I would insist at least sit down and have something light at least........and yes .......no need to hang around .......... you can use my office till the time you are here............

Sid: thanks but that's fine you don't have to stress yourself out.

Juhi: No stress .......at all ..........

Finally they agreed and made way to cafeteria. One the way Juhi suddenly remembered one task she wanted to complete so she asked Sid to make himself comfortable in the cafeteria and she would join him soon.

Sid was walking towards the cafeteria. Memories were again flooding his mind but he refused let his emotions sway. He had indeed some very fond memories of this place. 10 years had passed, yet he saw some familiar faces. Acknowledging each person he continued on his way to the cafeteria. He was dreading the moment when he may face to face with some who were his friends or the person who he loved and respected the most in his life.

He entered the cafeteria and ordered a coffee and sandwich. He choose a table in the corner to wait for his order to be done. Just then he noticed the notice board with some peices of articles. He stood there scanning them when there was a tap on his shoulder.  He turned around to see Juhi with a wide smile on her face.

He somehow had started liking this lady's attitude in this short time. She seemed like a breath of fresh air. He smiled and pointed towards his table. The food had also arrived while Juhi carried her tray in her hand. They sat down to eat.

Juhi: On my way here I just checked on the reports. They should be ready in an 1 hour or so.

Sid: Hmmmm that's nice ..........I was anyways going to ask you to do it after lunch. You are always one step ahead or is this special treatment.

Juhi: I don't like postponing anything ............kaam khatam ho gaya toh achaa lagta hai......... and it's not special treatment but yes I would want this case problem free at least from our side. I have to say its very sweet of your to come down for this surgery inspite on being on a vacation.

Sid: No no that's no issue at all

Juhi just wanted to strike a conversation while having lunch so continued .............

Juhi: so what brings you here ...........? Just sight seeing or visiting family?

Sid: visiting family...........

Juhi: Oh your parents stay in India ???

Sid: No ...........He did know what to tell Juhi ............. why exactly was he here? Shilpa !!! his thoughts had again started recollecting the sight he had seen the previous morning the letter and Rohan ......... his angelic grief stricken face. Tears were forming in his eyes. He quickly looked away.

Juhi: what happened ??? are you ok Dr. Modi???

Sid: Yes Yes ......absolutely ........not wanting to make anything obvious .........he plainly replied 'Actually I am here to take my son back with me' ....................He said those words and then he realized what he had said.......... 'Rohan always called him Bade Papa but now he was Rohan's only family No more only his Bade papa But his Papa ...........his FATHER

Juhi was surprised at his answer. Take back my son what did he mean by that. Anyways whom am I to interfere with his personal life.  But she could not help noticing the changed emotions on Sid's face as he spoke.

Sid also did not want to talk further on this matter so quickly changed the topic. 'By the way you can call me Dr. Siddhant..............

Juhi talking cue quickly replied .............I was going ask you ............Dr. Modi sounds soooooooooo

Sid: Budhavoo ???

Juhi: Yes!!!!!!!! And burst out laughing ........

Sid could not help join in. He felt different with this lady He had laughed after so many days. He could not help notice the similarities between her and his angel.


Part 32

The conference had wrapped up and everyone was busy just chatting up with collegues and old friends. Riddhima had also finished meeting with the people she had to meet and decided to make a move from there. She started searching for Atul. Together they could go home.

She looked around in the crowd when she noticed Atul was exiting from the conference hall. She could catch up with him only when they were nearing the parking lot.

Riddhima called out ' Atul!!!'

Atul stopped in his tracks and turned around to see Riddhima. 'Kya hua'

Riddhima: Ghar jaa rahe hoo?

Atul: Haan!

Riddhima: Mein bhi .......saath chalein........

Atul: tum aaj bhi Papa ke ghar rukhne wali ho?

Atul's question pierced Riddhima's heart. God knows how many days she has been staying there. A home which was not her's She was Riddhima Gupta by name but yet now that house was not hers. She did not seem to fit there anymore. She looked down thought for a moment 'Maybe I should not go there today maybe I should go to my ..............' She replied 'Nahi mein sooch rahi thi mein tumhe drop karte hua chali jaoingi .............

Atul: No need ....... unnecessary out of the way jaake kuch karne ki zaroorat nahi hai ..................

Riddhima: Kyu nahi Atul .............kya mein itna bhi nahi kar sakti ....................issi bahane todhi der ek doosre ke saath baate toh kar sakte hai ..............
Atul: agar conference pe kya hua discuss karna hai toh I really don't think there is much ........... aur waise bhi baate karne ke liye kuch zyada hai nahi ...........waise bhi .............mujhe aur kaam hai uske baare mein soch sakta hoon aur kal ka din plan kar sakta hoon .................

Riddhima could never understand why Atul always never wanted to be in her presence. Rage taking over her.............. It's been so many years that she had tried to understand but not today she was not going to let Atul go this time without an explaination.

Riddhima: Kya hai Atul Kyu nahi ............. kya hum baat bhi nahi kar sakte ..............itni nafrat karte ho mujhse..........kiya kya hai meine aisa..............? tumhe mujhe aaj batana hi padega............?

Atul: Well nor this is the place, time nor am I in a mood to give you any explaination and definitely not responsible to give you one.

Riddhima: Yes you are ................tumhe aaj batana hi hoga............

Atul without answering started walking towards the car.

Riddhima was not going to let Atul do this today. Determined in her mission she followed him. Atul tumhe batana padega............

Atul turned around to face 'Scene create karne ki koi zaroorat nahi' and continued to walk towards his car.

Riddhima now really wild with the accusation thrown at her .............. 'Scene mein create kar rahi hoon ya tum........... mujhe haq hai jaane ka ............hum ek waqt itne ache dost hua karte the..........par aaj .................

Atul cutting her off: Hua karte the ............toh samaj lo aaj nahi hai ........finish ........i am just your sister's husband aur meine uss naate ki saari formalities poora karta hoon ...............and that should be adequate and is adequate I don't want to do anything more than that with you and your husband. If possible just stay away I don't want any bad influence on my kids.

Atul's words were piecing Riddhima tears were rolling down her eyes : Kyu Atul .......... mein tumhare bacho pe kabhi bura asar daal sakti hoon ............. even if I had my own I would never differentiate ........... they are like my own ............

Atul: then please do differentiate they are my kids and as a father I do not want you preaching any nonsense to them especially your husband ask him so ..........tum dono ko dost bulane ki bhi sharam aati hai.........jo armaan ne kiya so kiya aur tum ........kaise.............

Riddhima: kya ??? Atul kya bol??? Haq banta hai unpe mera maasi hoon mein unki farz banta hai ki mein unko woh saara pyaar do jo unhe milna chahiye..........

Atul just stood there quiet. Riddhima had never been able to break his silence till date but today she had and he did not stop now he may reveal facts which would hurt everyone. But then he knew he had come very far today ...........

Riddhima not able to bear his silence: 'Bolo Atul aaj jo bhi hai maan mein boldo ............

Atul: aisaan kar rahi hoo mujhepe sunke jaise tumhne kiya Sid pe ............ aur armaan ke saath jo kiya woh kya tha..............

Riddhima's fears seemed to be coming true today. Kya kehna chahate ho Atul............?

Atul: Tumhare aur armaan ke beech ki saari baate ....... jo kuch hua woh sab maaloom hai ....................aur uske baad bhi poonch rahi hoo kya kiya tumne ...........pataya nahi armaan ne ki usne mujhe sab pata diya tha.........

Riddhima stood there as if lightning had struck her. 

Part 33

Purva was responding well today and now they were only waiting for her to gain conscienceness once. Sid and Juhi had decided tomorrow would be the D-Day. They would put Purva through the surgery. Since it was a long one Sid had to make sure that he rests well tonight.

Juhi: Dr Siddhant ..........I think you should call it a day ........today was a fruitful day and tomorrow we have another task at hand. We need to make sure we both rest well.

Sid: Yes !!!

Juhi: especially you It seems like you have slept for days together............

Sid: almost two i guess............but i doubt I would be able to sleep .........

Juhi: can I suggest ......? have a nice meal and pop a sleeping pill and sleep tight ................

Sid just smiled back. Its strange how this person who was a stranger a few hours back could display so much concern. Bidding good bye Sid left from there..............

==========================================================================

Riddhima opened her eyes and she saw Atul standing in front of her with some collegues. She looked disturbed how come there were so many people there ...........She was in one of the meeting rooms which were used during the day.

Atul: Tum theek ho !!!

Riddhima gave a weak smile to assure him she is fine.

Collegue 1: Let her sit down for some more time she will feel better We will leave now so you can rest. I think Atul its best you escort her home.

Atul just nodded. Once all the people had gone Riddhima spoke............ 'Mein yaha kaise ayi'

Atul: Behoos gayi thi ............aur kuch nahi ......

Riddhima tried recollect ............last she knew was she was talking to Atul and Atul telling her Tumhare aur armaan ke beech ki saari baate ....... jo kuch hua woh sab maaloom hai ............she closed her eyes in regret and sat there with her head down. Tears flowing down her eyes.
After a few moments she mustered courage to talk to Atul 'Mein theek hoon !!! Tum ghar jaovo mein taxi leke chali jaoingi.............'

Atul: Itna naatak karne ki zaroorat nahi hai ........... chalo ab

Once in the car Atul started driving towards Riddhima's and armaan's house. Riddhima did not have the courage to object just sat quietly.

The thought was constantly troubling her who all knew. As they were nearing home she finally mustered the courage. Atul ........

But before she could answer Atul parked the car and made a go at her. 'Yaheen jaanana chahati ho na ki kab armaan ne mujhe pataya aur kisko pata hai..............?

Riddhima could not handle his glaring stare She just looked down.  Guilty she was and she knew it well.

Atul: Meri aur anjali ki shaadi pehle armaan bachelors party karna chahata tha........ yaad aya....... mein usse uss raat kaise ghar leya tha .........khada bhi nahi ho raha tha woh......................tab nashe ki halat mein usne yeh sab bataya...........celebrate karna chahata tha ki hum dono ne apna pyaar paa liya finally ..............

Images of the past came rushing again 'Tak chukka hu mein tumhe yeh samjhate ki hum ek doosre ko paane ke liye bane hai' 'Tum sirf meri ho ...........' 'accept karo ki tumhare dil mein saaso mein sirf mein hoon''Tum Sid ki kabhi ho hi nahi sakti kyuki tum Sid ki thi hi nahi' 'Tum sirf meri ho aur agar yeh tumne accept nahi kiya toh mein tumse woh accept karvaonga'
Atul: Actually Nahi !!! Celebrate nahi sirf jaatana chahata tha ki kaise usne akir tumhe paa liye ........kitna saacha tha uska pyar ki laut ayi tum uske paas.........
 'Tum sirf meri ho sirf mera haq hai tumpar' 'Dekhana chahata tha aur yahi prove karna chahata tha mein apne aap ko Sid ko aur tumhe'

Atul: kabhi Sid ko ...........

'kyu nahi aane diya tha Sid ko apne kareeb ...........pati hone ke bawajood ............' 'Kaise hogi tumhari zindagi tumhara pati koi aur aur tum pyaar kisi aur se karti hoo Riddhima tum aur kisi ke saath par sochti mere baare mein rahogi'
Riddhima screamed as she could not hear further Atul bas please ............crying uncontrollably

Atul: kyu tum dono ko yeh sab karte waqt sharam nahi ayi ........... istamal kiya tumne Sid ka ............. usne tumhara tab saath diya jab sabi ne tumhara saath choda ...........usse shaadi karne ka faisla dono baar tumhara tha.............aur jo tumne kiya uske saath .................you god damn used him ........used him for your motives ............both of you ...............

Riddhima sat there head lowered with shame. Every word that Atul said was true in a way.

 Atul waited for Riddhima to alight. He waited for a few moments then reminded Riddhima that they had reached home. 'Riddhima.......ghar'

Riddhima nodded and alighted from the car.

Atul: One more thing ...........jab yeh baate hui tab koi nahi tha..........thankfully party break ho chuki thi ...............aur yeh baat meine kisi ko nahi batayi hai ......... anjali ko bhi nahi ........

Riddhima: Thank you Atul ............I am so.....................

But before she could continue Atul drove off leaving a crumbling Riddhima behind. For a few moments she stood there looking in the direction the car went. Still trying to come to terms.One more relationship which was destroyed.

She turned to go towards her house but somehow did not feel like. armaan and her house.........it never felt like home..............She just turned and left to go to sanjeevani





The dialogues highlighted in red are from the serial while this only in italics are Riddhima recollecting her past 10 years.
I want to apologize that I am not replying to your comments and Thank you soo much for all the love and encouragement that you have been giving me ...........also for the threats but honestly how much ever I want it to happen soon I have thought of a flow and would not want to skip stages ........hence SR meeting would not happen till another couple of updates but yes ........Riddhima will now know he is there in Sanjeevani .......but the next update...........


Part 34

Riddhima sat in her cabin.. Atul's words were ringing in her ears. 'sirf jaatana chahata tha ki kaise usne akir tumhe paa liya ........ kitna saacha tha uska pyar ki laut ayi tum uske paas.........'
She was still trying to come to terms with what Atul told her today. 'Pyar karte the na mujhse zindagi thi na mein tumhari ........hamesha yahi kehte the na toh kyu har mod par sharminda karte gaye.......
Riddhima's thoughts started trailing........
'Sir yaad hai yaheen pe meine aap se kaha tha ki mein Riddhima ko kush rakonga aur apko laga tha ki Riddhima ki khushi Siddhant ke saath thi........... Meine tab bhi kaha tha apse ki Riddhima ki shaadi kisi aur se hui hai lekin woh kisi aur se pyar karti hai uski khushi kisi aur ke saath hai par aap nahi mane ......... '
Kitna sharminda feel kiya tha ............ Papa kitna bura laga tha uss din. Doshi mante rahe apne aap ko mujhepar shaadi thopne ke liye........mujhe aur armaan ko alag karne ke liye..............

Sid ne kaha tha uss din ki tumhare pyar ka matlab sirf mujhe pana tha........ vishwas karne ka nahin maan tha .......... jitni baar bhi yeh khayal aaya tab meine woh nazarandaz kar diya ' armaan please .....mein bahoot tak gayi hoon aur kal bhi jaldi jaana hoga .........surgery bhi hai aur most important kal papa ke bhi tests hai I need to be there.........regular duty bhi hai ..........
armaan: kyu karti ho tum itna kaam delegate karo na.........ya phir hire someone else............Dr. Kirti Dr. Shubankar ........good idea you could ask them to join back ........it will be good fun like old times........ aur phir sirf tum and main .........'

'armaan uss ladki ke saath kya kar rahe the.........' 'Jalan ho rahi thi na.............mujhe maloom tha.....' 'aisa kuch nahi hai armaan' 'aisa nahi hai toh kaisa hai .............nahin dekh sakti na tum mujhe kisi aur ke saath ............hai na ......say it ..... I like it when you are possessive about me Say it ......' 'what armaan ???' 'Say you love me basket' 'armaan that's not the point ............woh ek intern hai aur tum ek senior doctor professional dayare mein rehna seekho ...........it does not portray a good image' 'What good image mein toh sirf ek prank khel raha tha .........tumhe jalane ke liye ...........Mein tumhe bahoot achi tarah janta hoon..........' 'Tumse baat karne ka koi fayada nahi hai ..............'
ek baar itna chaha tha tumhe ki mann hi maan raha tha ki tum aise bhi ho sakte ho.......... Nafratsi hoti thi khud se...............
Saath dene ka wada toh kar diya lekin jab sab se jyada zaroorat padi tab nahi the tum.............
'Papa abhi bhi recuperate kar rahe hai he cannot work for some more months aur kiya toh bhi he cannot stress himself............Hum dono ko ab yeh sambhalna padega Anjidi aur Atul bhi ab chale jayenge .........armaan try to understand .........Sanjeevani and Papa needs us. I know you want to start with your music and shows and stuff but can't that happen later Sanjeevani needs you ......I need you.'

Kabhi kuch sachai se nahi kiya, har ek wade ko thodte gaye, tumhari har ek jyati bardaast ki. Mazzak bana di thi meri zindagi ............ kabhi uss raat ka zickra kabhi nahi karenge ............. Iss wade ko bhi thod diya Bas ab aur nahi ................

Suddenly her chain of thoughts was broken. Hey Riddhima, tum yaha ..........conference se yaha kyu aa gayi............

Riddhima: Nahi !!! kuch nahi ............kuch kaam yaad aa gaya socha katam kar loo..........

Juhi: Tum ro rahi thi ............??? kya hua?

Riddhima: Nahi ........just thak gayi hoon .......

Juhi: Sid mila nahi kya isliye upset ho ...........???

Riddhima: Nahi .........aisa kuch nahi hai .............its just that I am too tired ............ghar hi jaane ki soch rahi hoon ............thoda aur kaam khatam karke nikhal jaoingi ........

Juhi knew Riddhima was lying because there was no files open on her desk and when she walked Riddhima was doing nothing other than staring into blank air. She thought maybe Riddhima wanted time for herself, to collect herself and her thoughts. She also needed to rest well and be in early for the surgery so she decided to go home instead of hanging around.

Juhi: Riddhima kal Purva ki surgery schedule kar di humne .............paperwork ready uss file mein ........dekh ke sign kar dena ............tumhara approval lagega .............

Riddhima: hmmmmmm

Juhi: Mein chalti hoon ................tum bhi jyada der kaam mat karte rehna ...........jaldi ghar chali jaana......

Riddhima: hmmmm

Just as Juhi left Riddhima's phone rang. Riddhima looked at the phone and saw that person's name flashing who had hurt her the most...........armaan.........

Without any hesitation she disconnected the call. The phone again started ringing. Once again she disconnected the call and started typing a message ' In a meeting, in case you are coming specially for the pooja don't come I will not be in town for this whole week have a camp to attend.'

Riddhima knew that if she spoke today to armaan there would be another arguement where armaan would never understand her point of view and he may do something which may aggrevate matters further. She sent the message and kept the phone away not bothering to check if armaan has replied or not.

'Nahi jee sakti aise mein ab aur.........nahi reh sakti uss ghar mein ...........nahi reh sakti tumhare saath aur..........'

======================================================================

Today was another day when Sid's skills would be put to test. He reached Sanjeevani and like the previous day made way to the ICU without paying much heed to the surrounding and people.

Juhi was already there.

Sid: Is everything alright?

Juhi: Yes........ I think you could just brief the team once.

Sid: Lets just check on Purva once before we take the final call whether we can start the surgery or have to wait for some hours.

They checked on Purva and decided that they should head for surgery right away. Sid decided to brief the team while Juhi thought of checking up on the papers which she had left for Riddhima to sign.

To her disappointment the file was still unsigned.  She called up Riddhima to ask if there was any specific reason.

Juhi: Riddhima .......woh Purva ke surgery ke papers tumne sign nahi kiye ........koi problem hai...........

Riddhima: Nahi ..............woh meine kal papers dekhe nahi .........

Juhi: Hum surgery karne wale the par approval bina kaise............ can you .......??

Riddhima: don't worry .............go ahead and do the surgery mein baad mein papers sign kar dongi .........i trust you .............and best of luck

Juhi: thanks ..........kab tak hospital aane wali ho ..........
Riddhima: shayaad duper tak ............late ho jayega........

Juhi a bit concerned....... kal bhi tum bahoot upset lag rahi thi............. sab theek toh hai na ...........

Riddhima: Ab sab theek hoga .........

Juhi did not understand what she meant by that but thought of talking about it later Currently Purva's surgery was a priority .......... 'Take care talk to you in the evening'

Riddhima disconnected the call and again started to absorb in the new surroundings. 'Ghar ..........shayaad mujhe bahoot pehle kar lena chahiye tha.........'
Before leaving Sanjeevani last night Riddhima had called her friend who rented apartments. Tired of this vagabond life Riddhima now wanted to settle into a place where she could come back to A place which she could call her own where she belonged. Last she felt so when she was at Shilpa's house. 'Shilpa .............uss waqt usne meri bahoot madat ki thi ..............ek chooti behen ki tarah ...........bahoot pyara bacha hai uska ..........naam kya tha.............haan !!! Rohan ............. chalo let me set the cupboards and shower. Hospital bhi jaana hai .............'

Part 35
Riddhima finished showering and was getting ready to leave for the hospital. She was making a mental note of all the work that she needed to do with her new home when the phone rang.

Riddhima: Hello mamma

Padma: Kaisi ho ........

Riddhima: mein theek hoon .............aur aap?

Padma: mein bhi ...............kuch poochana tha........ armaan Mumbai nahi aanewala hai toh aaj raat yahi rahogi na ...............

Riddhima was not surprised now at armaan's lack of response to her message. Ohhh !!! so armaan never was going to come hence he did not call back to object her being out of town. If not then he would have definitely had a reason to pick up another arguement with me.

Riddhima: Nahi mumma !!!! mein mere ghar pe rahoongi aaj .............

Padma found her statement wierd 'Mere ghar pe' In all these years she never referred to armaan's house as 'Mera ghar' She did not know how to react to her statement so just let it be 'Theek hai .......kal toh ghar aaogi na ..........pooja hai ......... har saal shanti ki pooja karti hoon iss saal toh aa jayo ..........

Riddhima: Pata nahi .......

Padma: Achaa pooja ke liye na sahi........ kaane ke liye toh aogi nah!!!'

Riddhima: agar kaam nahi hua toh zaroor aa jaongi........ koshish karoongi .............Atul's words were ringing in her ears. 'please do differentiate they are my kids and as a father I do not want you preaching any nonsense to them'

Padma: theek hai tumhari marzi ..............

Riddhima: Di aur baache aa gaye kya ......?

Padma: Nahi aabhi nahi ............afternoon tak aa jayenge ............Atul aur Anjali pooja ke liye baithenge.......

Riddhima: hmmmm achaa hai ...........

Again Padma did not understand what she meant by achaa hai......

Riddhima: Mumma mein rakti hoon .........todhi der mein milte huye hospital jaongi.............

It was almost afternoon but Riddhima decided to take the chance of going home to pick up her stuff and car. She wanted to avoid meeting the kids as Atul had asked her to stay away.

She quickly took a cab and made way home.

As soon as she entered Anjali's kids ran to her and hugged her.

Ayaan (Anjali's son): Kaisi hai aap maasi? Aapko kitna miss kiya?

Riddhima: mein bhi aapko miss karongi.............

Ayaan: yaane aap yaha nahi rehne wali hai ..............

Riddhima: nahi Ayaan ..........kuch kaam hai isliye mein apne ghar jaane wali hoon............

Ayaan: Par armaan uncle bhi nahi hai toh phir kyu ............rahiye na plzzzzzzzz Both the kids were insisting that she stays It pained her that she did not have any right on them any more She wanted to spend time with them but could not. She was not worthy for it and indeed what Atul said was right it is best that she stays away.

Atul who was watching all this. 'Ayaan Aroshi chalo maasi ko tang mat karo ........ mein baat karta hoon unse....... Both the kids left as instructed by their father. Just then Anjali walked into the room
Anjali: Tum iss waqt .........Hospital nahi gayi............

Riddhima: Nahi di kuch kaam tha isliye late jaa rahi hoon ............saying this she quickly made way to her room. Atul and Anjali walked into the room and noticed that Riddhima was packing her bag.

Anjali: Kya hua bag kyu pack kar rahi hai ............

Riddhima: Nahi di .......actually ..............she was at loss of words what reason to give for her behaviour

Anjali: Mein aayi hoon aur tum kaha jaane ki tayari kar rahi hoo ............. armaan bhi nahi hai toh reh javo yahi pe ..........

Riddhima: Nahi di ..........actually ........

Anjali: Kya nahi di nahi di kar rahi hai ...........kuch problem hai ............

Riddhima: woh .......actually ghar pe kuch kaam karvana hai isliye .........socha wahi pe reh jaoingi ..............
Anjali: abhi karvana hai baad mein nahi kar sakti .........hamare jaane ke baad ............

Riddhima: Nahi woh zaroori kaam hai .........ho jayega toh achaa hai ........aur phir hospital mein bhi kaam hai .............toh asaani rahegi..............

Anjali: Ab armaan ka gussa humpe kyu utar rahi hai ................yeh kya pehli baar nahi hai ki armaan apne hi dhun mein hai ............

Anjali had started noticing visible changes in her sister and brother in law's relation right after their marriage. First she brushed it aside saying these two were always like this always arguing but then the arguments started taking a different dimension altogether. armaan stopped attending hospital for long periods after his accident. Then during her father's illness he suddenly decided that wanted to take some time off to refresh himself so that he can rejoin duties refreshed. But he never got back He suddenly decided he did not want to practice instead went into trying his hand at doing something creative.
That had been the turning point for Riddhima and armaan's relationship she felt. Anjali quite understood where Riddhima was coming from. She wanted stability. She already had been through a lot. But everytime armaan's temper flew he would either go a long drive / ride or disappear to some of his favourite rendezvous. If a small fight somewhere close by or else Panchgani, Mahableswar etc. Nice tactic to cool down but not without informing anyone / anybody. This had cause a lot of tension to all at home especially her father. He always could not understand whether his allowing this alliance was right or not. But slowly every one accepted it as a way of life. More like if you can't cure it endure it. And for Riddhima also it was the same story more so because she would be the one who would bear the most brunt of it all. Being constantly under scanner from all ends whether she is happy and fine or are there issues which needed help Many a times Anjali tried to speak to her but of no use. She would not relent.

Riddhima: Nahi di aisa kuch nahi hai .............mein dekti hoon agar mein aa paya toh definitely aa jaoingi ..............smiled lightly as if to assure Anjali that she will definitely try.

Atul: Anjali chalo tumhe kal ki tayari karni hai na........... pehle fresh ho javo phir dekhte hai kya kay kaam hai...........

Riddhima: Haan di .............aap please continue .............. I will finish here and meet you outside phir todhi der baate karenge...........again making a lame attempt to assure Anjali all is fine.

Anjali left but Atul waited back. He wanted to talk to Riddhima. Riddhima was visibly uncomfortable She did not know what to say or do ........or behave in his presence after yesterday's revelations.

She continued to pack her bags.
Atul: Riddhima...............

Before he could continue ..........Riddhima spoke: Atul ............I am sorry for ................ mein kabhi nahi chahungi ki Ayaan aur Aroshi pe bura asar pade ...............aur shayaad jo tumne kaha woh sahi hai .........don't worry I will not .............mein jyada unke kareeb jaane ki koshish nahi karongi ...........

Atul: mein ..........

Riddhima: Atul please if you are

Atul: Can you please let me talk?

Riddhima: Sorry ............i didn't mean to be rude ............

Atul: Can I ??? looking at Riddhima questioning her if she was going to allow him to speak................She sat on the bed with head bowed down in shame.

Atul: Riddhima jo kuch meine kal kaha ........mujhe aise nahi kehna chahiye tha............ shayaad itne saalo tak meine yeh mujhme daaba ke raka tha ............shayaad isliye .........mein jaanta hoon tum mere baacho ko kabhi kuch bura nahi hone doongi..........but try to understand .............

Riddhima: I know .............agar kabhi unhe yeh sab pata chalega toh kaisa lagega.........

Atul: Riddhima mein apni taraf se kabhi nahi pata chalne nahi doonga mujhe yeh bhi yakeen hai tum kabhi yeh nahi kahoogi...........lekin armaan ...............aur yeh bhi nahi hai ..............tumne kya kar liya hai ............shaadi shuda ho lekin saath nahi rehte jyada ..............pechale saal mein kitni baar saath rahe hai.............its not a health family life and that is what I feel more so for ..............

Riddhima: i know I am setting a bad example for your kids ........isiliye toh mein nahi

Atul: you are not getting the point .................yeh mere bacho pe bura asar padne ki baat nahi hai ..........kya bana li hai apni zindagi ................. kaise jee sakti hoo tum uske saath jab you don't even feel for him...........kudh ko bhi hurt kar rahi ho aur sab ko ...........constantly tension hota hai ............ab kuch hua tab kuch hua ...........haan iska bacho pe asar padta hai ............but hum kitne din hote hai ....par Mumma Papa ..............should we be subjecting them to all this?
Riddhima: Mein bahoot koshish karti hoon .............lekin ab sab feeling mar si gayi hai mujhe me ........ armaan ko waise bhi kuch farak nahi padta...............

Atul: Don't mind but this may sound really harsh but as long as you are there you are his it does not matter.............and now don't try to defend him ...........you have always done that ..........all i see is you dreading him being around............... Stop hurting yourself .............kal raat bhi Mumma wohi baat kar rahi thi ............

Riddhima: Atul I really want to fix things ................. but kaise ............

Atul: That is one thing I will not be able to tell you cause it is your life you have to decide............what you want from it.?

Riddhima: uss ek kamzoor pal ne poori tarah tabah kar diya..............

Atul: Riddhima ................woh galti ek baar maaf bhi kar sakta hai koi lekin uske baad jo tum karti gayi un sab ka asar jyada pada hai tumpar aur hum sab par bhi ....................

Riddhima: Atul I am sorry ...............

Atul: sorry for what ..............but yes agar tum kal jo karne ki koshish kar rahi thi woh tumne kiya toh yes ............i think you will really have to feel sorry for the rest of your life .............

Riddhima looked up at Atul in shock Did he know .........???

Atul: Tum kal Sid ko dundh rahi thi ............!!!

Riddhima eyes widened with shock How did he know?

Atul; Jab tum reception pe attendees list se disappoint ho kar help desk ko uske baare mein pooch rahi thi tab meine suna....................

Riddhima: Actually mein toh sirf..............

Atul: I really don't know what you wanted to say or do but just be careful...........that is all I will say ...........and take care...............

Riddhima just nodded once again. Kal kaane pe aa jaana .........it will be nice to have you here.


Part 36

Riddhima parked and walked into Sanjeevani. As she walked in she felt at peace. It was just another day. But she did not how this was going to change her life for ever.

She walked upto the nurse station and checked if the duties were properly lined up or not. She asked a nurse going towards her cabin to put her bag in. The same feeling was tugging her heart. She brushed it aside thinking that maybe her conversation with Atul was influencing it. She proceeded to take her rounds to check if all is going well. When she was approached the section which had the operation theatres she noticed a buzz in the viewing gallery. She waited at the entrance to understand what the conversation was instead of just barging in to fire the interns for chatting instead of observing.
Intern1: Freak man what the hell is this person? He has been on his feet for like what 4 hours now yet look at him.
Intern2: Saale ka kya haath hai ........Rock steady ......awesome.........

Riddhima realised the interns were just discussing about the surgeons skills. Hence did not barge in. She was wondering which surgery it was when a nurse passed by.

Riddhima: Nurse kaunsa operation chal raha hai ........

Nurse: Purva Shah........woh head injury wali.........

Riddhima: Oh....ok theek hai

She turned and walked out when she recollected that the papers for this were not yet signed. She called out to the nurse and asked her to ask a ward boy or another nurse to bring the file while she was there.
She completed the rounds and came back to the viewing gallery. The strange feeling of warmth was again being sensed. She brushed her thoughts aside to find that many of the interns except two who were observing the operation were gone as they had duties.
Riddhima: How long is the operation going on for?

Intern 1: It's almost 6 hours.

Riddhima: hmmm  ok are you done with your duties or have you been asked to observe?

Intern1 a bit scared that if she does not give a satisfactory answer she would be in for a firing: No we were on early morning shift and done with the duties. Thought of waiting back don't know when we will get a chance to observe such a skilled doctor operating.

Riddhima just nodded and just as she was going to start observing the operation the nurse came with the file she had asked for.The viewing gallery had couple of chairs and a large LCD monitor which ran the live relay of the operation more of the close up of the what the surgeon was doing. Also there was a large glass window where one could see the doctors and surgeons at work. She took the file and absent mindedly opened it while looking toward the monitor. She kept observing it for some time and then she pulled out a pen to sign the papers and shifted her attention to look at the file. She started scanning through the documentation at a fast pace. She knew Juhi was very prim with her work and she really just has to breeze through them. Half of her attention was at the LCD screen. She could not understand why she found everything so familiar. She came upon the sanction document authorising a non-affiliate doctor to operate in Sanjeevani. She glanced at the document for a moment to locate the dotted line, signed it and moved to the next form. She was looking through this form when she suddenly turned back to the previous page. This time, reading it more intently. Name of the Doctor: Dr. Siddhant Modi ................Dr. Siddhant Modi the words escaped her mouth ............Sid!!!





All dialogues highlighted in red are from the FF's previous part while Blue italic are from the serial
Special thanks to Pragzie for checking the rough draft and to ReshuSaluja for checking the draft and selecting the dialogues.

Part 37

Riddhima just sat there. Motionless. There was the person whom she had been sensing for last few days. The person whom she wanted to see so desperately just once. Just to reassure herself that yes he is indeed fine. He was there right in front of her eyes. She kept staring at him. Suddenly everything in front of her started getting blurred.  Is this is a dream? She looked down at the document, trying to read. The words appeared all hazy. As she blinked few tears spread over the name Dr. Siddhant Modi which now could be seen clearly. A warm smile spread over her face. No, it's not a dream. She ran her fingers over the name to clear the tear drops off it. She looked up and kept gazing at the figure standing behind the glass window. Sid!!!
She continued to sit there as if in a trance. Images of the time spent together were running in her mind.......... Tears continued to run down her face but the smile refused to leave her lips. happy beautiful moments spent with this man............her man........ were flooding her mind............. 'the day when were got bound to each other in holy matrimony........her man had held her hand for the first time and led her through the marriage ceremony .......who accepted her for what she was 'Meine tumhe tumhare kal aur aaj ke saath accept kiya hai'......their happy times together ........when they first chatted as friends ......... 'Tum haste hua bahoot achi lagti hoo' her man who had always fought for her and brought her back to life everytime. Her man who proudly wanted to take her back home their home 'Tum meri patni ho, I want my wife back' with whom she wanted to live her entire life 'main sirf tumhare saath rehna chahti hu' who never ashamed of accepting his feelings for her 'Aaj jab meine tumhe kiss kiya It felt wonderful aur mujhe nahi lagta ki meine koi galti ki hai' who waited for her 'Mein jaanta hoon tum comfortable nahi ho' and promised her that he will always love her regardless anything 'Chahe kuch bhi ho jaye Riddhima mein tumse bahoot pyaar karoonga' and he did 'Mein tumse pyar karta hoon aur kuch nahi expect karta.' love her without any expectations They lived for each other's happiness and She couldn't help but feel amused at this innocent man whom she harassed a lot at times. 'Tum gussa ho toh mere playstation pe gussa kyu nikhal rahi hoo' 'This is not fair tum aise mujhe ignore kaise kar sakti hoo meri baat toh sunoh' They fought at times.............fought Her expressed changed suddenly ...........the pain that she gave him could be seen in her eyes. 'Meine divorce papers sign kar diye hai jaa kar court mein file kar do ' 'Iss shaadi ke pavitra rishte ka apmaan kiya hai meine' 'Istamaal kiya hai tumne mere Riddhima aur woh bhi itni buri tarah' ..................
Suddenly she heard a voice calling her. Dr. Riddhima..... Dr. Riddhima  .......aap theek ho ?
Riddhima snapped back to reality She looked around to see the two interns were looking at her with concerned eyes.
Intern1: Aap theek ho?
Riddhima: Haan .........haan .........mein theek hoon ...........She again looked down to check the document once again to make sure what she felt, what she had seen was indeed true or just a dream.
Intern2: Aap roo kyu rahi hai? Completely confused what is there in the documents that Riddhima was reacting like this

Riddhima just looked at the Intern blankly. She got up and looked through the glass window oblivious of everything around. Her ears were ringing .............
'Istamaal kiya hai tumne mere Riddhima aur woh bhi itni buri tarah' ..................' 'aur jo tumne kiya uske saath .................you god damn used him ........used him for your motives' 'His eyes I have to say Riddhima they really talk ..............its strange there is seems to be so much pain in them ..........' She was staring wide eyed at Sid. Just then one of the interns voice brought her out of her thoughts. 'Ma'am aap bait jayiye .......aur yeh lijiye paani ........' handing a glass of water. Riddhima just looked at the person then looked back at Sid and hurried out of the viewing gallery leaving the puzzled interns behind.

Walking with quick but unsure steps she headed towards her cabin. 'Sid yaha ............meine ussi ko mehsoos kiya aaj bhi........woh theek hai ..............par uski aankhen ......... recollecting the eyes she had seen........... troubled yes.........they were troubled filled with pain ...........Nahi ..........shayaad surgery ka stress .............par 'His eyes I have to say Riddhima they really talk ..............its strange there is seems to be so much pain in them ..........' haan yeh sab meri wajah se hai .............' 'you god damn used him.........both of you' 'Koi insaan tumpar aisa asar kaise kar sakta hai ki tumhara waqt tumhari sooch aur tumpar bhi apna haq jama le itna ki tum apne patients aur pati ko bhool javo' 'Aaj bahoon mein liya hai kal'  'Kaise vishwas karo mein tumpar tumne toh dhoka diya hai mujhe' 'His eyes I have to say Riddhima they really talk ..............its strange there is seems to be so much pain in them ..........' 'you god damn used him.........both of you' 'Istamaal kiya hai tumne mere Riddhima aur woh bhi itni buri tarah' The words were ringing in her ears............... She hurried to into her cabin sweat forming on her brow, she collapsed on the chair. With unsteady hands picked the glass of water to take a sip but spilling much of it. Shayaad Atul ne sahi kaha ............. istamaal kiya meine Sid ka ...............  nahi de sakti usse aur dukh koi haq nahi hai mujhe uske baare mein fikar karne ka bhi ...... par sirf usse ek baar dekhna chahati thi tasali karna chahati thi ...........' Atul ne kaha tha aaj mein galati kar rahi hoon ...............usse dekhte hi woh sab yaad aa gaya ...........aisa laga ki kal ki hi baat thi...........lekin yeh galat hai .......... 'Juhi's words started ringing in her ears jo tum kal karne ki koshish kar rahi hoo................ usse milne ki......tumhne nahi lagata ki tum galat kar rahi hoo...............?????? aur agar tumse phir se wohi galati hui toh ..................' 'Abhi bhi shaadi shudha hoon ..............yeh theek nahi ..............kya hua ki armaan aur mein aaj ek saath nahi hai par phir bhi ........... shaadi shudha hoon.............Sid ko yeh bilkul achaa nahi lagega......... yeh sahi nahi hai ............... Sid ko bahoot takleef de chuki hoon aur nahi de sakti ..........Bahoot saaf dil ka hai woh kabhi kuch galat nahi karta nah hi hone deta hai ............usse yeh achaa nahi lagage.............mujhe usse door rehna hi hoga...........haan yahi theek hai...........usse aur hurt nahi karoongi mein ........





Part 38

Riddhima sat in her cabin lost in her own thoughts. She still could not terms with her feelings and more so with how she should handle this new development. The one who she yearned to see was right in front of her eyes but she should be staying away from him. But why should she do that is something her heart did not want to accept. 'I know myself. Somewhere over the years all feelings are dead. But what if ............??? But I know myself and more so I know Sid. Sid Kabhi kuch galat nahi kar sakta. I think I can go to see him again Just once more!!! No ........am I being greedy??? ......Yes ....... I am ...........I should not go ............Yes yeah theek nahi hoga .............I think i should just go on my rounds again to see all is fine.........that will help keep my mind away from all this...........

Just then a nurse knocked and walked in 'Ma'am aapki file viewing gallery mein reh gayi thi' 

Riddhima: Hun!! Haan !!! theek hai rakh do .............she looked at the file and remembered what happened. 'Collect yourself Riddhima !!!' She thought to herself. Before the nurse could leave Riddhima asked her if the operation was over to which she said it was still on.

Riddhima: Itni der......

Nurse: Haan ma'am ab kuch 8 ghante ho jayenge ...........

This worried Riddhima She knew such surgeries were extremely long, at times going upto 12 hours but still. The thought troubled her.

Riddhima acknowledged the nurse information by just nodding her head returned her attention to the file. She opened it again and looked at the sanction document. 'Dr. Siddhant Modi' Sid!!!'. Once again a warm smile spread over her face. She felt nice. She forced herself back to reality 'I guess mein rounds khatam kar leti hoon.'

She got up to start her rounds. After an hour or so she was now heading towards the operating theatres. 'Mujhe ek baar check kar lena chahiye agar surgery khatam hogayi hai ki nahi ........' saying this she headed towards the section.

Riddhima: Purva Shah's surgery is it over?

Nurse: No ma'am it will take another hour it seems ..............kyu Dr. Juhi ke liye kuch message tha kya .........

Riddhima: Nahi .........aise hi poocha .........

She turned to leave when she realised that if it's gonna take another hour only so may be Sid's work would be done. Rest remaining would be only reattaching of the bone back in and stiching skin flap. She wanted to check but did not want to go back to the viewing gallery fearing if the two interns being there still. 'Agar woh do interns wahi honge toh .............agar unhone wapis mujhse kuch pooch liya toh ........ Lekin kya farak padta .............Nahi !!! ..........mujhe aise nahi karna chahiye ..........Agar kahi Sid ko pata chala toh usse achaa nahi lagega ..............par usse kaise pata lag sakta hai..............dekh leti hoon ek baar..................After a brief debate with herself she ultimately decided not to She turned to the nurse.

Riddhima: Nurse...........jaise hi Sid ....I mean Dr. Sid ............ Siddhant Modi surgery khatam karke bahar aye toh mujhe baata dena ..........

Nurse: Unse kuch kaam tha .........??? Mein unko apko milne ko bolu kya ......

Riddhima panicked...........Nahi!!! kuch kaam nahi hai ..............sirf mujhe inform kar dena ........unhe kuch batane ki zaroorat nahi ............

Nurse nodded to acknowledge the instructions were understood and continued to do her work.

Riddhima continued on her rounds and after some time settled in her cabin to wait for the call. Her thoughts yet were ready to settle down. Something troubled her. She seemed troubled. She was trying to place her finger on it. Is it what she felt in the afternoon, is it because the surgery is taking so long.............His eyes............She closed her eyes for a brief moment and the image flashed by. 'Nahi nahi .......itne saalo baad bhi ........... Sid ne kaha tha woh kush rahega ............woh ab tak sab kuch bhool chukka hoga............ woh toh apne present mein vishwas rahene walo mein se tha............. usse yaad bhi nahi aati hongi mein............waise bhi kyu yaad karega ............. dard ke shiwai kuch diya hi nahi meine usse.............. nahi ...........Itni der surgery ...........woh bhi itne bade safar ke baad ussi ke wajay se .......haan !!! Usne subah kuch khaya bhi hoga ya nahi ........pata nahi ......... hamesha bahoot laparwah hai ........... akele hota hai toh kuch khata bhi nahi ....... aur upar se 8 ghante se OT mein hai '

Here the surgery was wrapping up yet Sid refused to move away. Juhi tried to reason with him but he did not relent.

Juhi: aree yeh toh hamesha junior surgeons karte hai so you can move out

Sid: Na its fine ..............I can wait here waise bhi I have to make sure all is fine.........Papa ke dost ki beti hai ............she almost like my sister .........so chill .......... you leave I will be here................ finally he packed Juhi off and waited for all to be done.

Juhi changed and was on her way to her cabin when she remembered about the file which Riddhima required to sign. She thought of collecting the same if Riddhima was available.

While at the other end riddhima was busy trying to think what she should do 'Yeh toh mein kar sakti hoon na after all ............mein usse miloongi nahi lekin yeh toh definitely kar sakti hoon ........... Happy with herself she made a quick phone call. As she was settling down to do her work Juhi walked into her cabin. She was quite happy with today's surgery she was in a very pleasant mood despite the long hours.

Juhi: Hi ............

Riddhima was surprised to see her 'Tum yaha kaise...........operation khatam ho gaya ............itne jaldi............ i thought it would take some more time ...............is everything fine...........where is Sid?

Juhi was extremely tired and so she mentally switched herself off the minute Riddhima started her question with tum yaha kaise. She knew she would be bombarded by questions which really did not require any explaination. Riddhima was being herself she knew. Hyper. So switch off.  She used this technique always till Riddhima cooled down.

But today was another day ............Riddhima:  Juhi ...........kya hua ??? tum yaha kaise..............

Juhi: Can I talk? and can i breathe first?

Riddhima temper was rising 'Agar surgery khatam ho gayi toh nurse ne phone kyu nahi kiya .........aur agar nahi hui toh yeh Sid ko waha chod kar yaha kya kar rahi hai '

Thankfully for Juhi before Riddhima lost her temper Juhi started giving her an update.

Juhi: aree woh sadoo!!!

Riddhima was really irritated 'Firstly she does not know Sid how can she damn call him Sadoo!!!" She wanted to give Juhi a peice of her mind but bit back her words........

Juhi: 'woh hatne ke liye tayaar hi nahi tha........ actually sadooo nahi hai......' Smiling affectionately....... 'he asked me to move out cause he wanted to supervise everything himself ...........He is strange yesterday he said he is not attached to this girl she is not even know her well and aaj keh raha tha she is like a sister after all uske dad's ke dost ki beti hai.......funny character i tell you .........kabhi kabhi lagta hai ki woh kisiko apne nasdeek aane hi nahi dena chahata........you know what I mean ...........jaise .......jaise ki  ........ he is scared they will hurt him  ..........

Riddhima: Huh!!!.  .......Riddhima once again was getting uneasy 'Yeh sab meri wajah se hai .......mujhe pe aankh band karke vishwas karta tha aur meine uske saath kya kar diya'

Juhi question brought Riddhima out of her thoughts 'Aree woh file sign kardi........

Riddhima: Hmmm........and handed the file to Juhi.

Juhi: cool toh mein chali Once we settle Purva in I will leave directly is there anything you want to talk before that......???

Riddhima: Nahi.............Haan!!! Have you guys eaten anything in the morning?

Juhi: I don't know about Dr Siddhant I had eaten...........

Riddhima all irritated now: Sid na.......Siddhant ............quickly correcting herself

Juhi: What !!! ...............looking at Riddhima with questioning eyes.........

Riddhima quickly regaining composure : Siddhant ........that's his name ........na .........

Juhi: Haan !!!  still not convinced.............. what was that what happened she thought.

Riddhima: Dr Siddhant aur tumhare liye todha nastah bhijwati hoon ........you will feel better.......

Juhi: Don't send for me I will now quickly rush and grab something to eat and then finish off the rest of the work.

Riddhima: ok .............company chahiye.........She found a good chance to know more about Sid during the break.

Juhi: Haan great kaunsi..........Reliance Tata Ya Birla

Riddhima: meri boring wali

Juhi: Nahi chahiye tu hi rak

Riddhima: Shut up ...........chal ab kuch kha le ........meine bhi kuch nahi khaya subah se..........

Juhi: Kyu ...........vrat rak rahi hai ...........oh sorry sorry you don't believe in God.........

Riddhima: shut up ......actually shifting ke baad mumma ke ghar gayi thi toh saman pick up karne......

Juhi: what ............??? Surprised what shifting was she talking about.......... 'Kaunsi shifting'

Riddhima: realised what she had blurted out ....... 'Mujhe bhook lagi hai chalo.......' trying to avoid the conversation Taking Juhi along she started walking towards the cafeteria.
Juhi: Nah!!! Pehle bata ............... stopping in her tracks.