SR FF continued from Part 40

Part 41

Riddhima checked on Purva to see how she was coping with the surgery. But her concern still remained as to how to get Sid to go home. Once assured that she was fine she assigned a Senior Doctor with the responsibility to monitor her progress. After much thought; she asked the Senior Doctor to report to Sid on Purva's progress. She also asked him inform Sid that his sole responsibility for the shift was to look after Purva. Before packing the doctor off to Sid she also arranged for a taxi and asked the doctor to inform Sid of the same. Now all that she could do is hope that Sid would be assured all is fine and will be taken care off and leave for the day.
Quite happy with the arrangements and Purva's progress finally Sid left for the day. She wondered why it mattered so much to her. They had separated 10 years back yet even today his pain pained her. 'Pata nahi kya hai ki aaj bhi mujhe farak padta hai ...........  aaj bhi tumhari takleef mujhe takleef deti hai............... jaanti hoon aaj mera koi haq nahi banta hai tumpe .......yeh haq toh mein 10 saal pehle hi kho diya hai.......... uss waqt mein kuch nahi kar paayi lekin aaj jo kuch mein kar sakti hoon mein karongi .........aur isliye agar mujhe tumse door rehna pada toh bhi manzoor hai ............. bahoot dard diye hai tumne uski yaad taaza nahi hone doongi............shaayad yehi meri saaza hai ki tum samne ho lekin tumhe mill bhi nahi sakti........... hamare beech woh rista nahi raha par shaayad dosti ka rishta hamesha rahega ............. shaayad issi liye mein aisa mehsoos kar rahi hoon ...........

========================================================================

Next day was the day that Riddhima always dreaded. Padma used to have this havan every year. The initial years Riddhima made desparate attempts to avoid performing the pooja with armaan. Later everyone tried to use it for trying to bring back armaan at least temporarily so that Riddhima could buy some time to fix her marriage. Whenever they succeeded it only invited another round of argument which cause further rift between Riddhima and others. As the pooja took place Riddhima used to sit in her room praying silently for everyone's well being. Though she potrayed being an atheist; her beliefs in religions and rituals were yet very strong. Today was no different. Like always to keep her mother wish she decided to go for the pooja. Riddhima had to set her new house hence was late. She reached towards the end of the pooja. As soon as the pooja was over the family sat down to have lunch. Though Atul had cleared his stand for his harsh words yet Riddhima wanted to keep safe distance from his childrens. As soon as the lunch was over she decided to leave instead of hanging aroung helping around the house and spending time with Ayaan and Arushi

Riddhima: Mumma hospital mein bahoot kaam hai ..............mein aaj jaldi nikhal jaoingi...........

Padma knowing there was no point insisting Riddhima to wait did not protest. 'Theek hai ........par jaane se pehle Juhi ke liye prasad leke jaana...........

Riddhima: Ji mumma ...........

Padma: Khud nikhal ke le legi ya mein nikal ke doo .........

Riddhima: Mein le leti hoon mumma .........

While packing the prasad for Juhi she packed some extra and went to her room to collect her bag to find Atul waiting for her.

Atul: Thank you

Riddhima: Kis liye .............

Atul: Aane ke liye ......

Riddhima: iss mein thank you ki kya baat hai .......

Atul: Toh phir aaj raat yahi kyu nahi ruk jaati ..........

Riddhima: nahi .........theek hai ........ waise bhi meine saara kal almost shift out kar diya hai so ..........

Atul: No problem ........ mein aur anjali le ayenge tumhare ghar se......... tum hospital se directly aa jaana..........
Riddhima: you mean armaan ka ghar...........

Atul: woh tumhara bhi hai ..........

Riddhima: Ab nahi !!!

Atul: Matlab ???

Riddhima: Meine armaan ka chod diya hai .............  Yesterday I shifted out ........

Atul: Toh kaha reh rahi ho ab

Riddhima: I have rented a house .......

Atul: armaan ko bataya .........

Riddhima: Nahi !!! ...........

Atul: Haq banata hai uska yeh janane ka ?

Riddhima: Haq? ...........Right? Sirf haq jatana hai woh ............Sirf uski hoon mein!!! ........... Uski basket!!! ............ Cheez banke reh gayi hoon mein uske liye ........... jisse jab maan kiya istamal kar liye and jab maan kiya chod diya .......... kal tumne hi poocha tha na ki kitne din hum saath rahe hai pechale saal ............. ab mein poochti hoon kitne din woh raha hai yaha pechale 7 saalo mein .........kaha tha woh jab papa ko sanjeevani ko uski zaroorat thi ............ toh phir kaunsa haq ? Jab woh tha yaha toh poora waqt diya hai meine usse ........... jo chahata tha woh kiya ..........phir bhi hamesha kum hi tha .......... aur mein usse batavu ya nahi koi farak padta hai kya usse ? hota yaha toh farak padta na

Atul: yaha kyu nahi rehti ...........ya phir armaan ke ghar waise bhi woh yaha hai bhi nahi ..........kabhi kabaar aata hai ...............naya ghar lene ki kya zaroorat hai ?

Riddhima: ab mein aur waha nahi reh sakti .......... nahi hoga mujhse .......... aur kitne din mein yaha rahoongi ...........tumne theek kaha tha............. mumma papa ko aur pareshani nahi de sakti .......... Papa kahi na kahi aaj bhi khud ko doshi mante hai iss sab ke liye ..............

Atul: Actually you are right .............. Jab Sid gaya tha tab unhe laga tha ki unhone galti ki thi tumhari aur Sid ki shaadi karke .................armaan tumhare liye sahi jeevan saathi hota .........par armaan aur tumhare beech ke problems did take it's toll on him ............. See I don't want to make you feel guilty  but yes ....... kaafi haad tak woh unke bimari karan yahi tha..............

Riddhima: Maloom hai !!! Kya mein yeh nahi jaanti .......... par armaan yeh kabhi samaj na nahi chahata tha.............aur ab mein thak chuki hoon mein Atul aise zindagi se ....................

Atul: age kya ?

Riddhima: Pata nahi ........ par ek request hai please mumma papa aur anjali ko kuch mat batana ...... fisool mein upset ho jayenge ...... especially mumma and papa ............don't worry mein armaan ko batane wali hoon lekin ab nahi .... jab woh Mumbai aa yega tab bataungi........

Atul: Pata nahi armaan kaise react karega?

Riddhima: ek aur bada tamasha hone wala hai tab .........maloom hai ............ shayaad zaroori hai ........... par ab aur nahi sochoongi mein uspe ........... Sid sahi kehta tha ...... 'jaane dena chahiye mujhe itna nahi sochna chahiye tha' tab agar mein woh karti toh aaj hum yaha yeh baate nahi kar rahe hote.............

Atul: Kahi Sid toh nahi hai wajah iski? Atul to question so was prompted purely by the fact that he had seen Riddhima enquiring about Sid at the conference.

Riddhima: Nahi !!!  uss raat jab tune mujhe armaan ke baare mein bataya tab hi meine soch liya tha ki bas ab aur nahi.............. Sid wajah nahi hai.

Riddhima seemed sure and honest about what she was saying and Atul sensed it. Yet he was not sure why was Riddhima looking for Sid then. 'Toh phir Sid ko kyu dhoond rahi thi'

Riddhima did not know whether Atul may believe her or not. Nonetheless she did not feel guilty of what she felt hence told him about her intuition and dream which had provoked her to check for Sid at the conference.
Atul now wondered what Riddhima would have done if Sid was indeed there. He knew whatever that happened 10 years back must have pained Sid and Riddhima meeting him would only freshen those wounds once again. This was definitely an avoidable excercise.

Atul: Mujhe yaad hai ki tum armaan ko mehsoos kar pati thi par Sid bhi ............ anyways he was not there but agar woh hota waha toh?

Atul's mocking comment 'Sid bhi' did not go down well with Riddhima. Yes, Sid and her marriage failed due to her weak moment but why mock her relationship with Sid, what she felt for him. armaan always did that using it to prove his love being superior and now today Atul. Riddhima took a long breath and looked at Atul straight into his eyes. 'Sid yahi hai .............woh kal Sanjeevani aya tha ek surgery ke liye'

Atul: Kya ??? Mili tum???

Riddhima: Haan woh yahi hai .........Dekha meine usse .......par milne nahi gayi.............

Atul: Milne wali hoot um aaj ?

Riddhima: Nahi.

Her voice was calm and sure. She had made her decision. Atul acknowledged her decision with a faint smile.

Riddhima: Chalo mein chalti hoon ............hospital jaana hai  bye

Atul: Bye
===================================================================
Purva was coping well with the surgery. Sid's father was quite pleased when Sid had informed him about the surgery going well and Purva responding well to it. He asked Sid to check on Purva till she was there in the hospital though typically a surgeon's task ends after the surgery.After checking on Purva Sid thought of meeting Juhi to explain the new set of instructions and discuss the further course of action.
Sid and Juhi discussed Purva's case and some other cases which Juhi was working. Juhi once again had to acknowledge that her perception of Sid was quite wrong.

Juhi: Thank you for all the help!!!

Sid: That's ok ......... anytime...........

Juhi: and I am sorry ........

Sid confused as to why Juhi was apologizing: sorry .............???? for what ?

Juhi: I was really very sweet of you ............... Well I never thought you would spare so much time for just solving my queries.

Sid: So is it that with Budhavu you also thought I would be khadoos ?

Juhi smiled sheepishly ............

Sid quite amused with Juhi's attitude.  'That's ok........'

Juhi felt guilty of offending Sid but like always wanted to have the last word .......... ' Well isn't it quite natural ...........you hardly even smile'
Sid accepting it as a matter of fact: 'hmmmmmmmm '

Juhi: See ......... again ........

Sid: Anyways back to the case Purva Shah ............ I will wait around for some more time and check on Purva. After I leave if you need anything here is my number you can call me. I will not be there.

Juhi: Ok .........cool ......... anyways khaana yahi khavoge ............

Sid: Nahi bhook nahi hai .........

Juhi: Oh ........ I forgot US ke log hawa kha ke rehte hai ,,,,,,,,,,,maintain jo karna hota hai ........

Sid: Nahi actually subah breakfast kiya tha............. Oh by the way thanks for yesterday

Juhi: Oh yes............. our mutual thank you club........... chalo mein chalti hoon ........ baad mein mujhe meeting bhi hai ..........

Sid sat in Juhi's office looking through the cases which Juhi was working on while Juhi headed towards the cafeteria to have lunch.

Riddhima reached the hospital and thought of handing over the prasad to Juhi before heading off to her cabin to drop the bag off and start her rounds.  On the way to Juhi's cabin she bumped into her

Riddhima: Juhi ........prasad...........

Juhi: Huh!!! .......oh yes .......aaj havan tha .......cool ...... She eagerly opened the container to have a little of the prasad but for the first time in many years offered Riddhima. Riddhima accepted it gladly. Her face beamed with joy. Juhi was one of the two persons with whom she felt she could just be herself. No pretentions. She thanked Juhi for her thoughtful jesture.

Juhi: You are always welcome............by the way extra prasad  kaise leke aa gayi iss baar.........

Riddhima: Woh socha Dr. Siddhant hai na .......usko bhi de dena ......... mujhe laga woh tumhare saath hi baita hai toh uske liye bhi leke aa gayi.............

Juhi: Toh tum hi de dena ..........abhi cabin mein hi hoga.......

Riddhima: Nahi mujhe kaam hai .........aaj bhi late aayi hoo ........... rounds bhi khatam karne hai ........ tum hi de dena ........... chal me chalti hoon ..........baad mein milte hai ........

Juhi: Theek hai ....bye ....

====================================================================

Sid continued to work on one of the case as he had spare time at hand when someone spoke ' Dr Siddhant  Tumhara irada mujhe job se nikhalva dena toh nahi hai na ...........?'

Sid turned around to check who is making such an absurd allegation to find Juhi standing there with her hand on her hip, looking at him with suspicious eyes.

Sid: What? Are you in your senses? Do you know what you are talking? Completely irritated on hearing such allegations. Why would he do that that too for a job in a place like Sanjeevani. A place which he never wanted to come back to.

Juhi: Nahi seriously ............ at the rate at which you are working my boss will think that I am making you work and I am just wilding my time around............. Plus looking at your work and calibre mera job toh pucca khatre mein aa jayega.........Look I really like my job ............  smiling mischievously and happy that she was successful in pulling a smart one on Sid.

Sid: what kind of a stupid joke that was Juhi......... quickly correcting himself...........I mean Dr Juhi.......

Juhi: Well the title is good ............but ............ Juhi is great ............. I love my name ............So now I can also call you Siddhant.........

Juhi's carefree attitude once again brought a smile on Sid's face. He just nodded to give his acceptance.

Sid: Chalo ....... now that you are assured of your job let me fill you in with my thoughts on this case.

Juhi: Before that ...... yeh lo prasad ............... mere friend ke ghar pe havan tha ..........uska prasad.

Sid got a little uncomfortable. 'Actually mein nahi le sakta'

Juhi: Don't tell me you are also an atheist like my friend.

Sid: Nahi actually .............. I am in mourning so I cannot accept prasad........

Juhi: Oh!!! I am sorry to hear about that. Some close relative or.......
Sid: Someone very dear to me.................  Tears formed in Sid eye's Looking at Sid's condition Juhi felt it was best not to probe further and turned their attention towards case.
Juhi did not probe further for the rest of the day. Sid left early that day.

==========================================================================

As the day was coming to an end for Juhi went to return the container to Riddhima and also check on her as she did not have the time in the entire day to even have a peaceful conversation with her. Riddhima was curious to know if Sid had the prasad so the minute she saw Juhi to threw the question at Juhi

Juhi: Nahi ......

Riddhima upset with the answer : Kyu nahi ??? Kya kaha tumne....???

Juhi: aree baba wait............ Someone passed away and he is in mourning so cannot accept the prasad.

Riddhima alarmed with the news .........Kya? Usne bataya kaun?

Juhi: He said someone dear but I did not probe further. He looked very upset. Par tum kyu itni panchayat kar rahi hoo?

Riddhima got nervous If she was to tell Juhi about Sid then she would question her further as to why she was not meeting him especially because of the conversation they had at her house. Or let Sid know about it which could have worse effect. She surely did not want Sid to be pulled into all this all over again and freshen his wounds. ' Nahi ........ insaniyat ke naate aur kuch nahi '

Juhi: Hmmm .......kaise raha tumhara din ...........

Riddhima: Theek tha .........Juhi kya hum kal baat kare mein soch rahi thi yeh kaam jaldi khatam karke mein jaldi ghar chali jauingi

Juhi was also on her way out so readily took the offer. She was glad that Riddhima was actually planning to leave early, Little did she know that it was just a ploy Riddhima sat in her office wondering who was the person who was dear to Sid and had passed away. Should she call him to offer condolences or should she go and meet him? But will it make him feel better? May be not? How much ever she thought about it the only answer her mind returned was NO Just stay clear from him. Eager to know more She decided to come at her regular time and then try getting Juhi to find more details

Next morning she first went to Juh's cabin ensuring that Sid is not there She entered and greeted Juhi. But was finding it difficult to push Juhi towards finding more information.Finally she gathered courage 'Juhi .........woh Sr. Siddhant kab tak ayenge

Juhi: Woh toh chala gaya!!!


Part 42

Sid reached Shilpa's house to find that Rohan was still at the hostel. Rohan had been living in the hostel since Shilpa discovered about her illness. She did not want him to see her go through the pain. Also age was catching up with Maasi, it was getting increasingly difficult for her to handle all the responsibilities, Shilpa, Rohan and the orphanage. It was tough decision but there seemed no choice.

Maasi informed Sid that Rohan would be back in the evening after school is over. Next day they were to complete the final rituals for Shilpa.

Sid: Kal ke liye kuch karna hai kya ........ Sid still could not come to term with Shilpa's death. Moresoever with the fact Rohan at this age had to do perform the rites himself. He was not there then. But not anymore, he shall never leave Rohan alone.

Maasi: Sab tayari ho chuki hai ........

Sid: Maasi meri Papa se baat hui thi............ hum soch rahe the ..........agar aap theek samjhe toh ki Rohan ko apne saath leke javu.

Maasi: Theek soch rahe ho ......waise bhi yaha rehega toh Shilpa ki yaadein satayegi usse........... meri bhi umar ho chuki .......pata nahi aur kitne din rahongi ...........aur abhi toh uske samne poori zindagi hai .......uske future hai......

Sid: Aisa kyu soch rahe hoo.......... aap bhi hamare saath chaliye ...........

Maasi: Nahi ......... iss umar mein apni mitti chod ke kahi aur jaane ka maan nahi hai .........

Sid: Theek hai Maasi aur Thank you............ aap ne jo kiya hai .....woh toh unke apne bhi nahi kar paaye.............

Maasi: Agar khud ko dosh de rahe ho toh mat dena ............ tumhari koi galati nahi hai............ aur agar Riddhima ke baare mein soch rahe ho toh usse bhi nahi maloom tha aise hame laga tha jab hum usse mile ........ agar usse maloom nahi tha toh usse dosh dene sahi nahi hoga na ............

Sid: Mujhe nahi lagta ki usse maloom nahi hai .......... dus saal mein ek baar bhi armaan ne usse nahi batayi hogi yeh baat ..........mein nahi manta........kyu sochta rehata hoon iss bare mein ......... pata nahi ........ completely frustrated with himself that he could not emotions when he thought about this.

Maasi noticed the change in Sid to divert his mind she asked him to freshen up after which they could do the additional preparations.

========================================================================

Riddhima could not believe her ears or she did not want to believe what she had heard. 'Tumhare kehne ka matlab'

Juhi: Aree his work is done so he left........ why what happened ?

Riddhima took a moment to absorb the information. Not wanting to make things obvious to Juhi; Riddhima quickly excused herself on pretext of some work.
As she walked through the corridors of Sanjeevani her mind was trying to digest the peice of information - Sid left!!! 'It can't be possible; how can Sid leave? Mein sirf ek aur baar dekhna chahati thi........... sirf ek baar uski awaaz sunna chahati thi......... Woh yaha aya lekin mere baare mein poocha tak nahi, ek baar bhi milne nahi aya ..........kya uska bilkul maan nahi kiya............. ' She looked around her. The place was buzzing with the sound of patients and doctors. In midst of this crowd she felt so alone. She quickly rushed to the terrace and cried her heart out sitting in a remote corner.

==========================================================================

Sid stepped out of the shower and stood in front of the mirror combing his hair. His mind was thinking what Maasi had said this morning. His eyes fell on the scar on his chest. Automatically his fingers ran over it. 'Riddhima' The memories which he had kept at bay with so much difficulty come rushing to him. That one night changed the entire course of everyone's life.  'Riddhima................ was she there at Sanjeevani ?............ I should have checked on her........... maybe I could have told her about Shilpa........... it's not possible she does not know ............she may have kept away cause she felt guilty ........... but she would want to be there tomorrow.............. at least once be there for her sister.............. May be I should call her? He closed his eyes for a moment and Rohan face flashed in front of his eyes. How bitterly he had cried? He snapped out of his thoughts. 'Koi zaroorat nahi hai ..... apna samajhti toh bahoot pehle aa gayi hoti ........... ab aayi toh sirf apna 'farz' samaj ke ayegi ........... koi zaroorat nahi hai ............... Na Rohan ko na mujhe !!!

=========================================================================

She did not know for how long she sat. She could not understand. What hurt her more? Sid leaving or Sid not even trying to meet her. Somewhere deep down she wished to meet him, talk to him, if possible comfort him, ease the pain. The pain that she had given him. Stand with him extend her support in that moment of grief. She never deserved him she knew so she always wanted to keep away from him; then and now. But Sid always appreciated her regardless all her flaws and failures. But why did he not do that today? He left without glancing back to see if someone wanted to be with him for just a moment. As if she never existed for him. Mere hone na hone se usse koi farak nahi padta ........... He hates me .............nahi toh aisa nahi ho sakta ki woh aaye aur mujhe ek baar bhi naa mile................Riddhima's thoughts kept trailing trying to reason these turn of events.

=========================================================================
Sid and Maasi finished all the work and then went to Rohan's house to bring him back home and also to check with the principal about the formalities for leaving the school. One thing Sid was sure of is that he was not going to return without Rohan. He discussed his plans with Maasi and Rohan's principal. Finally they came to a conclusion that it would be best that Rohan completes his term in India and then can start fresh in US. This seemed like a good idea as the visa process and admission to the term in US would also take some time. Initially Sid was quite insistant about bringing Rohan back home. He did not want Rohan to feel deprived of parent's love and now that he was now there he could take care of him. But he had to agree with the others that bringing home would mean Rohan re-living those moments everyday. Instead they felt that if he stayed in the hostel his mind would not stray towards those memories. He would be with kids of his age, most of his time occupied with studies and interacting with his batch mates. The principal assured Sid and Maasi that special care would be taken in Rohan's case. In addition Sid could take him home on the weekends. This way his studies would also not be affected. For Sid, Rohan's interests were top most priority hence finally agreed to the arrangement.

After meeting the principal Sid went to pick up Rohan who was at the playground. Rohan was so happy to see that he ran into his arm the minute he saw him.

Rohan introduced his friends to Sid and then sat around talking for sometime. Rohan seemed a little relaxed. Seeing this Sid was please with their decision to let Rohan stay at the hostel. It indeed make sense.
That night before heading off to sleep Sid spoke to his father to inform him about his plans. His father knew that this would mean a couple of months away from work for Sid. But he knew that Rohan needed Sid and Sid could also use a break from everything. They both agreed that it would be in best interests for all that Sid stays back in India to complete all the visa formalities and take care of Rohan. It would also give Sid some time to understand what he wants from life and how to take it forward. Especially now because he was no more alone. He had Rohan's responsibility to shoulder.


Part 43

On Ayaan's and Arushi's insistence Riddhima decided to go home. Since their arrival Riddhima had not spent any time with them. She still could not come to terms with Sid's departure and wanted to stay alone but then thought it would be unfair that she rejects Ayaan and Arushi's wishes.

At the Gupta house everyone sat down for dinner. All were discussing some or other thing about work but Riddhima was remained silent on most topics. No one gave much thought to it except Atul who felt felt there was something amiss. Did something happen between Sid and Riddhima. This thought troubled him.  During the conversation Shashank remembered about the new case.

Shashank: Riddhima .......woh ladki ke liye second opinion lene wale the ....... kya hua ........mein poochna bhool gaya........

Riddhima now nervous about how to tell her father that the person was none other than Sid. 'Papa woh ho gaya' trying to avoid the topic.

Shashank: Kya kiya phir how is the patient?

Atul noticed that Riddhima was completely uncomfortable. He wanted to shift the conversation away from the topic when Riddhima spoke. 'Papa ..... we had to operate on her and now she is coping well'

Shashank: Good ....... So that doctor opinion did help Who performed the surgery Juhi?

Riddhima: Yes Papa ........it did ............ ignoring the question completely

Shashank: Tumne bataya nahi .......surgery kisne ki ?

Riddhima: Woh doctor India mein hi tha ........he came down to do it .........
Shashank: This is what is called destiny ............ you should have called him home for dinner. I would have loved to meet him

Riddhima: Nahi woh surgery ke baad chale gaye ........

Shashank: Waise naam kya tha may be I know him?

Riddhima looked up in shock .........what was she going to tell her father that it was none other than Sid .......... she looked at Atul for a moment who just nodded his head signalling not to avoid the topic.

Riddhima looked back at her father ...... but did not answer

Shashank busy eating his meal just prompted her to answer him........ 'Hmmmm Riddhima'

Riddhima: Papa ........ woh actually I am sorry ..............mein unka naam nahi jaanti ....... woh actually hospital mein kaam bahoot jyada tha isliye Juhi sab handle kar rahi thi............

Shashank: Koi baat nahi .........Juhi se pooch lena ...........

Riddhima nodded in affirmation and looked back at Atul who gave her a reassuring look ....... that all is fine now .............. and then quickly changed to topic to the conference that he was here to attend.

After dinner Riddhima put both the kids to sleep and went for a walk on the terrace. Atul had noticed how lost Riddhima was Hence thought of talking to her.

Atul: Hi yaha upar kaise?

Riddhima: Hi  ............aise hi acha lagta upar raat walk karne ko ...........relaxes you

Atul: True........... Tum theek ho

Riddhima: Hmmmm
Atul: Kya soch rahi thi ...........

Riddhima: Kuch nahi ............. aise hi ........... zindagi aur apne baare mein soch rahi thi.........

Atul: Apne faisle pe soch rahi hoon ..........

Riddhima: Sid kal wapis chala gaya.....

Atul: upset ho ?

Riddhima just nodded her head. Tears forming in her eyes once again.

Atul walked up to Riddhima, turned her to face him. 'Sid tumhara kal tha .......'

Riddhima: Maloom hai ........ aur aaj Sid ke liye mere dil mein aise koi feelings nahi hai ...... trust me...

Atul did not seem convinced but he knew this would not lead to anything. Today she was married to armaan and at standing at that point where she had to decide whether she should walk back into it or away from it. Though she had left armaan's house yet the fact remained that she was still armaan's wife.

Atul: armaan ka kya........?

Riddhima: uska kya ?

Atul: kya karne ka socha hai ........? divorce?

Riddhima: shayaad .........

Atul: job hi karna soch samaj kar karna...... chalo neeche chalte hai...........

Riddhima: tum chalo mein aati hoon............

Riddhima kept pondering on the issue Divorce or No Divorce. This marriage for armaan was what he wanted which he accomplished long time back. But we never connected. We are not even staying together. This relationship seemed one only on paper. But relationships are not what papers define and it they are then do they really matter. So divorce or no divorce how did it matter? 


Part 44

Next day Sid, Rohan and Maasi completed the final rituals for Shilpa. Sid guided Rohan through them all, not leaving his side for even a moment. Sid had to be strong and not let himself be overpowered by his emotions for Rohan's sake. Obtaining official guardianship of Rohan, visa and formalites would require him to go back to Mumbai. Sid and Maasi discussed it through and came to the conclusion that on weekdays Sid can be in Mumbai to complete these formalities till they are over and visit Panchgani over the weekends. That way Rohan would also not feel left out. Maasi and Sid explained to him plans they had finalized on.

Rohan: Aap pucca ayenge na milne?

Sid: Haan pucca promise ...........

Rohan: aur agar nahi aa paya toh ?

Sid: Hmmmm phir tum Mumbai aa jaana .........  hum waha pe masti karenge........

Rohan: Theek hai .......... Bade Papa

Sid: Waise Rohan hum dost hai na ............

Rohan looked confused why Sid was asking such a question.

Sid: Toh yeh bade papa kya laga raka hai......... hamari deal yaad hai na .......... tum mujhe Sid bulavoge ....... toh what say ???

Rohan giving a hi five to Sid 'Deal'

Sid: Chalo ab jaldi se tayar ho javo .....  todi der bahar ghoomne jaate hai ...........

Rohan quickly ran off to get ready. It was nice to see him be himself after a long time.

Sid spent the next few days in Panchgani. On Sunday evening after dropping Rohan back at the hostel Sid left for Mumbai.

Sid spent his day on Monday meeting with the lawyer to get the paper work kick started. After meeting with the lawyer following his father's he thought of visiting Purva to check on her.

=========================================================================

For Riddhima life had continued as before except that now she was a little at ease as she did not dread going back home. The kids left for Delhi with Atul and Anjali so she had a lot of free time at hand. She spent her weekend mostly setting up the house completely and reflecting back on her life, her decision. Monday brought back some thing she liked to do and occupy her mind....her work, her patients.

Her day continued as usual rounds, patients and other administrative tasks. Occasionally she used to drop by the ICU just to check up on Purva's. She knew that Sid would not be there but the fact that Purva was Sid's patient, she felt responsible towards her. 

After one such visit she went to meet Juhi.

Riddhima: Weekend kaise tha?

Juhi: Wahi normal ........... todha ghar ka kaam and then reading up something............ Nothing special.......how about you?

Riddhima: jyada kuch nahi ........... I finished setting up the house. Atul aur di Delhi wapis chale gaye toh kaafi free time bhi tha.............

Juhi: Aur hospital ke chakkar kaate ........

Riddhima: tumhe kaise maloom .........

Juhi: Nurse ne bataya ............ tum Purva ko check karne aayi thi........ how come?

Riddhima: Nahi .........actually aise hi hospital ayi thi .......toh socha Purva pe bhi check kar loo

Juhi: aise kya khaas baat hai ............ Nurse baata rahi thi ki tum ne dedicated Senior Doctor assign kiya uske liye .........

Riddhima: Nahi actually ............ just wanted to make sure all is fine with her and the surgeon could also rest in peace then ..........nothing else

Juhi: aur aaj ..........

Riddhima: what can't I check up on the patients also ? i know she is your patient but any and every patient in this hospital is my responsibility ........

Juhi: Meine aise nahi kaha .........tum baat kaha se kaha leke jaa rahi hoo............. i was just surprised.....

Riddhima: So what are you trying to say that I am not passionate enough about my work ...............

Juhi: you are misunderstanding me ........... i never meant anything of the kind......... forget it lets end this topic.........

Riddhima: chalo mein jaathi hoon ............ mujhe kaam hai ........ bye ...........without waiting for a response Riddhima walked out of the room.

Juhi could not understand what got Riddhima so agitated and more so why was she so concerned about Purva and no other patient.  

Sid was already in the hospital and had finished checking on Purva. She was coping very well. He had a brief chat with Mr Shah to give them a status update and pass on his father's regards to him. As decided he then went on to meet Juhi. She had indeed been great help during and after the operation. Somewhere he had started liking her, he saw the same spark of life in her which he always saw in Shilpa. It was like once again being with Shilpa.

Sid: Hey How are you? I hope I am not disturbing you.

Juhi: Hi !!! No not at all come in .............I am good how are you now?

Sid: Better.........  Had come to check up on Purva so thought of dropping in to say hi to you

Juhi: that's soo thoughtful of you........ you wanna check on her now then lets go

Sid: No no I already did that.......... she is responding very well

Juhi: I know .........thanks to you

Sid: Well no big deal........ it's destiny ...........

Juhi: Actually ......... if you would not be here then maybe it would have been a different story........

Sid: I wish I was here for a different reason though.............

Juhi: I can understand.............. if you don't mind me asking me ..........who was it? Your wife..........

Sid snapped back No!!! .............. I did not realise the intensity of his reaction for a moment. Looking at Juhi startled expression he mellowed down. 'No i didn't mean to snap at you ............. she was not my wife .......... she was my friend...........

Sid answer shocked Juhi even more. If the person who passed away was a friend then why did he say that he was in mourning. The mourning ritual is observed by only family.

Juhi: No i thought it was your wife because you told me the other day that you are here to take your child back. I am sorry.

Sid: No actually I am sorry ......... Yes i am here to take my son back ............Rohan he is my friend's son ............ and now my son ................ after all rishte toh dil se bandte hai na?

Juhi could now understand why she always felt there was a lot of pain in eyes. A person who was mourning for one who was not even family, taking responsibility of a child which was not even his, who in midst of all this took up the task to perform the 9 hour operation just because that person was a family friend She could not fathom how can someone be so selfless. She could see Sid becoming more and more vunerable.

She did feel appropriate to probe further and upset Sid so changed the course of the conversation towards work. They discussed some cases for sometime.


Sid: Chalo chalta hoon mein ........ i have already taken too much of your time. ........ plus I have to shop for some groceries. Now that I am here I need to stock some stuff ...............

Juhi: Oh !!! you have a house here or using one of those service apartments.

Sid: Ya I have a house here.......... we have kept it as Papa aur Mom aate hai yaha pe .............my sister is also in India but not in Mumbai though. Kaafi kuch badal gaya hai Mumbai mein ab .........

Juhi: Oh so you used to stay in Mumbai ........

Sid: Ten years back .......... then I moved to US aur phir kabhi aana nahi hua yaha pe...........

Juhi: Oh cool......... do you know the place well?

Sid: Yes yes .......... itna bhi nahi badla hai .......... i will manage.........

Juhi: You know what .........meri shift thodi der mein khatam ho jayegi ................ may be I can help waise mujhe bhi shopping karni hai ........... But Sid could argue ........ she passed the judgement and sealed the fate. Yes good idea............ give me some time ..........mein sadoo boss ko bye kar aati hoon ........... aaj phukat ka hamara jhagda ho gaya ......... you chill till then ......... 






Part 45

Juhi went to check on Riddhima who was in her office doing some work.

Juhi: Gussa utara........???

Riddhima: Mein kaha gussa thi ?

Juhi: Ok...... toh ab toh tum upset nahi ho ......good..... achaa mein yeh kehne aayi thi ki mein nikal rahi hoon ........... kuch kaam toh nahi hai na ?

Riddhima: Nahi ......kuch hoga toh mein kar loongi............

Juhi: Riddhima ......see abhi bhi gussa ho .......... i did not mean anything of the kind ......... tum kyun galat matlab le rahi hoo .......achaa chalo mein sorry bol deti hoon ...........

True to her nature Riddhima always wanted to have the last word many a times even when Riddhima did realize that she was indeed at fault. Surprisingly only two people had such a effect on her that she gave in and tried to make amends if she knew she was at fault. 'Nahi .......Juhi actually meri galati thi ......... i should not have reacted like this. I am sorry

Juhi: chalo ab yeh sab chodo ........ mein nikalti hoon ..........  

Here Sid was bored sitting in the cabin so he thought of moving into the reception and wait for Juhi. He walked leisurely through the corridors. Letting his mind absorb the surroundings. There was no point of keeping his memories and feelings at bay He had to face them some day Sooner the better.  He went and settled down in the reception when his eyes feel on the pamphlet lying on the table. He picked it up and started browsing through it. It explained the services provided by Sanjeevani and its affiliates. Before he could check the entire phamplet Juhi came and wisked him away for their shopping trip. Juhi knew what it was to loose a dear one. They finished their shopping trip and on Juhi's insistence settled down for a quick dinner at a nearby restaurant.  As time passed Sid found himself comfortable in Juhi's presence.
Sid: The food is good here........... thanks ...........
Juhi: Well I know how men are ......... they will sleep hungry but will not step into the kitchen to cook as far as possible.

Sid: That's not the case always ..............

Juhi: Oh please ......my husband was also the same ........ if I was runnig late he would order but not cook on his own.........

Sid: was???

Juhi: Well he is no more .......he passed away 5 years back........ After his death I moved to Mumbai and have been her since.

Sid: I am sorry to hear that.

Juhi: Well don't be ........... it's what one calls destiny ........ what has to happen has to happen ............ I am happy thinking that he must be happy wherever he is............

That was a profound thought. For Sid it was always Riddhima's happiness which mattered most. He found solace in the fact that she would be happy with the one she loved. She was one whom he had loved the most in his life. But she was also the person who was the reason the pain she had caused Shilpa and him. Shilpa being her sister she never accepted her. When Shilpa wanted her the most she was never there for her. After all, only one person mattered to her i.e. armaan. Anger was mounting ...........

Juhi: Siddhant

Sid quickly snapped back to reality. 'Huh........ yaa quite right.......

Juhi: So you are married ........???  i mean is your wife is fine with Rohan

Sid: I am not married............... actually divorced ............ so have no issues there .............

She wondered what must have been the reason behind this separation. From what she could understand of Sid he was a nice human being very caring and sensitive.He was also a successful in his profession. How can someone not like him? Sid's curt tone put Juhi on gaurd. It was an area best left untouched.Rest of the evening Juhi made sire she does not touch the topic once again.

Next few days Sid remained busy with arrangements during the day. But as evening came he used to feel very lonely. Back home in US he used to have work and some close friends or family with whom he could spend time. However, here being at home was also tortourous to him because of his memories of the time spent with Riddhima haunted him.

To kill time he frequented places which he normally had frequented when he stayed in India or crowded places. On such evening, he decided to go shopping He was going to be here in India for some more weeks hence needed to buy some clothes. At the mall while shopping he bumped into Juhi.

Juhi: Hi Siddhant ......how come you are here?

Sid: definitely not fishing here .........laughig out loud on his own joke............

Juhi: How stupid of me ............ so shopping ..........for yourself or Rohan..........

Sid: Kind off both............ i needed to get some clothes had not carried many when I came here ......... and something for Rohan............

Juhi: What did you get for Rohan ............. ???

Sid: Rohan is interested in tennis so I thought of getting him racquet. Actually I also wanted to buy him some clothes but cannot really understand what to get .......... never shopped for kids ........

Juhi: Want help !!!

Sid: No I am good ................ I don't want to bother you ............

Juhi: No stress at all .......... look I am done with my shopping Had to pick up a gift for my friend's birthday ........ Now I don't have anything else to do I could might as well help you.............. and I love shopping ............
Sid: Well if you can help that will be really great ..............

Sid felt good having someone to talk to in those lonely moments just the way he had Shilpa. After Sue and Shilpa the only girl Sid had gotten comfortable speaking to was Juhi. Though he never held a grudge against Riddhima for what had happened, he still could not get himself to open up to anyother girl even as a friend.

Juhi proved to be great help to Sid. If Sid was to do it alone he would have definitely spent hours not buying anything right. After completing the shopping Juhi invited Sid for dinner. Juhi understood that the shopping was just a facade to keep him occupied. Something more on lines of depression shopping may be. She heart went out for him. She felt his pain of having lost a dear friend and being in foreign land with no one to support him in this grief. After much persuasion Sid agreed to her invitation.

Sid: Toh kaha chale ......... you know this place better so you decide.

Juhi: Pucca chaloge...........

Sid: Haan ..........Pucca................kyu aise konsi jagah hai............

Juhi: Gaadi laye ho?

Sid: Nahi ............actually aaj hi servicing ke liye daali hai ...... soocha ab itne din yaha rehna hai toh might as well use our own car ...........waise phi paade paade karab ho raha hai............

Juhi: Great ........ phir chalo.........

Sid: Par kaha ..............

Juhi: Pataogi toh shayaad tum aayoge nahi .............

Sid: Ok ........very sceptical of what Juhi on mind but thougth of going with the flow.

Juhi had planned to take him home that evening for dinner. As they entered ............
Juhi: Mera ghar......... ab bolo if I had told you earlier would you have come?

Sid looked very uncomfortable with the whole idea. Not so much for himself but about the fact that Juhi did not know him well yet invited him home.  Juhi guessed what might be playing on Sid's mind.
Juhi: I know what you are thinking ........... how come I am calling you home when I don't even know you well................. well itna toh mujhe insaan ki pehchaan hai .............. and if that's not what you are thinking then let me tell you this ............ I am not hitting on you either................

Sid was taken aback by Juhi's comment........... ' No it's nothing of the sort ............. I just didn't that ............. what you said ............ you don't even know me well...........

Juhi: Siddhant ............ it's ok.............. after being a single woman for five years I know these things.........aadmi ki nazaar pechaan sakti hoon mein ......... giving him a reassuring smile that yes she indeed considered him to a 'gentleman'. 'andhar toh aajavo'

They settled down for dinner soon. Sid seemed to enjoy his food.

Juhi: Sorry ............subah ka pakaya khana khila rahi hoon ........... but I am sure it is a better bet than pre-made food that you must be eating at home or take aways.

Sid: No worries this is good............. but how do you know I eat premade food mostly ...........

Juhi: well if you remember we shopped for groceries together the other day ............  all happy about her discovery she had made about him.

Sid was embarrassed. The other day he was defending that all men are not those who don't like cooking but Juhi had caught his lie that day itself.

But he was not going to let go so easily ............... ' But i can cook.........'

Juhi: premade food or ready to eat........... laughing at the way Sid was defending his kind.

Sid: I can make a proper meal

Juhi: Without messing with the ingredients...............

Sid: I had messed once when I invited my wife for a ...................suddenly biting back his words when he realised what he was going to say.

Juhi was busy munching her food and without realising questioned Sid. ............  'invited your wife......... and you messed up the food........... God she must have been so upset.'

Sid was now completely oblivious of what Juhi was speaking. His first dinner date where he had cooked for Riddhima. He had messed with salt and sugar. The food turned out so bad yet Riddhima eat it with a smile. 'No she never appreciated it for what I did for her Woh toh sirf ek samjhuata zhel rahi thi ..........sirf apna farz nibha rahi thi'

Juhi: Siddhant ............tum bhi meri dost ki tarah batakti atma ho ...........  what happened ............. ?

Sid: Nothing ............ your food is good..........

Juhi realised she had untentionally hit on a sensitive point once again and quickly changed the topic. Hmmmm I know that ........... Rishab used to love my cooking ............. and I take pride in it.

Sid: You should ........ this is really good.............

That evening Sid and Juhi slowly and steadily opened up to each other sharing information about their past. Both seemed to have found a friend and confidant in each other in such a short time.



The part in italic are Riddhima's thougths

Part 46
Riddhima and Juhi were having lunch together. Riddhima was oblivious of Sid's meetings with Juhi or his visits to Sanjeevani. Riddhima was still upset that she could not see Sid once before he left.She kept checking on Purva discretly. Somewhere she felt connected to Sid by doing that.

It never crossed Juhi's mind that Riddhima may be interested in knowing about Sid hence she did not mention. Also the other day's arguement was another cause to avoid any mention of Purva and anything related to her.

They were wrapping up their lunch Juhi received Sid's call to check on Purva's status and ........

Sid: waise tum shaam ko kya kar rahi ho........

Juhi: ab tak toh kuch nahi ........... was planning to just sit in front of the idiot box or catch up on some book Kyu pooch rahe hoo?

Sid: Nahi actually aise hi poocha .........  

Juhi: kyu bore ho rahe the.....?

Sid: Actually ......... Sid wondered how Juhi knew ......... 'thought if we could meet up for some time?'

Juhi: Sure ........... 6 pm sounds good ............

Sid: Yeah! Then see you at 6.  I will pick you up from the hospital.

Juhi disconnected the call to be greeted by Riddhima's curious eyes. 'Riddhima need to get off on time this evening? Is there anything you want me to put my head to?
Riddhima: No............ waise kaun tha?

Juhi still unaware of what relation Dr. Siddhant Modi had with Riddhima she casually answered. 'Siddhant'

Riddhima was stunned to hear that Sid was still in town and was meeting up with Juhi after duty hours. But what surprised her more was hearing Sid's name so casually from Juhi. Curiousity was now killing Riddhima, there were thousands of questions hammering her mind. She so wanted know more about Sid. But she knew she needed to be cautious

Riddhima: you mean Dr Siddhant Modi ............?

Juhi: Yes ..............

Riddhima: Tum usse mil rahi hoo?

Juhi: Haan kyu? Nahi mil sakti kya ......

Riddhima: Nahi aisa kuch nahi ............ She was now really upset about the fact that how much ever she wanted she could not do the same.

Riddhima: 'Kaisa hai woh?'  Wanting to know how Sid was doing
Juhi unknowingly took off ..........'God.......... he is really adorable........ itna shy feel kar raha tha pehle when I took him home yesterday............'A mischevious smile played on Juhi's lips remembering how she had tricked Sid and taken him home.

Riddhima was shocked to the core. Juhi did not know Sid at all and yet she took him home or did she hear it incorrectly. 'What??? You took him home???

Juhi: Haan .........for dinner !!!

Riddhima: You hardly know him? .......... an obvious question to shoot up in any person's mind .....

Juhi: aree Siddant ne bhi yahi kaha ............ bichara ........usse meine bataya bhi nahi ki mein usse ghar le jaa rahi hoon.............' very amused with herself...........
'aree bichara........all that he eats is premade and ready to eat foods ...............how many he bought the other day when i took him shopping for groceries .........

Riddhima thoughts were drifting away from the conversation 'Sid hamesha laparvah raha hai khane ko leke aur abhi tak aise hi hai ........' a warm affectionate smile flashed across her face reminiscing the old times ......... '

Juhi: phir uss din bhi hamne bahara dinner kiya phir wapis bahar ka khana khayega isliye  .............ghar leke gayi .............'

Riddhima listening to this snapped back to reality......... ' Uss din bhi yaane .........'

Juhi: Jiss din hum shopping gaye uss din baad mein dinner karne bahar chale gaye ............. yesterday we happened to meet by fluke ........i bumped into him in the shopping mall it was quite late so I took him home for dinner..........

Riddhima curiosity was killing her now. Juhi took him home .........was he alone or .......... Maybe he is alone in India but back home ...............???

Riddhima: 'Woh akela hai ??'

Juhi: Haan  ......... surprised at Riddhima's question .........kaun hoga ?

Riddhima: mera matlab ......... his ........ ? How much ever she wanted she could not get herself to say it. Her heart wanted to deny every possibility or reasoning that her mind was coming up with. At one point of time in their life, Sid's life started and ended at her He lived only for her. Her happiness, her wellbeing her Smile his only objective in life. With much effort she again asked the question with a heavy heart 'I mean he must be married?

Juhi taking the question at facevalue not really reading between the lines or trying to understand Riddhima's motive behind that question plainly answered 'Yes'

Something broke inside her. Why did it pain her? 'He has the right to remain happy He said he would remain happy. I always wanted his happiness that is why I wanted to walk away from him I never deserved him So now when he seeks his happiness with someone else, he is with someone who deserves him why does it pain me? If he with someone else then why is there so much of pain Riddhima closed her eyes for a moment ........his eyes............ She snapped back out I am being selfish but am I really being selfish. Yes I was always selfish and even now I am selfish. He has every right to seek happiness which I could not give him. Sid kitna saaf dil ka hai kitna sacha hai ............... uski ........... kaisi hogi woh ...............kya ussi ki tarah ..........'

Riddhima had completely lost touch with the present, lost in her own thoughts that it never registered when she said....... 'Kaisi hai woh?'

Juhi was completed confused as to whom Riddhima was referring to. ' Kaun??? Kaun kaisi hai ? asked Juhi nudging at Riddhima's hand

Riddhima snapped back to reality ...... ' uski patni'

Juhi: What !!! How am I supposed to know? woh thi nahi waha pe .........aur mujhe kya farak padta hai uski biwi kaisi thi...............par tum kyu itni panchayat kar rahi hoo..............

Riddhima now was on her gaurd. This is the second time Juhi had found her questioning excessive. Quickly trying to do damage control. 'Nahi actually .......... aisi hi ..........

Juhi: Hmm we are meeting this evening also .........

Riddhima seemed to not like the thought of Sid and Juhi meeting. But she could not place a finger on why it bothered her. 'Is it cause Sid is married? Yes' ..................... 'Juhi He is Married!!!'

Juhi: Divorced !!! ..............You know what somehow I feel he does not like staying at home ........ bahene dundhta hai bahar rehne ke ............... Suddenly Juhi seemed to realise what Riddhima's changed tone what hinting towards and was quite amused how Riddhima's mind was working........... 'Riddhima do you think .........................'

That word had hit Riddhima the hardest She was not even listening to what Juhi was saying now.

Juhi was not able to decipher what was going on in her mind She was once again lost in her thoughts. 'Kya hua Riddhima ............ why are you looking so lost.'

Riddhima: Nahi  ..........kuch nahi ..........

Before Juhi could probe further there was an announcement for Juhi to report for an emergency and she rushed out leaving a perturbed Riddhima behind.

Riddhima thoughts kept trailing Was it her or had Sid again suffered a failure in marriage? Either ways it pained her.

Her thoughts did not let be at peace throughout the day She needed to know more so the first opportunity she got she was in Juhi's office trying to steer the conversation towards Sid.

Riddhima: Toh aaj shaam kya karne ki soch rahe ho aap dono?

Juhi: Pata nahi ............ hamara mutual thank club form karenge lagta hai

Riddhima: Kya ???

Juhi: hum ek doosre ko thank you bolte rehte hai ........... toh shaayad woh mere kal ke dinner ke liye mujhe aaj bahar leke jana chahata hai ............ Siddhant itna polite aur cultured hai he has to return my my favour ........see mutual thank you club...........

Riddhima could not help but agree with what Juhi had said about Sid He was indeed a thorough gentleman.

Riddhima: Toh kaha ka plan hai?

Juhi: uske ghar toh nahi ........... i don't want to fall sick ..............  half the men don't know how to cook and mess up the ingredients.........  chance nahi loongi........

Riddhima: Sid ne bhi ek baar ingredients mix kar diye the........... cake mein namak aur soup mein chini dal di thi

Juhi: See I tell men can't cook well ............. tumhe hi khaya ya aur bhi log shikar hua ..........

Riddhima: sirf mein ........Sid ne mujhe uss din dinner date pe bulaya tha

Juhi: Oh lord and he messed it up? You must have been furious ........... you are all so prim and proper

Riddhima: Nahi Juhi ........... smiling affectionately ............ ' mujhe bilkul gussa nahi aya uspe .......... usne job hi kiya tha ............ woh mere liye kiya tha............ toh kya hua ek do ingredients yaha waha ho gaye.......'

Juhi: Tujhe risk lena hai toh jaa .......instead of me you go .............

Riddhima didn't know how to react to this but fortunately Juhi did not realise and continued to talk

Par mujhe lagta hai hum kahi bahaar jayenge ............ like i said I think he does not like being home............. reasons doondta hai bahar rehne ke lagata hai..............

After Sid and Riddhima started living together Sid hated to be away from home. It was his haven where he wanted to spend the maximum amount of time with Riddhima.

Riddhima: Aisa kyu keh rahi hoo ...

Juhi: just felt like it ............ may be memories attached to that place which makes him uncomfortable........or just he does not like being alone.............. yes he does not really seem to like talking much about it ............. hamesha bolte bolte ruk jaata hai ................... I really wonder ..............from what ever I have come to know of him though it's very little; he is a nice person he has a very good vibe ........... He seems to be such a great guy............... But he looks constantly troubled ................
Before she could continue further Sid called to inform her that he is waiting at the gate of Sanjeevani. Juhi quickly wrapped bid Riddhima goodbye and left for the day.
Once again leaving a pensive Riddhima behind.Her fear that she was indeed the reason had come true. 'I am responsible for all the pain and problems in Sid's life jab se uski zindagi mein aayi usse pareshaniyon ke shivay kuch nahi diya meine .. hamesha har dard woh sehta gaya sirf mujhe khush dekhne ke liye lekin mein usse koi khushi nahi de payi Lekin ab aur nahin......... mein uske zindagi mein aur koi pareshani nahi create karongi...........'

But as she saw Juhi leave her desire got better off her. 'Mein usko sirf door se dekhti hoon .........usme toh koi problem nahi hoga ........uss din ki tarah........... pata nahi ab kab usse dekh paoingi
She quickly rushed to the entrance and stood at a distance from the car park looking at Sid pensively.
Sid waited in the car park for Juhi. He did not want to enter Sanjeevani as far as possible. All these days when he had to be there he made sure he avoided any additional interaction or wandering fearing bumping into people whom left him many years back. He did not want to go that way.
Juhi at her usual chirpy best 'Toh kya plan hai ........... forming our mutual thank you club.............. should we?'

Sid: What?

Juhi: Haan........ kal ke dinner ke liye thank you bolna hai na ............. aur favour return bhi karna hai ......... toh ek doosre ko thank you welcome bolte hua club hi form kar dete hai .........
Sid: Kuch bhi??? Lauging out loud...........  'You are impossible ........... tum kaha ki cheez kaha le jaa rahi hoo'

Juhi: So tum mujhe aise hi milne aaye ho.........???

Sid: Actually I thought I would take you out for dinner tonight ..........

Juhi: See I told you ............

Sid: Aree.......... kya mein tumhe dinner ke liye invite bhi nahi kar sakta........

Juhi: Sure ......... toh kaha chalenge .............   

Sid: You suggest a good restaurant ..............

Juhi: hey bhagwan yeh kaam bhi mein karoo.........  as if she was shouldering everyone's responsibility and one more was added to her kitty.

Sid was very amused with Juhi. 'Ek kaan karte hai .........pehle yaha se nikhalte hai .........aur itne jaldi toh tum khana nahi khaogi toh aaram se decide kare............'

Juhi: Sounds like a plan ............ chalo ............

Riddhima was observing how changed Sid looked today. Relaxed, at ease. She felt at peace looking at his smiling angelic face just like old times. She stood there till the car was out of her sight. 'kush lag raha tha aaj............ bahoot achaa laga usse aise dekh kar ........ woh khush rahe wohi mere liye bahdoot hai ........'


Part 47

It was very early for dinner so Sid and Juhi went to a park nearby for a walk. Both were enjoying the peaceful surroundings.  
Sid: You feel so relaxed and peaceful here.
Juhi: 'Hmmmm you know ............jab bhi mera mann karab hota hai tab mein yaha aati hoon......... ghanto yaha pe baiti hoon ...........

Sid: logo ko dekte huye na??

Juhi: hmmm .............. tum bhi ??

Sid: hmmmm ............ back in Houston ..............hmmm

Juhi: Kaise hote hai na ............koi yaha aate hai apni sehat banane toh koi apne muskhilo sur parashani se door kuch pal sukun ka gujaarne ke liye aur koi sirf apno ke saath kuch waqt bitane ke behane se...........jaise ki woh aunty aur uncle waha pe...........pointing to a couple in their 50's holding each other's hand and strolling ............sochti hoon kaisi hoti hai zindagi.........

Sid: har ek ki ek apni daastan...........todhi si khushi todha sa gham

Juhi: kuch muskhile aur unke kuch jawab........... lekin har kisi ke zindagi mein kuch aisa hota hai jo woh chahate toh kabhi na hone dete.........

They settled down on a bench overlooking a kid's play area.

Sid: hmmm ............jaise Rishab ki .................

Juhi: hmm kabhi socha tha ki uss aunty uncle ki tarah hum bhi kabhi aise hi park mein ek doosre ka haath pakad kar chalenge ............... reflecting back on the happy moments in our life..............par destiny had a different plan altogether for us.........

Sid: you loved him a lot na ?

Juhi: hmmmmmmm........... Hum college mein mile.........kab serious ho gaye pata hi nahi chala............. sab ke marzi ke khilaf humne shaadi ki thi .......... kabhi kabhi lagta hai issilye hamara saath jyada din nahi raha .............

Sid: Kya hua tha? I mean how did Rishab.................

Juhi: He was an avid mountaineer On one of the expeditions in the Northeast he ...........' Juhi was choking on her own words. Mild sobs escaped.

Seeing Juhi like this hurt Sid very much, he knew how it was to lose a dear one. After Vishal's death Shilpa also took a lot of time to recover. Bur she had everyone's support but for Juhi it was a solitarty struggle. Sid wanted to console her but did not know how. He feared she should not misunderstand her. After a long time, he had found a good friend and did not want to loose her. Finally he hesitantly put his hand on her hand and gave it a light squeeze. 'Juhi ..........shhhhhh...' She looked up to meet Sid's tearful eyes. 'ro lo ........... you seem to have been holding them back for many days' She knew he understood her loss her pain. She felt reassured that there was someone who did. She did not to feel uncomfortable by Sid's touch. Looking at his tearful eyes she broke down crying. She needed to let go of all the bottled up emotions. Sid withdrew his hand from her's and once again hesitantly placed it around her shoulder gathered her a little closer. She rested her head on his shoulder as he patted her head lightly. They sat there for sometime quietly. Juhi felt at ease.

As Juhi sobered down she continued. 'Rishab ke maut ke baad kaafi bemayne lagne lagi thi zindagi . Uske parents mujhe apnate nahi aur apne ghar lautna na mumkin tha............ Sanjeevani mein kaam karne ka mauka mila ...........toh phir mein Mumbai chali ayi  ............ waha rehti toh uski yaadein mujhe har waqt saatati rehti .........


Seeing Juhi not so vunerable Sid withdrew his hand and started toying with his cellphone. Noticing this change in Sid  'Tum bhi ......shayaad issi wajah se ghar pe nahi rehte na ...........'

Sid: un yaadein ko un feelings ko bahoot pehle dafan kar diya hai meine ......... unke baare mein wapis sochna nahi chahata......... aaj meri zindagi bahoot alag hai .............aur uss raste nahi jaana chahata......... un yadoon se judeh cheezo se door rehna chahata hoon

Juhi: Par yaadein toh rahegi .............hamesha ........... yahi samaj nahi paate hum............ mein waha se chali toh ayi par aaj bhi Rishab ki yaadein mere saath hai........  kyon bhagte rehte hai hum un yaadon se pata nahi............

Sid: Shayaad tum theek keh rahi hoo.............. zindagi aage chalti hai..........aur waqt ke saath hum nayi yaadein banane lete hai ......... mein jab yaha se Houston wapis gaya toh laga ki mein uski yaadon ke sahere jee longa ...... par ab maloom hai ki .......un yaadon pe jaami dhool ko haatene se nahi hi woh waqt wapis ayega hai nahi woh log ........... sirf ek dard ka ehsaas hoga...........aur waise bhi aaj meri zindagi ka maksad kuch aur hi hai ............ aur woh bhi kahi khush hogi uske apno ke saath............

Juhi: Jaise Rishab kush hoga uske naye logo ke saath...........  smiling affectionately thinking how Rishab would be now

Sid: waise ........woh ab chota bacha hoga ..........

Juhi couldn't help but laugh at Sid's comment. 'Yes......... char panch saal ka hoga woh'

Just then a kid came running towards them seeking his ball. Sid: Shayaad iss baache ke tarah' He picked up the ball and gave it to the small child 'Aap kya khel rahe ho' asking the small child.

Child: Cricket

Sid: Kya mein aap ke saath khel sakta hoon?

Child: Haan uncle........

Sid: Chalo phir par mein aap ki team mein kheloonga ..............

The child cheered and ran to the playgroud. Sid turned towards Juhi 'Tum bhi khelogi .......... ?'

Juhi: Nahi ............. I am good .............. sab khelenge toh audience mein khon rahega ..............?

Sid: Yeh bhi sahi hai .........but you have to cheer for us.............

Juhi: Done !!! smiling at Sid's childlike behaviour.

Sid went and played with the small children for sometime while Juhi sat there watching them. Later that evening they went out for a quiet dinner. Sid nor Juhi spoke further about their past lives.


Riddhima here was curious to know what happened the previous day. She wanted to know more about Sid. Her curiosity finally overpowered her reasoning of restraining from any further probing. As she sat in her living room she finally decided to call Juhi and check if they could meet. She planned to quietly probe about Sid when they met.


Riddhima: Hi Juhi ......... kaisi ho?


Juhi: Kal mili thi na ? Theek thi na toh aaj mujhe kya hone wala hai mujhe........


Riddhima: aree mera yeh matlab nahi tha?


Juhi: Don't worry tumhe aur bahoot saal jhelna padega mujhe ...........


Riddhima: Juhi........ shut up ............ don't say anything of this kind............ you will live a 100 years


Juhi: Oh my God yane 100 saal mujhe tumhe jhelna padega........... Hai Ram bachavo.........


Riddhima: You are useless............ waise aaj jhel lo mujhe ........wanna meet...........???


Juhi: Oh Lord !!! pehle bolna tha...........we could have met up in the afternoon ........ now I already have plans.............


Riddhima: Aaj bhi Sid.......dhant...... ko milne wali hoo..............


Juhi suspicious of Riddhima's tone so answered affirmatively though she was not going to meet him.


Riddhima: Ohh ok ............dissapointed that she could not meet Juhi which meant that she would not be able to rest in peace. She wanted to know more. But then thought of just chatting with her about him on the phone itself. 'So kal kiya ............ apna mutual .............'


Juhi: Thank you club na ............ yes form kiya na ......... The Siddhant Juhi Thank you club........Dinner pe leke gaya woh mujhe........ I was safe ...........didn't have to eat disastorous food.


Riddhima: 6 baaje dinner.....???


Juhi: Nahi baba ........... we went to the park first.......... for a stroll first. We were there for a very long time talking.


The word caught her attention 'Talking' and she quickly threw the question at Juhi. Riddhima: kya baate ho rahi thi?'


Juhi: kuch nahi kal park mein thi tab hamesha ki tarah Rishab ki bahoot yaad aa rahi thi ............. ussi ke baare mein baat kar rahe the...........' she started recollecting her events of the previous evening 'You know what ..........kal jab Siddhant muhje dilasa de raha tha tab mujhe ajeeb nahi laga......... you know there many a times when men show compassion but their motive is something else.............you know what I mean right..........

Riddhima: hmmm .......

But in Siddhant's case it fett very different .......nice ...........there was this genuineness. Jaise ki koi hai jo mujhe samjta hai mere dukh ko .........na ki sirf samjhne ka natak kar raha hao ..............

Riddhima did not feel so upset about Sid and Juhi's meetings as she felt about how rapidly they were growing close. Their proximity was it an issue. 'Nahi ........ woh toh sirf usse console kar raha tha....... hamesha se Sid bahoot sensitive raha hai ........woh apne dosto ka dukh bardaast nahi kar sakta aur kal bhi waise hi hua Sid aur Juhi ache dost ban gaye hai ..............sirf ache dost .............. mein Sid ko janti hoon ........woh kabhi bhi kisi ka fayada nahi uthata........'

Riddhima could relate to what Juhi was saying She felt proud Proud to know him Proud that she was his wife at one point of time in her life. 'Par Juhi kya woh bhi usse sirf ek dost ki hesiyat se dekh rahi hai ............. haan ...............woh ek achi ladki hai ......... '

Juhi: His heart seems to be as pure and innocent as a child. Aree after the stroll he was playing with the kids in the park. He is fun with kids. Oh God you should have seen he was a riot ............. ekdum bachaa hai ......... todhi der ke liye irritate hua mujhe .........aisa laga ki woh mere saath nahi un baacho ke saath aya tha park mein .............. uske khud ke baache hote toh woh toh unko puri tarah se bigad ke rak deta ...........


Riddhima: Dil se aaj bhi bacha hai ............ reminiscing the times spent at Sanjeevani orphanage How the kids took an immediate liking towards him and how affectionate and protective he was about Tammana.

Riddhima coming out of her thoughts: 'Toh kya kal bhi dinner ke liye tum usse ghar leke gayi?'

Juhi: Nahi ..........bahar gaye...........

Riddhima: Aur aaj............??

Juhi: Aree nahi baba ...........i am meeting Reshma uska birthday hai na toh uske ghar pe party hai.....

Riddhima: So you are taking him with you?

Juhi: aree .........kyun ...........woh usse janta bhi nahi hai ............ usko kyun leke jaoingi .........and anyways he is out of town for the weekend............

Riddhima wondered where he must have gone. She was about to ask Juhi but .......

Juhi: Oh lord .......mujhe der ho jayegi ab .........chalo Riddhima I shall talk to you tomorrow ............ Reshma ko help karne jaldi jaana hai ...........

Riddhima: Ok bye ..........

The question remained unanswered where Sid was for the weekend and if he was going to come back or not. But she knew she had to wait. Next couple of days work kept Riddhima very busy that she did not get a chance to meet Juhi. Riddhima thought it was good in a way this way she was giving it all sometime. She did not want to make things obvious and God forbid if Juhi mentioned about her to Sid then she did not know how Sid would react. And here Sid's meetings with Juhi continued. While what Riddhima was dreading happened

Riddhima: tum ???


Hi All
Life always brings up the unexpected and hence the unexpected turn in Riddhima's life. Here is the next update much to everyone's disappointment would see armaan's entry. But please read on I am sure many may like it.
I know I am a real disgusting person I never reply to anyone's comments nor am I fulfilling the demands but yes soon it shall happen real soon Next update tonight itself .......I will not make you guys wait
I will definitely try to reply to comments soon also
BUT regarding this update you HAVE to post a comment if you read this update SOOO COMMENT KAROOOOOO NAHI TOH UPDATE NAHI KARUNGA

Part 48

She stood in her own office feeling alienated. Frozen in the man's arms. After a while the man broke his hug and looked at woman standing in front of him. 'Surprized you!!! I knew it. Basket Oye Hoye!!! Kaise dik rahi hoo ...........jaise koi bhoot dekh liya hai .............

Just as he again going to pull her closer a doctor knocked on the door and walked in.

Doctor: Dr Riddhima.....

Riddhima came out of her daze 'huh' still shaken .........

armaan: arre yaar itne dino baad Riddhima has met the love of her life and you guys just don't give her a break

Riddhima could not think straight. But the arrogance of armaan's words was hitting her hard.

Doctor: ohhh sorry ...........turned back to give the two privacy. Her mind was working overtime. This was most unexpected. Riddhima needed sometime to collect her thoughts for that she knew she had to get away right now from there Riddhima was quick to stop him 'Dr. Abhay aap woh case papers laye hai ..........aap bahar rukhiye mein aati hoon 1 min mein aati hoon........'

Dr. Abhay: 'But maam woh ............

Riddhima sternly ordered: Dr Abhay aap chaliye mein 1 min mein aati hoon

The doctor scared to say anything further so quickly left. She quickly turned to armaan to say something but armaan once again engulfed her in his embrace 'My God ........... you got so irritated with him ......... i know even I was ......'

Riddhima asked nervously: tum yaha kaise?

armaan: sirf tumhare liye .........

Riddhima: kya ??? once again astonished at armaan's answer A man who did not bother to meet her for so months together claimed to be here just for her. But somehow she did not even feel like reasoning about it

armaan: Yes ............ i here only for you.........

Riddhima: armaan ........' trying to wriggle out of his embrace 'I need to finish my work ........tum ek kaam karo tum yahi ruko ......... She know if she spoke now then a showdown definite and she did not want the hospital to be an audience to it 'nahi tum ek kaam tum mera terrace pe intezar karo ........... mein kaam niptakar aati hoon'

armaan: Hmmmm terrace ...........cool ......... koi hame waha disturb nahi karega.......... Very happy hearing Riddhima's eagerness to meet him in private He let go of her and grinned away to glory. He had thought that there would be another round of arguments but was surprised to see Riddhima's eagarness to meet him.

Riddhima quickly left to meet Dr Abhay who was waiting for her outside.

Dr. Abhay: Ma'am aapne toh reports already check kar liye hai...........? confused as to why Riddhima wanted to check the reports again

Riddhima: Maloom hai ............. actually wapis dekhne hai ......... not wanting to make it obvious that she had used this as a excuse to move out. She quickly took the reports and started walking towards the ward with Dr Abhay in tow. Pretending to scan the reports 'Ya they look fine........... just discharge this patient.......Thanks ..........' She handed the file quickly to the Dr Abhay and turned to enter the fire escape. She really needed to collect her thoughts and think of a plan of action. She knew without which she was heading for a disaster. She had to focus her mind 'armaan yaha hai ...... kaise......... kya woh ghar gaya tha..........shayaad nahi ..........nahi toh itna normal nahi hota.......par agar meine usse bataya toh kaise react karega.........poore hospital ke samne tamasha nahi hona chahiye........acha kiya ......usse terrace pe bula liya lekin kya theek hoga usse yeh yaha batana ....... agar ghar gayi toh woh mujhe wapis jaane nahi dega.............aur agar woh ghar akele gaya toh usse pata chal jayega......... phir wapis hospital na aa jaye ..........wapis sab ke samne ........ mein uske saath ghar chali jaati hoon
But the thought itself disgusted her. armaan ke saath uske ghar pe? How much ever she hated the idea she had to do it She knew it She had not other option to save the situation. She calmed her mind down and walked out to fire escape as she walked up to the terrace.

She entered the terrace to see armaan with a wide smile on his face. A smile of victory. He slowly walked towards her. 'Mein janata tha .......tum bahoot besabar hogi mujhse milne........par itna yeh nahi janta tha .........basket meri yaadein tumhe satati hai ki tum ab ghar pe nahi reh pati ........ I know it is difficult to stay there when I am not around........' His each word filled with arrogance. How can someone be so ignorant about her feelings she thought. armaan slid his arm around her waist pulled her towards him and held her close to his body 'So basket .......just wrap up your work and lets go home.......... i am want to spend as much as time as I can with you .........make the most of the two days that I am here ........... I know very short but promise I shall make it memorable basket'

She felt as if someone had slapped her Her ears were ringing 'as long as you are there you are his it does not matter.............' As armaan said that he bent down to kiss her and Riddhima snapped. With a strong jerk she freed herself out of armaan's hold. 'Don't even try .......armaan........ Tumhe kya laga mein bahoot kush hoon tumhe yaha dekh ke .. Nahi ........... na mein kabhi thi na mein aaj hoon...........' armaan totally surprised with her stance but knew that she had a right to be angry with him. They had not met for so many months. He thought he should make amends and again started closing in on her 'Stop right there ........armaan mere paas bhi mat aana .............you disgust me'

armaan was totally stunned by Riddhima's reaction Yes she should be angry with him but how can she say that after all these years of togetherness that they shared: aaj mera tumhare paas ana disgusting hai ............ kyu ...... itne saalo tak nahi laga aur aaj jab hum saath rahe ...........

Riddhima: saath .......... kab the tum mere saath ........?

armaan: now please don't start on all the stuff....... meine tumhe pehle hi kaha tha....... mere saath chalo ...... you can work at any hospital there.......... par nahi tumhe yahi rehna tha....... aur ab jab mein ayaa hoon tab tumhe jhada karne ke alava kuch nahi sooj raha .......... please stop it ......... let's just spend these few days peacefully with each other........

Riddhima: kyu aye ho armaan? ........ oh yes !!! mere liye ............mocking armaan's earlier statement.. Tum mere liye nahi khud ke liye aye hoo .......... tum agar mere baare mein kabhi bhi sochte toh tum woh sab nahi karte jo tumhe kiya ..............

armaan: Oh yes !!! sirf meri galati hai....... hamesha se sirf meri galati rahi hai .......... meri galati hai ki mujhe acha mauka mila mera passion ko mera profession banane ka ........ meri galati hai na ki yaha nahi ruka frustrate hone ke liye tumhari tarah ............hazaar baar bola meine ki chalo mere saath par nahi .......tumhe yahi rehna tha ...........yeh bhi meri galati hai ..............tum toh kabhi kuch galat nahi kar sakti

Riddhima: armaan ............tumse baat karna fisool hai ........seriously just leave...........

armaan was on a tour with for some concert wherein he was the lead guitarist. He had barely managed to take a two day break to be with her and Riddhima was reacting in such a fashion. When he reached home he had found the house unkept and Riddhima's belongings missing. But he thought that she was staying at her parent's place as his memories and loneliness bothers her hence her stuff was missing. armaan was completely annoyed that all his efforts of taking a two day break were going to be wasted in arguements. But he knew his charm always worked wonders.

Once again armaan started closing in on Riddhima: Riddhima meine kisi ko sacche dil se pyaar kiya hai toh woh tum ho..........todha sa pagal hoon ............tumhare pyar mein .......... kyu tum hamesha mere saath jhada karti hoon ........chalo theek hai .......... mein hi sorry bol deta hoon............ as armaan took a step towards her she was backing away from him. armaan's charm had stopped having an effect on Riddhima long time back. All that followed earlier were just pretences from Riddhima's side but today that too seemed impossible for her. ' armaan kitni cheezo ke liye sorry bologe...........rage was building up.

armaan: Riddhima mein jo bhi karta hoon tumhare liye karta hoon..............

Mere liye ??? Riddhima screamed. 'Atul ko uss raat ke baare mein jo bataya ........woh bhi mere liye.......aaj mein atul se nazare nahi mila paa rahi hoon ............  how could you .........??? tumne promise kiya tha ......ki kabhi uss raat ki baat kisi se nahi karoge.......  na kabhi tumhe meri parvah thi na ab hai .........

armaan realised what he had said in his drunken stupor was finally known to Riddhima but what he had said was not wrong: come on Riddhima ......itni poorani baat leke kyu bait gayi ho........... aur waise bhi kya galat kaha meine ...........

Riddhima was completely appalled by the audacity of the man standing in front of her. 'Just leave armaan ...........mujhe tumse kuch baat nahi karni hai .......... '

armaan: you know what Riddhima............uss raat jo bhi hua aur uske baad bhi ....only proves that you could never live without me........... tab bhi tum yahi kehti rahi ki move on, leave, tumhe koi farak nahi padta......... armaan's proximity was unnerving Riddhima. To block him she raised her to push him back. But his reflexes proved fasted. He quickly twisted her arm and pinned her against the wall. 'Tumhe aaj bhi farak padta hai' ...........toh itna naatak kyu.....'
Riddhima was struggling to free himself off his hold. 'Chodo mujhe armaan.........leave me'
armaan: phir se naatak ............ bola na meine maaf kar do ..........ab aa gaya hoon na .......toh kyu basket itna gussa......'

'Get your hands off me armaan ......... right now ........ ' the rage in Riddhima's eyes unsettled armaan for a moment. Riddhima quickly pushed armaan off her

Riddhima: enough armaan enough ..........bahoot ho gaya ..........har ek wada ka har ek rishte ka apmaan kiya hai tumne ...........bus ab aur nahi ............ just leave armaan..............

armaan was very amused by Riddhima stance now. A girl who always asked him to stay away ultimately landed up getting intimate with him and proposing marriage to her Today again she was asking him to leave: Fine mein chala jaata hoon ......... hamesha mein tumhare pyar se samjhane ki koshish karta hoon aur tumhe lagta hai mein tumhare pyar ki bheek mang raha hoon ........aur phir tum aa jaati hoon mere peeche ............. 10 saal pehle bhi wahi hua and ab bhi wahi hoga ....... Har baar tum laut ke mere paas ayi hoo .......... aur iss baar bhi tum wapis mere paas aogi ......... He turned and started walking toward the exit.

Riddhima just laughed at this: tumhe kya lagta hai armaan tum apne wahi purane tareeko se mera attention le paoge............

He turned back to look at her. 'Mujhe zaroorat bhi nahi hai .............  hamesha tumhe meri zaroorat thi meri ........... isliye har baar jab mein gaya hoon tumhe chod ke tum mere peeche ayi hoo............. anyways jab ghar laut aogi tab mujhe phone kar lena ............. He smirked as if he had pronounced the judgement and had sealed the case and walked away from there.

Riddhima stood there in silence looking at the man walking away. She had not planned this and definitely not this way. But she knew she did no wrong. Sooner or later it would be known to armaan and maybe all. She did not feel anything. Nor happiness not even remorse. She knew that one chapter of her life was coming to an end.


Firstly Miss Cullens and everyone all my friends out there I am sorry I could not stand true to my word Sorry (*Holding my ears*) I could not update last night
I fell asleep writing last night Sorry............but Here it is a very long update and aur bhi interesting update is on its way soon ..............super soon ...............
And also Thank you ........... and Sorry ....... I stole your idea of putting a link of the next update in the previous update........... copyrighted tha ....... nahi nah........ nahi toh pucca you are going to sue me for that.........But that a great idea Miss Cullens........ Thank you .........
But I am very upset with you all who have read but not commented I went through so much pain trying to write that update ......... and you do this to me  ........ But whoever commented THANK YOU SOOOOOOOO MUCH........... and who have not go first comment and then read this update........ PLEASE ...............

Part 49

Riddhima feared armaan would definitely create some ruckus to ensure that he gets the attention. She knew that armaan did not know about her new house so the first obvious destination would be Gupta house.  To avoid any further problems Riddhima took her time off from work for a few days and went to stay at Gupta house.

The thought of having broken the news to armaan did not bother her so much. What seemed to bother her more is that he had not reacted. Was this the silence before the storm? Should she tell her parents instead of it coming as a shock? What should she do? She indeed was here home to ensure that she prevents armaan creating a scene But what if he goes to the hospital? These thoughts were not letting her rest peacefully.

The following few days she she stayed home on some pretext or the other. Shashank and Padma did not find her stay wierd but her absence from work was definitely bothering them. This was very unlike her. But considering the thought that she just may have thought of taking a break stopped them from probing further. armaan had not tried any stunts this rounds nor had he tried to contact her. This time he knew he needed to keep a low profile as he wanted to make Riddhima feel neglected and ignored. Little did he know that this time his tactic was not going to work. No one knew about armaan's visit except one ' Juhi.

When Riddhima told Juhi about the whole incident Juhi had only one question for Riddhima. Why not tell her parents the truth? Today she may be avoiding them trouble by not telling them But if they come to know of it later then what? But Riddhima felt that what Atul said held a lot of weight. Why stress them out in this age? They did not deserve it. Juhi did agree with Riddhima on that point but ultimately all would know. At some point of time the obvious next step would be taken by either. Divorce!!!.......

Riddhima: Juhi pata nahi ........abhi tak socha hi nahi uss bare mein .......aur waise bhi yeh rishta bahoot pehle khatam ho gaya tha....... ya shayaad kabhi tha hi nahi ........ aur kagaaz ke sahare bane rishte ......... unka hona na hona koi mayane nahi rakta........ akir woh sirf kagaz pe hi reh jaata hai ..............
Juhi did agree with Riddhima but ultimately that also mattered. But understanding Riddhima's condition she did not discuss this topic further with her. She knew Riddhima needed time to think things through in order to ensure all went well. This would be a big step .............telling her parents and yes the ultimate ......Divorce if at all.

For Riddhima things seemed to go well. After a week's break she finally rejoined duty. Her daily routine once again started falling into place.

Here Sid's work in Mumbai was moving smoothly. He was due to visit the consulate for some work. Hence, was very crispy dressed completely formal with a tie But before he went to the consulate he decided to pay a visit to Sanjeevani to check on Purva who was due to be discharged in couple of weeks and meet Juhi to inform her that he would going out of town. The following week he was not required to be in Mumbai hence he decided to spend time with Sue and Yuvi. Sue and Yuvi lived in Chennai after marriage. Since the time he had come to India he did not have a chance to meet them so was planning a trip to Chennai. He completed checking on Purva and went on to meet Juhi in her office.
Riddhima was passing by Juhi's office when she saw Sid coming from the opposite direction. She froze for moment. The moment she had avoided was here. Sid was right in front of her. He seemed to be at ease today. His eyes yet again did not bother her so much. He was talking to the doctor who was in-charge of Purva's case. She so wanted to but she knew she should not meet him. She did not want to spoil the peace that was prevalent in Sid's life at the moment. She quickly ducked into the first available empty room. She wondered if Sid did see her or not. She stayed put at the spot. Sid in his own thoughts walked pass by the room and entered Juhi's office. After sometime Riddhima peeked out to check if the coast was clear. But could not help herself but stare in the direction of Juhi's office. Sid was standing there talking to Juhi. He looked the same yet so different. The same angelic innocent look yet so mature Crisply dressed in a two peice suit as against his shirt with sleeves folder upto the elbows. She stood there looking at him affectionately. How time had changed this man she thought. How come she never seemed to notice this earlier? His eyes looked definitely very calm. She felt happy looking at him relaxed today.

Juhi: kya aaj ekdum suit boot mein ho .............. manjara kya hai ??

Sid: Kuch nahi ...........Rohan ke visa ke kaam se consulate jaana hai isliye aur kuch nahi ..........

Riddhima still rooted to her spot watching Sid and Juhi intently: Sid aaj yaha kya kar raha hai ........woh bhi itni formally dressed ......... kya usne kahi consultancy toh nahi ki........... the thought scared her what if it was Sanjeevani itself but then dismissed the idea ...........Nahi mujhe circular aya hota phir.

Juhi: Ok ........ mujhe laga finally ..........tumne meri baat maan li aur kahi join kar liya .......

Sid laughing: No baba anyways I still have lots of paper work to complete and I am quite enjoying this break ... Soch raha tha ki Sue aur Yuvi .......my sister and her husband unhe visit karo ........they stay in Chennai ............Kal jaane ki soch raha tha .......... so  thought I will meet you before that............

Juhi: That's cool ..........chalo that means we meet next week.............. looked very disappointed

Riddhima: Yeh Juhi itni disappointed kyu lag rahi hai ...........kya Sid jaa raha hai wapis ......... thought pained her. Though she could not meet him atleast she could see him. ............ Juhi ko kyu farak padega agar Sid wapis jaa raha hai toh hardly kuch dino ki dosti hai .............


Before Sid could answer and Riddhima could continue reasoning why Juhi was disappointed there was an announcement for Juhi to report to the ICU immediately.

She looked at Sid ...........Chalo me going .........

Sid: Bye ....... take care .........

Juhi grabbed her stetescope and was going to rush out when she waited in front of Sid. Adjusted his tie. 'You really don't wear these much do you?'

Sid: I kind of hate them..........smiling shyly ........ The only other lady who did this to him was Riddhima he felt a little awkward

Riddhima stood there watching Sid smiling shyly. 'Does he like her? Does she like him?  He is still unmarried and Juhi a widow. Both have a right to find happiness. Togetherness but then is it that? Are they seeing each ............?

Juhi: You take care of yourself........

Sid: you too ......

Juhi turned to walk out when Sid called her..... 'Juhi ...........will miss you ........'

Juhi warmly smiled at Sid: Me too.......... bye

Sid: Bye......

Over the weeks Riddhima knew that these two had been meeting regularly and Juhi used to very casually refer to Sid. She could not deny the fact that Juhi herself had mentioned that she feels more comfortable with Sid. But what she had seen now shocked her further. This was very unlikely of Juhi, she never behaved so casually with collegues. Yes she used to laugh and joke around She definitely was friendly but somehow this definitely seemed different.  Soon after Sid also moved out of Juhi's office. As he walked past the room Riddhima once again ducked inside the room to avoid being seen.

The thought seemed to trouble her. 'Kya rista hai Sid aur Juhi ke beech? Kya woh sirf dost hai ya kuch aur. Riddhima wanted to probe on that matter with Juhi but did not find it appropriate enough hence restrained herself. She knew she may land up giving away somethings which she did not want Juhi to know.
Sid unaware of Riddhima's presence and her feelings was carrying on with his stay in India. What mattered to him was his work and Rohan. As for Juhi, his new found friend was there to support him a person whom he had come to appreciate after Shilpa. He admired her strength and attitude. Strength to move ahead; without dwelling on the misfortunes of her life while attitude of living on with a smile just to spread a smile around and comfort others.
Slowly and steadily Sid was also getting over his inhibitions of visiting Sanjeevani. Whenever in Mumbai he used to frequent Sanjeevani to check on Purva and meet Juhi also. Riddhima made sure she stayed out of his path. What mattered to her was seeing him at ease. Yet her heart always wanted to know more about him and this always took her back to Juhi with her probing questions.
It had been five weeks since Sid was in India. Riddhima sat in her living room thinking about her findings about Sid.
Juhi: One can't stop being amazed how proficient he is. He has really worked very hard. You talk to him about work and he can talk non-stop. But outside work he really does not have much to say. He hardly has any friends or social life it seems. Shaayad kuch toh hua hoga uski zindagi mein jiss wajah se woh aisa hai.
Riddhima: Kya hua kuch bataya usne?
Juhi: Nahi not specifically but I think he is scared to let anyone close to him
Riddhima: Jo meine uske saath kiya ............ uske vishwas ko thoda meine aur iss wajah se woh aaj bhi kisi pe vishwas karna nahi chahata ........... kya kar diya meine uske saath?
===============================================
Juhi: Kal Siddhant bata raha tha apne past ke baare mein........he been divorced for a long time now.
Riddhima: Usne bataya kya reason tha divorce ke peech?
Juhi: Well he said they were stuck in a loveless marriage.......... The marriage was forced on his wife and though she wanted to work it out He could not come to terms with her past He did not want to remain in such a marriage so he called it off. From what ever I can understand he really loved her though he says otherwise. But yes may be over the years he has come to realize his mistake that he should have been more understanding towards his wife. But ab rone se kya fayada.

Riddhima: Usne sara ilzaam khud pe le liya ...........kyun Sid kyu ho tum itne ache......... meine tumhare saath jo kiya uske baad bhi tum uff bhi nahi karte ........kyu..........

Juhi Riddhima his past is a mystery ......even after all that he has told about himself...... He blames himself for subjecting his wife to torture of a loveless marriage and is happy that she is happy where she is with her loved one. But then he is so hasseled whenever he talks about her for e.g. the other day I asked him would he like to meet his ex-wife He was furious that he does not want to see her ever. Then suddenly he cooled down saying that he would not want to hinder her present life. If he wants her happiness then why is there so much fury and hatred for which he does not even want to ever meet her? He says he holds nothing against her but yet? There is a complete disconnect.

Riddhima: aaj woh mujhse nafrat karta hai ........par kyu .........woh aaj bhi meri khushi chahata hai par aur usne kabhi bhi mujhe doshi nahi mana unn sab cheezo ke liye phir bhi ...........jo uske saath hua ...........woh theek nahi tha........... woh uss time toh seh gaya lekin uska a bahoot gehera asar padta uske zehen pe........... sab meri galati thi .......

==========================================

Juhi: It's a pleasure to hear him speak about work. I have been telling him that since he is going to be in India for some months why not join as a consultant in some of the hospital infact Sanjeevani would also be a good choice We could use his expertise. But he does not seem interested. He somehow does not want to do anything with this place. Somehow though his work is a way to keep himself busy and but i guess not in India his past memories bother him and in way he wants to stay from all his past memories.

Riddhima: kyu mein soch rahi hoo uske baare mein itna............ itna guilty kyu feel karva rahe hoo mujhe armaan ki tarah .............armaan bhi apne harkato se hamesha mujhe guilty feel karvata raha .. lekin tum .......tum toh aise nahi the ........ tumne kaha tha tum khush rahoge ....... mujhe laga tha tum aage badhoge .......... mein tumhare layak nahi thi isliye tumse door jaana chahati thi taake tum aage badho par tum aaj bhi ........ kyu Sid.......... armaan ko bhi hamesha kaha ki aage badho lekin woh sirf char kadam peeche chala jaata........ yaad hai tumhe Shilpa mein ek umeed ki kiran dikhi thi .......... woh ek achi ladki thi .......shayaad kahi na kahi woh armaan ko aage badha sakti thi ........... par jab tak mein samaj payi woh bahoot der ho chuki thi........... hamesha laga ki woh armaan ko apni poorani aadato ke paas leke jaa sakti hai .........yeh fikar mujhe bahoot bahoot jyada darati thi......apno ko apni zindagi karaab karte kaise dekh sakta hai koi aur armaan .......woh toh .........ek waqt kitne kareeb the hum............ armaan ke zindagi kabhi terav tha hi nahi ......... woh terav chahati thi bus aur kuch nahi........ par shayaad mein galat thi ........armaan hi aage nahi bhadna chahata tha........

par tum Sid tum kyu nahi aage badhe......... aaj jab mein tumhe Juhi ke saath dekti hoon toh aaj bhi mujhe woh umeed ki kiran dikti hai ............ Agar aisa kuch hai toh galat kya hai ...... Sid hamesha se bahoot hi samajdhar raha hai.........aur Juhi ek achi ladki hai ..........todi mazaakiya hai lekin dil ki ekdum saaf aur saachi hai Sid ki tarah ......woh Sid ki zindagi mein khushiya wapis laa sakti hai ........ jo galati meine armaan ke saath ki woh mein Sid ke saath nahi karoongi ..............aaj mere dil mein Sid ke liye kuch bhi nahi hai..........  aur waise bhi Sid ab mujhse nafrat karta hai toh yeh hi sahi .........
Mein usse nahi milongi ........... kuch bhi ho jaye........ usse woh saare dard wapis yaad nahi karvongi........ usse aage bhadne ke liye mein jo kuch ho sakta hai mein karoongi............sirf uski khushi ab mayane rakti hai........

Little did she know that destiny had something else in store for her.

Being a weekday Sid was again in Mumbai. Juhi and Sid again had plans to meet. Juhi was toward the end of her shift. She had been working a case which required a lot of precision. Hence was in the lab practicing how to focus and aim at a single point.  

When Sid did not find Juhi in her office he walked up the nurse station to check where to find Juhi. While waiting for the attendant to check where Juhi was he started browsing through the brochures kept there. There were some doctors discussing some case nearby. It seemed interesting so he started listening intently. The voices were low so could not hear clearly. Should he check up with them the thought flashed his mind. May be not? He was not even attached to the hospital. He should not interfere. But finally he made up his mind to check with them. The attendant who after much effort could not locate Juhi made an announcement. 'Dr. Juhi....... could you please come to the nurse station on the fifth floor Dr. Siddhant Modi is here to meet you.' As the announcement rang around the hospital one of the doctor in the group froze on her spot. 'SID' ........... Riddhima did not know what to do ......... she was just a couple of steps away from Sid. Why does this have to happen? I do not want to meet him ...........why........why now ???