Tuesday, September 20, 2011

SR FF continued from Part 50

Hey Sudha and all my friends out there ...........i did not want this cliffhanger........ask Sudha I had promised I would not but seriously I cannot write further its 3.30 am in the morning and seriously can't write further ...........hence this cliff hanger...........and yes .....there are no lies or anything ......... i had planned the entire FF in advance.....so just going as per plan .............and yes it is an SR FF .....I seriously cant write further and i also have to send pm ........so bear with me ........i will give another update tomorrow


Part 50
Sid: Kya hua .......

Attendant: Pata nahi Sir Dr Juhi ward mein bhi nahi hai isliye announcement ki .........

Sid: Ok.........mein yahi rukta hoon ..........

Sid stood there waiting for Juhi. While the doctors continued to discuss the case. Riddhima just stood there frozen at her spot. Her feelings were all over the place. What she wished for so many days was happening. After so many years, hearing Sid's voice, husky yet so mellow. There was a time when she used to get tired listening to him talk incessantly. At times it felt like he was reading out of a magazine. An affectionate smile spread over her face. But today when she was hearing his voice after 10 years she felt as if she could sit there listening to it the whole day long. Yet she knew she could not She could not meet him. She did not want to meet him. She was just dreading what if Sid noticed her there? What if she needed to speak? He may recognize her voice, then what? They were standing quite close to the nurse station. She could be heard even if Sid was not looking their way.

He lost track of what he was going to do and again started browsing through the brochure waiting for Juhi. While the doctors continued to discuss the case which was still audible to him. Suddenly it clicked him that he was going to check with those doctors about the case. Once again he lifted his head from the brochure and asked the attendant to let him know when Dr. Juhi comes while he was going to join that group of doctors who were discussing the case. The attendant nodded and as Sid turned to leave to join the group. The phone rang.

Attendant: Dr Siddhant ...........Dr Juhi for you........

He turned back to take the call.

Juhi: Siddhant ek kaam karo na .........  mein sixth floor pe hoon .........yahi aa javo ....mein yaha pe lab mein hoon........

Sid: Ok cool ......mein atta hoon ....... ten mins ........

Juhi: Kyu dus min kyu.........questioned impatiently

Sid: actually........ here a group of doctors seem to be discussing an amazing case. Thought of just waiting back and try to understand more.......

Juhi: Lo phir ho gaya kaam tamam......... you are not going come ............ for another hour or so........ and I will be here...........aur waise bhi ............you are here to discuss any case aur itna shauk hai toh ...... come i will give you many more cases we can sit and discuss them all evening ........

Sid: Ok ........don't get angry I will come up immediately...........

Riddhima hearing this heaved a sign a relief. Sid was not going to join the group as he thought earlier. After some time she quickly stole a look behind to notice that Sid was not there. He has already left to meet Juhi. She once again heaved a sign of relief and went back to concentrate on the discussion at hand. Though she knew it was best not to stand there for too long. So she got the team to quickly wrap up the case.  

Riddhima after dismissing the group she contemplated what to do. She definitely wanted to see Sid. More than wanting to see him more often it was more of just wanting to see as she did not know whether it would be the last chance to see him or not. Anxiety of not getting to see him again brought her to the nurse station and she found herself asking the attendant where Juhi was. The attendant answered and Riddhima quickly made way towards the sixth floor labs.

Juhi and Sid were discussing the case for which Juhi was practicing.

Juhi: is there no other option Siddhant?

Sid nodding his head in denial .......Nopes ........... no other.......

Juhi: agar nahi hua toh........

Sid: aree you have done so many operations how come you are getting scared now.

Juhi: it's not the matter of being scared but don't know............ when I saw you doing Purva's operation you did it so much ease inspite of being under pressure.

Sid: Juhi........ listen .........you are unnecessarily stressing yourself .......... trust yourself........ why are you so nervous........don't let other things affect you .........you are good ............ now focus ........

Juhi: Ok let me try again .......

She stood there near the apparatus trying to target the exact spot which she was viewing throught the magnifier and continued to attempt to aim. Sid was patiently looking at her as she attempted once again..

Riddhima quickly came up the stairs and stood at a distance looking at Sid and Juhi talking. She looked at them intently try to decipher what they were talking. 'What are they talking Looks like they are discussing about some case or something of the kind. But why is Juhi looking so troubled. Are they having an arguement Did Sid see me that is why ..............? No he looks pretty ok. Woh toh mujhe pasand nahi karta ab toh agar usne mujhe dekha hota toh itna relaxed nahi hota. Phir kya baat hai ..........? The whole scene perturbed her.

Juhi was trying hard to focus and aim at the point she had marked. But every time was failing miserably. Each failed attempt was frustrating her further and finally she lost her cool. 'Damn ............. itna bhi nahi kar paa rahi hu. Phir kal kya hoga.'  

Sid: I think you are overworking yourself just wrap up now. You are way too stressed out. Ab toh bilkul nahi hoga......

Juhi: Aree meri kal surgery hai .......

Sid: shaam mein hai na ...........toh kal dupher ko practice karo ...........

Juhi: par baaki ke kaam.........

Sid who stood resting against a table walked up to Juhi and held her by her shoulders and turned her to face him 'Relax...........kal karo' he said calmly.

Riddhima was looking at them intently and wondering what the conversation was all about. Why is Juhi so agitated? What is Sid saying to her? Sid aise kyu behave kar raha hai? She was not able to get a clear view of Juhi so could not understand that she was practicing for the next day's surgery.

Juhi: Nahi ............ i have to do it ........ how do you manage...........?

Sid: I don't know ..........ho jaata hai ..........ab aadat ho gayi hai ............

Juhi: Phir mujhe bhi honi chahiye.......... Ok let me try again......remained stubborn on her point

Sid knew there was no point arguing so backed away and waited for Juhi to give up. He knew she was way too stressed due to which she had completely stiffened out. With such a stance she could never focus and aim.

With another failed attempt she once again Juhi lost her cool 'Damn!!!!!!!'

Sid seeing her so agitated was quite amused yet understood her frustration. Amused because he knew she was a good surgeon but right now too stressed and was just being stubborn. Nothing else. He knew he had to do some damage control or else Juhi would end up only losing confidence. He quickly rushed over to calm her down. 'Chill Juhi Chill.............. achaa ruko ........ i know you are not going to let it go and even if you do stop here your mind will be stuck on this.'

Juhi looked at him and nodded. There seemed no difference between Juhi and a small child trying to retrieve the kite but was unable to. Only a little patience and logic was required which seemed to be amiss at the moment in Juhi. Quite understandable after a long hard day she was trying to practice with a tired mind.

Sid: 'Okay should we try together.......let me help you.....and now try to relax' looked at her questioningly

Immediately a smile broke out on Juhi's face.

These change of emotions surprised Riddhima. 'What actually is happening?'

Sid: 'Stand over here' held Juhi by her hand and led her towards the table where she was practicing. 'Ok now look through the magnifier and focus' Juhi looked down at the spot marked by her. 'Try to aim........'
Once again she missed. Sid: looked her intently noticing her facial expressions and posture. She was too stiff and frustrated. He came closer to her. 'Juhi'

Juhi: hmmm i know.......

Sid: shhhhhhh .........

Juhi just quietly stood there waiting for Sid to talk. Sid went still closer standing on her right side. 'Ok now Juhi lets try to understand some things. You are a good surgeon infact you are amazing But this is the problem. Your posture.' He gently held her shoulders 'See...... they are too stiff........... loosen up........... you just need to loosen up ...... Once you feel relaxed try again.' And he removed his hands from her shoulders and moved back.
Riddhima saw Sid placing his hands on Sid shoulder but could not deduce what was happening as his back was towards her. Was he consoling Juhi? Maybe that is why he moved back quickly. Yes maybe he was consoling her. Curiosity was killing Riddhima.

Juhi tried again to just fail once again. 'Dekho Siddhant nahi ho raha hai'

Sid now knew there was not other option. He slowly went and stood behind Juhi. Once again placed his hands on her shoulders and started massaging her shoulder near the neck gently.'Juhi see these muscles out here are too stiff.......because you are all tensed up  ......relax....... you are too stiff at the moment....... and if you don't relax you will not be able to aim accurately......your hand will shake ...... loosen up .......Juhi ......... Juhi.......

Juhi: Yes baba ......... still all irritated with herself as to how she could not get it right

Sid understanding that Juhi had still not understood why this was happening went on to explain. His voice was calm no irritation reflected which soothed and reassured Juhi. Here was a skilled surgeon who was trying to teach her something and she was not able to get it right. If it was someone else in his place he would have thrown a fit. After all, he did not owe her this guidance or help yet she was still removing frustration of her failure on him. She knew she owed him an apology 'Sorry'

Sid: 'it's ok giving her shoulder a light squeeze to reassure her that he understood.
Sid continued 'ok now...... see if you feel uncomfortable you will not be able to do this and your body becomes stiff when you are uncomfortable...... So relax ........concentrate on your breathing for a moment...........you need to feel your muscles relaxing' Whispering to Juhi He knew slightest raise in his pitch may startle Juhi and she will once again stiffen up..........He slowly moved his right hand and held Juhi's right hand. 'Now try again ......together........' Juhi managed to aim only to miss it narrowly Noticing her progress Sid lightly wispered 'Once again' But this time very slowly he withdrew his hand  .....'Try' .........he whispered again ............ Once again she tried and she got the spot right......... 'Ok just try once again' Slowly withdrawing away from her. She got it right again.

Riddhima stood there shocked to the core looking at what was happening. It pinched her seeing the sight in front of her eyes. Unconsciencely her fist clenched tightly that her nails were hurting her own tender skin. Her hand hurt. For a moment opened her fist and looked at her hand. Seeing the marks of her nails on her palm she knew why? It hurt her but why did the sight in front of her eyes hurt her more? That she could not understand. What she saw today completely unsettled her. Constantly she kept asking herself why it pinched her so much when she saw this? She felt burning rage building up in her. She could not handle it any further. She knew she needed to get away before she did something which she would regret.

Sid: Hogaya na ...........

Juhi did not even realise when Sid went and stood back at his original place against the table. Surprised she turned around. 'Siddhant ...........when............ I DID IT YIPEEEEE!!! All exicted with herself.

Sid: I told you ...........you only need to relax.............nothing else......Now please chalo yaha se please.......

Juhi: God you don't have any patience.

Sid shocked at the allegations 'I don't have patience........absolutely........... sorry ...........par ab toh chalo....'

They both once again spent a quiet evening at Juhi's house chatting on general stuff and work.

While Riddhima sat lost in her thoughts at home; still was trying to digest what happened between Sid and Juhi and even more so why was she feeling the way she was?
Kya hai jo mujhe itna pareshan kar raha hai......... Sid aur Juhi ek doosre ko jyada jaante tak nahi ........par kya waqt hi sabse jayada mayane rakta hai............ek doosre ko jaane ke liye.......Nahi....... main bhi Sid ko kuch hi dino mein jaanane lagi thi........ uske bole bina uske mann mein kya chal raha hai woh jaan leti thi...........par kya Sid aur Juhi sach mein .......... unki nazdikiyan ........ kya woh karan hai ........Nahiiiiiiii!!!!..........par kyu mujhe itna bura lag raha hai. ............jab Sid Naina ko shaadi ke liye dekhne gaya tha...............tab bhi bahoot bechaini mehsos ki thi .............aur aaj bhi wohi bechaini mehsoos kar rahi hoon ............ uss waqt bhi mujhe bahoot bura laga tha.......... par tab aur ab ke haalaatoh mein faraq hai ........par kya aaj bhi wohi hai ....... kya main Sid ko kisi aur ke saath dekh nahi sakti ............ kya yeh baat hai ............. She closed her eyes and the images of the evening flashed in front of her eyes. ..................Nahi!!!!!!!! yeh nahi ho sakta Sweat was forming on her brow........She looked down at the object she held in her hands...... The photograph that always remained locked in the lowest drawer of office table today had found it's way out from confines of that drawer that office. She sat there staring at it. ........yeh galat hai .............. Aaj mujhe tumpe koi haq nahi hai ......... tab ki baat alag thi ........... mein tumhari patni thi .............. poora haq tha mere tumpe .......... Par aaj ........... woh haq mera nahi hai ............. main Sid ko deserve nahi karti. Tumhari zindagi aaj alag hai .......... jisme mere liye koi jagah nahi hai ........... I am no more the person who can share your joys and sorrows. Par Juhi.......... kuch hi dino mein Sid ke bahoot nazdeek aa chuki hai ........... Hah!!! Aaj Sid tum bhi uska saath pasand karte ho ..............aur agar tumhari khush Juhi ke saath hai .......aur tumhari khushi mein hi meri khushi hai....... aaj mere liye yahi mayane rakta hai ki tum khush raho ........ aur kuch nahi chahiye mujhe ........kuch nahi ....... kya uski khushi chahana galat hai ..........Nahi!!! ............ saare haq kho chuki mein lekin yeh haq koi bhi nahi cheen sakta mujhse ......... She looked down again at the photograph 'Tum bhi nahi cheen sakte yeh haq mujhse....... tum bhi nahi'  She knew what she had to do now.

=======================================================================

Next day Riddhima tried to catch up with Juhi but either duties or something else kept popping in between them. Every attempt was failing to meet Juhi. She wanted to talk to Juhi about Sid and her. Finally around late afternoon Riddhima managed to get Juhi down to talk peacefully. But before she could touch the topic Juhi was called for duty. Riddhima sat there frustrated what to do not knowing what to do.
Sid had come to Sanjeevani to meet Juhi and give her moral support. As he walked passed the ICU He saw a crowd of people gathered around a lady. The lady was crying bitterly. The sight pulled at his heart. 'why does God give some one so much pain........?' He quickly called the ward boy passing by to check if he knew anything.

Unfortunately the ward boy did not know anything about her. From the look of it it seemed that lady must have lost a dear one. He could not stand the sight any longer. It brought back memories of Shilpa after Vishal's death. He quickly moved out to meet Juhi in her office.

Juhi was sitting there all frustrated not knowing what to do. Looking at Juhi's expression Sid concluded that again she was not able to do what they had tried last evening.

Sid: Wapis nahi kar paa rahi hoo.........

Juhi looked up startled 'Tum kab aya ..........'

Sid: Abhi aaya ...........socha tumse milta chalu........... wapis problem ho raha hai kya ............

Juhi: Nahi............ aisi koi baat nahi .......

Sid: toh phir kya hua............

Juhi: Nahi kuch nahi.........

Sid: it's ok........... no stress......

Juhi: Siddhant aisa nahi hai ki main batana nahi chahati it's just that there is not much that can be done..............

Sid: phir bhi bol do ........mann halka ho jayega .......... waise bhi tumhe surgery hai .........tense rahogi toh wapis wohi problem........

Juhi got up from her chair and started pacing in her office. 'Siddhant .......actually there is this patient bahoot hi critical condition hai..........the family can't pick up the cost........ unki financial halaat aisi nahi hai............. we tried for all types of sponsorship donations etc but .........nothing worked...... aur ab aisa scene hai ki surgery nahi hui toh no chance............. Siddhant jab main uss aurat ko dekhti hoon na tab bahoot gussa aata hai .........

Sid: Juhi I understand ...........kahi na kahi tum uske anne wali zindagi mein apne zindagi ka khalipan dekh rahi hoo na............ ?

Juhi looked at Sid in shock. So true were his words. She knew how painful it is to loose the person whom you love, with whom you plan to spend the entire life. How lonely one feels when the person is not there to share you joys and sorrow, to walk the path of life with you. The tears in her eyes answered Sid's question.

Sid: Kya yeh wohi aurat hai jo ICU ke bahar...........

Juhi nodded.......... ' Bahoot roo rahi thi........... Gussa aata hai ..........mein uski help karna chahati hoon lekin can't  ...........being attached to the hospital I can't until the fees are paid ...........aur ab toh bahoot complicated ho gaya hai ......... even if the fees are paid or waived I can't ........... we will need a very skilled surgeon......... Looking at Sid with hopeful eyes.......

Sid: Kya case hai....... main kuch help kar sakta hoon ............

Juhi suddenly saw that ray of hope which she was searching. She knew that Sid would not let her down............ 'Tum help kar sakte hoo ...........but then it dawned on her about the fees ....... lekin...........'

Sid: lekin baad mein dekte hai ........... give me the case file.

She handed the file. He studied it for some time. 'Cool ........ I can manage this.'

Juhi did not know what he meant by manage  'Manage as in ......' the question of fees still loomed large.

Sid: I can operate waise bhi neurologist kyu bana hoon........... and If the hospital has no issues I will not charge anything as fees Sid smiled reassuringly that all would be fine Juhi need not worry.

Juhi still not convinced completely: but baaki ke fees you know hospital stay and medicines etc........

Sid: chalo we can work that out.............. No stress.........

Juhi: looked sceptical. .......ok but.......

Sid: chalo ab .......let's just talk to the lady .......first lets try understand what is her stand ..............

They quickly moved out to meet the lady. The lady was elated but then the issue of hospital feels and medicines came up again. Mr Shah (Purva's father) was there to visit Purva overheard this entire conversation. Sid had not charged him anything either since they were family friends He decided to chip into the good cause that Sid was setting his hands to as a thank you to him. Within minutes all seemed to be back on track. Juhi was elated seeing this new ray of hope. She knew the patient would pull through safely. Sid will carry him safely through all this. She looked at Sid affectionately knowing that all was indeed going to be fine.

Sid and Juhi made a move toward's Juhi's cabin to make the necessary arrangement.

Sid: Happy now ............relaxed feel kar rahi ho na ab............

Juhi: haaan aur tum bhi na .............

Sid looked at her shocked. She never failed to amaze him. How did she always manage to catch him he never could understand?

Juhi: Shilpa ki yaad aa rahi thi na uss aurat ko dekh kar...........

Sid: Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Juhi: Chalo chodo senti baate ................ damn hell aaj hi yeh surgery hai ......... and itne saare kaam hai........... we will need to operate as soon as possible........mein ek kaam karti hoon...........

Sid: Rukoo meri baat suno ........... ek kaam karte hai ............ team agar wohi rahi toh acha rahega ......Purva wali.........get someone to check on it .............and as for studying the case and extra reports main manage karloonga........ you relax ............

Sid and Juhi sat down in her office. She went on to make the initial arrangements and then prepared for her sugery due soon While Sid continued to study the case.

As time neared for the surgery Sid had almost finished doing all his work on the case.

Juhi: Siddhant......... yeh sanction documents hai ........... sign kar dena ..........mein baaki ke formalities khatam karlongi surgery ke baad....................

Sid: just nodded........... Best of luck for the surgery and relax...............Suddenly the thought struck him that Juhi would land up finishing very late what if the sanctions were not obtained then all will be waste.........He quickly called out to Juhi who had just left her office 'Juhi tell me where the DO sits I will get it done...............if you are late then problem ho jayega.......'

Juhi did not know whether Sid knew the hospital well or not............. She quickly called a nurse.......... 'Sir ko Riddhima madam ke le javo..............'

Juhi: Sid the nurse will take you ...........chalo bye.......and briskly walked away.

Sid grabbed the file and followed the nurse with the file in hand.

Sid: agar aap mujhe bata dengi toh khud chala jaonga ............

Nurse: Nahi Sir ............main leke chalti hoon ...........Juhi madam kuch nahi bolengi par .............

Sid: par kay ................ DO kuch bolenge .............don't worry just tell me ............i will go .......... aur upar mujhe yeh jagah achi tarah se maloom hai ............

Nurse: par aap toh yaha kaam nahi karte na......

Sid: Bahoot saal pehle meine yaha meri internship ki thi........... smiled at the fact that today also he clearly he remembered everything about the place........... It somehow did not bother him so much.

Nurse: Achaa.......toh aap hamari Hitler ko bhi jaante hoge..............  

Sid was surprised to hear that.........Dr. Kirti ........... He thought........... 'Acha Hitler aabhi bhi hai yahi'

Nurse: haan ........suddenly stopping in her tracks........... woh dekhiye ............. pointing towards the lady standing at the nurse station.

Sid was surprised to know Dr Kirti still worked here. As he approached the lady he wondered was it really Dr. Kirti She was not so tall. Why was he feeling different? As if he knew this person very closely.

Nurse: Dr Riddhima.............Dr Juhi ne inko aapse milne bheja hai ............

Riddhima turned to check who Juhi wanted her to meet. There stood the person whom she had avoided for so many weeks. SID!!!



Part 51

It felt as if time stood still. 10 years back they parted to go their own ways but destiny had brought them together once again, face to face.

Both stood there, oblivious of their surroundings, oblivious of their own emotions. Frozen.

Sid had least expected to meet Riddhima after so many visits to Sanjeevani. But he knew he surely was not dreaming. Why fate was so cruel. He did not want any association with his past, the people who left him behind who killed his faith in love and relationships. Why was it that everytime he started to get comfortable with his life, his surroundings his existence that fate played a cruel joke on him. 'Riddhima' as the name echoed in his ears the images of his past were coming rushing to him Every memory which he had kept at bay. He continued to stand there dumbstruck as each image flashed in front of his eyes. With every passing moment, his face told a story of his past. The lady was the one who made him believe in love again, who gave a new meaning, a new motive to his life. He lived for her happiness, to see a smile on his face. She was the one for whom he could endure any hardship. He could stake his life for her. She was the one whom he married knowing well that she preferred death over walking the path of life with him. All for only her honor which he himself had tarnished with his blind acts of fury. But she indeed was whom he loved and respected the most in his entire life, whom he married not once but twice. What a strange relationship they shared they were never friends, despite marrying each other twice they did not live together as man and wife nor were they lovers yet they always came and stood next to each other trying carry forward the non-existent relationship. And that's what it all was both the times it was nothing but a facade. She always pretended she loved him wanted him but her heart alway was with her lover. She betrayed ever relationship as for her the only person who mattered was armaan.

Riddhima who had so carefully avoided this moment for weeks did not know how to react. She knew he no more thought of her affectionately. He did not even think of her. He did not want to remember anything about her. She no more mattered to him. Then how come he was here to meet her. Did Juhi tell Sid about her? But somehow it did not matter now. He was here to meet her. Whatever came her way she would welcome it. She stood there trying to decode the change of emotions on Sid's face. She waited for Sid to break his silence, to hear him take her name. It was 10 years since she had heard that.

They both didn't know how long they stood there. Sid still was coming to terms. He kept staring at the person in front of him. He did not remember what he was there for. His limbs felt numb. He was finding it difficult to handle his own body weight and wanted to let go of everything.
Riddhima kept watching him intently He looked as if he would crumble any moment. She wanted to rush over to help him. Something held her back. She struggled but stood rooted to her spot. Her vision blurred with the tears in her eyes. Why did she feel so helpless she did not know?
Sid's numb finger let go of the weight of the sanction and it fell onto the floor with a thud.
The noise was enough to startle him and shake him out of his daze. He looked at the file fallen at his feet. He snapped back to reality. He bent down to pick it and once again looked at the person standing in front of him. He had to get the sanction letter signed from this person. He closed his eyes to steady himself and images once again flashed in front of his eyes 'Shilpa's photo hanging on the wall with a lamp burning in front of it ...........Rohan with his small shaking hands emerging the ashes' He opened his eyes to once again find the lady who had betrayed every relationship in her life standing in front of him. Rage reflected in his bloodshot eyes.
Riddhima could not bear to see Sid like. She wanted to comfort him. She could not handle his look in his eyes.
Sid could no longer bear the sight of that lady took a few steps back flattering at every step. Riddhima wanted to stop him but she wanted to call out to him but choked on her words.
Nothing mattered to Sid now and definitely not Riddhima. He quickly turned around and briskly walked away from there leaving a crumbling Riddhima behind.
======================================================================

Sid stood there in Juhi's office trembling with rage. He looked at the file in his hand which was instrumental for this. Without a second thought he threw the file away and walked out of the office. He did not want anything to do with this place anymore. All that he wanted to do right now was pack up leave for Panchgani. He had made up his mind. He was taking Rohan along with him as soon as he could. He did not want anybody near Rohan. 'Nahi chahata ki ko hamari zindagi mein ab......... hume kisiki zaroorat nahi hai' He made his way towards the exit.

Riddhima still stood there dazed. The look in Sid's eyes still traumatized her. 'Sid'. She murmured. She continued to stand there like a statue.

While near the nurse station the doctor assigned for Sid's patient was frantically searching for Sid. Due to the sudden development it seemed apparent that the surgery had to be preponed. Finally, he gave up searching and got the attendant to make the announcement 'Dr. Siddhant Modi..... you are required in the ICU Please report immediately'

Riddhima hearing Sid's name came back to reality. 'Sid!!!............ oh my God...... kya hua ........Sid ko kyu bula rahe hai ICU mein........ the thought scared her. Kya Purva??? Without a second thought she went across to the nurse station where Sid was required.

Sid who was on his way out of the hospital heard his name being called out asking him to report to the nurse station. He immediately stopped in his tracks. 'Yeh main kya kar raha hoo............. main kisi aur ka ghussa uss patient pe kaise nikhal sakta hoon......... Main ek doctor hoon .........main aise kaise behave kar sakta hoon.......... itna selfish kaise ban sakta hoon ...............meri pehli priority mere patients hai................. aur koi mere liye mayane nahi rakta..............' Sid always remained true to his his name and his profession.

Riddhima reached the nurse station to find the Dr. Abhay whom Juhi had assigned the responsibility of the case.
Riddhima: Dr Abhay yeh announcement aapne karvayi........

Dr Abhay was very nervous that Riddhima was enquiring about it. He knew sanctions were yet to be sort so he was just dreading a firing from Riddhima for not keeping her in the loop.  'Dr Riddhima actually ..........Dr Juhi ki ek patient hai ............humne aapko batane wale hi the ......... in fact Dr. Modi ne unke liye fees liye bina surgery karne wale hai ............. We are very sorry ma'am ......... we did not.
Riddhima was not interested in knowing the entire background story By now she had understood that Sid had come to meet her to get the sanction form signed.

Riddhima: Dr Abhay .......... it's ok ...........Sid.......I mean Dr Siddhant kaha hai ............. woh ........ yaha nahi aye kya .......

Dr Abhay: I don't know ma'am woh actually aapko hi milne gaye the lekin ............ ab kahi nahi mil rahe hai ............ woh aap se nahi mile...........

Riddhima now completely scared. Sid was upset and angry She knew every time when he got angry he used to keep it bottled up and punishing himself She had to find Sid even if it meant bearing his wrath. Also she knew if that is Abhay had made an announcement calling Sid urgently that means the situation was critical.

Riddhima: Patient ........Sid ............ka ............I mean Dr Siddhant ka .......... he is stable or is there a problem.

Dr. Abhay: Ma'am we feel that we will be not able to wait till tomorrow morning if we have to operate we have to operate right now............ of course we need to check with the surgeon but ........he is not to be seen .......

Riddhima: Dr. Abhay ......kya team ready hai ........... OT ready hai........ paper work done hai ..........

Dr. Abhay: Team stand by pe hai aur OT bhi ready hai ........sirf ............paper work thodha baaki hai aur aapke aur Dr Modi ke sanction form pe signatures chahiye........ aap permission de rahi hai na iskeliye..........asked nervously

Riddhima: Yes............. assist kaun karege .........

Dr. Abhay: woh ek problem hai .........  par mein kar sakta hoon .........

The nurses and attendents had already begun gossiping about this. It anyways seemed too good to be true situation for everyone that such a skilled surgeon was not taking fees and his previous patient's family bearing all the remaining costs.  

Riddhima was trying to think how to work out a solution She was worried for Sid and the patient. Firstly she could not digest the fact that Sid of all person left the patient behind. He was never so. And now that he had done so she was knew that there were bigger chances that he may not return. She had to do something to bring him back.

As she stood there racking her brains for her solution she overheard the nurses gossiping about how these foreign return doctors pretend to charity but are there all for money.

Riddhima tried to ignore the statements made against Sid Riddhima turned to Abhay and asked him to continue with the work.
Dr Abhay: par kya fayada even after the announcement Dr Modi toh nahi aye hai .......... waise yeh jo log keh rahe hai woh kuch galat nahi hai ...........shaayad............

'Enough everyone ..........' Riddhima screamed 'I will not tolerate anyone talking like this about any doctor out here. As for Dr Siddhant Modi you do not know him so please think before you speak I will not tolerate such things said about him.............. Aur aap Dr Abhay ...........aap chinta mat kijiye Siddhant ajayega...........aap paper work khatam kijiye...........

She asked the attendant to locate Sid number in the records and inform her about the same. And stormed out of the place As she passed Juhi's cabin she noticed all papers lying scattered everywhere. When she checked, they were the same sanction papers which Sid had gotten for her to sign. The sight broke all her hopes. She now thought Sid was not going to be come back.

Sid reached the nurse station to be told that Dr Abhay and Dr Riddhima were looking for him. The person whom he wanted to avoid wanted to meet him. He laughed at irony of life. There was a time when he would have given anything in order to be Riddhima's priority list. And when today he did not even want to see her She had come seeking him. He ignored the information and asked the nurse to send Dr Abhay to Juhi's cabin.

Riddhima started collecting the papers and arranging them in order. Her heart was not ready to accept that Sid left. 'Woh kabhi aise nahi tha.............. har situation ko samne se face kiya hai .......... jab gas leak hua tha tab bhi saab kuch bhool kar armaan ko usne hi bachaya .........woh kabhi bhi apni personal life ko professional life pe haavi nahi hone deta.............. par kya aaj ........ nahi dil nahi maan raha hai ki tum itne badal gaye.........'

Sid walked into the cabin to find Riddhima picking up the last of the papers. There was this awkward silence. Sid did not understand why Riddhima was there and was searching for him. Her presence bothered him only to the extent that he did not know what to expect from her. Unpredictible as she always was. Her life with him was just a facade which she put up to fool the world and him. He did not have time to decode her. He was on a mission and his aim was to complete it successful in the least possible time to enable his exit from the place.
Riddhima fidgeted with the last of the papers to place them in order every now and then nervously steeling glances at Sid. Her belief in him in her faith in him was proved correct yet again. She felt immensely happy to see him there. But she could not show the same. What if Sid misunderstood it?
Both did not understand what to say do or how to behave. Both looking away from each other stood there for the other to break the silence or leave the room.

'Sir aap aa gaye? Hame laga tha ki aap.........'

Sid started by the sudden question thrown his way: Aap .......Dr Abhay.?

Abhay nodded.

Sid: Aapne announcement kiya tha.........

Abhay: Sir we feel we may need to operate sooner. Aap ek baar patient ko check kar lijiye........

Sid: agar karni hai toh saari tayaari ho chuki hai kya..........

Abhay: Haan Sir. Meine Dr Riddhima ko saara update de diya hai.................

Before Riddhima could speak sid started. 'Chaliye hamare pass jyada time nahi hai.........chalte chalte aap mujhe update de dijiye......... Taking the file from Abhay he quickly signed it and handed it back to Abhay. He looked at Riddhima 'Thank you for the sanction Doctor' and left from there.
Abhay was finding this extremely wierd. Riddhima who typically was always very uptight was standing there all nervous. Inspite of the fact that; what she had said earlier that evening at the nurse station had indeed come true. He brushed his thoughts aside and handed the file back to Riddhima as she had not signed it and left leaving Riddhima alone in the room to wonder 'Thank you for the sanction Doctor'


Hello All,


I somehow have managed this update today a day late ............ I am really sorry .......... There are many things happening simultaneously which shall keep me very busy, college work some issues on at hand ......... Hence, would really find it difficult to dedicate time to writing 1 update a day. Hence, going forward, till things streamline I would give you a updates on a weekly basis but much longer than these. Min twice as long. I am really sorry about this In case I update earlier I shall definitely pm you all

I am really sorry about this but things are just getting very hard for me at the moment. God willing soon all shall be on track along with the daily updatesSmile


But before I go I really really want to thank you for waiting so patiently for the update and I am sorry once again that I could not update earlier.

Part 52
'Aaj mera naam lena bhi gawara nahi hai usse....... 'Thank you for the sanction Doctor' .............. ek woh waqt tha ............jab mera naam lete thakta nahi tha............. aur aaj........... disappointed with how way Sid addressed her.  Par theek hi toh hai aaj waqt badal chukka hai .......10 saal pehle saare rishtey chuthse gaye  ...........aaj Sid yaha pe ek Doctor ke hesiyat se aya hai aur isliye yehi theek hai

Sid completed briefing the patient's wife about the procedure he was going to do and explained her possible consequences and chances of survival.  He went on to brief the team about the case and Abhay to complete the initial process of shaving the patient's head and shifting him to the OT while he gets ready. Abhay was quiet during all this. He did not know how to broach the biggest issue at hand. Though Riddhima had not rejected this operation from being conducted; but they did not even have her official permission.  He was worried that later this could cause a problem. Finally he gathered the courage to bring up this topic.

Dr. Abhay: Dr. Modi lekin abhi tak sanction papers pe Dr Riddhima ke sign nahi huye hai ............. We still don't have official permission ..........

Sid's temper knew no bounds. Here the team had already been set to work. He was disappointed with the callousness of Dr Abhay with regards getting the required paperwork done.

Sid: You don't have a confirmation from the authorities and you are informing right now.

Riddhima: Dr. Abhay sanction is not a problem The signed papers are submitted. You can go ahead. Best of Luck for the surgery Doctors.............. looking at Sid........

'Once the patient is ready ask someone to inform me and you also take rest for a little while' Instructed Dr. Abhay Sid and left from there completely ignoring Riddhima's presence.  

Sid went to the changing room and stood there looking at his reflection. Her presence was bothering him to the extent that he could not focus. 'Focus Sid............ jo kuch hua Shilpa ke saath uspe tumhara bus nahi tha .......usse rishto ki parvah kab thi tum expect kar rahe the ki woh Shilpa ko apnati ............. mujhe apne gussa ko control karna hoga' He splashed some water on his face as if it would wash away his anger.' 'i can't waste my energy on this .............. iss sab mein uss patient ka kya dosh hai............. i will have to concentrate on the surgery............ I can't let anything to affect me.. I am a doctor ........... the patient is my first priority Focus Sid.' Splashing water once again to cool himself down.

Riddhima sat in her office trying to work but could not concentrate. Sid's angry eyes continued to disturb her. 'It's going to be another lengthy complicated surgery. And that too he could not plan for it. Rest bhi nahi kiya hai .............. kuch khaya bhi hai ya nahi ............ aur upper se mujhe dekh kar upset ho gaya hai.......... shayaad nahi jana chahiye tha uske samne..........' Riddhima knew it was best to keep out of Sid's way now atleast till the surgery was over.

The surgery had started and was progressing well. It was well over 3 hours now. Riddhima was again on her rounds She went across to the OT reception to enquire on the progress of the two surgeries under way. After getting a satisfactory feedback she left a message for Juhi and moved out. On her way towards the cabin she happened to overhear two people talking the supply room

Wardboy 1: Yeah Dr Modi....... bahoot gusse wale lagte hai .......... OT ke liye tayaar hote waqt pata nahi kya hua ......... apni anghothiya aur ghaadi aise utar ke pheki jaise koi kachara pekta hai ........ 

Riddhima was disturbed to hear that Sid was still not able tot come to terms with her presence. All she wished was to that Sid completed the surgery successfully. She knew that if anything was to go wrong then Sid would never be able to forgive himself and will always hold it against himself.
Wardboy 2: arre kachara hi hoga uske liye ...........  foreign se aya hai aur jo mast practice rahegi waha pe......... usko kya farak padta hai .......... ek do angoothiya kum hui toh......

Wardboy 1: yaane .......

Wardboy 2: yaane ............. kuch bhi nahi .........  fumbling on him words ..............

Wardboy 1: tunne......? Suspecting something fishy.

Wardboy 2: maine kya ....... maine kuch nahi .............

Riddhima barged into the room and demanded that the possession be handed over to her. 'Tumhe sharam nahi aati chori karte hua ................. itne saalo se tum Sanjeevani mein kaam kar rahe ho ..........thoda sa bhi khayal nahi aya ...........ki jiss jagah se tumhari rozi roti atti hai wahi tum aise sharamnak harkate karte ho ..................  bahoot saalo se kaam kar rahe ho yaha isliye main directly police ke hawale nahi kar rahi hoon  ............... do ghante mein tum mujhe apna isthifa likh ke doge nahi toh mein action lene pe majboor ho jayungi'

Riddhima had completed her rounds and was in her office working on some files when Juhi came to meet her.

Riddhima: Tumhari surgery ho gayi?

Juhi: Nahi ....... bore ho gaya isliye bheej mein hi chod ke aa gayi

Riddhima: Kya !!! flabbergasted at what Juhi was saying.............

Juhi laughed looking at Riddhima's expression. 'Stupid obviously khatam ho gayi  .........Seriously tumne mazaak bhi nahi samajta............

 Riddhima: tum bhi na ................ tum seriously pagal ho ............ kabhi toh serious hua karo ........
Juhi: kya milega serious ho ke ........... ? jyada salary milne wali hai ?

Riddhima: Well aise stupid jokes ke liye bhi tumhe jyada salary nahi milegi ...........

Juhi: par tumhara aisawala expression toh milta hai na ........... imitating Riddhima's shocked expression.

Riddhima was very amused seeing the how Juhi was imitating her.

Juhi: Aur yeh .......? pointing at her......

Riddhima: Kya? wondering what Juhi was referring to

Juhi: Tumhari smiling chehra........... nahi toh aisa lagta hai ki poori duniya ka bhoj tumhare sir pe dho rahi ho.

Riddhima always appreciated such gestures of Juhi. She was one person who could always bring a smile to her face after Sid she thought. 'Sid'

Juhi: kiske baare mein soch rahi ho ............

Riddhima caught unawares nervously blurted out ...... 'Tum yaha kaise?' ......... forgetting the fact that she herself had left a message for Juhi to meet her.

Juhi: aree tumne hi toh message rakvaya tha isliye milne aayi hoon...........

Riddhima: Kyu phir nahi aati kya............

Juhi confessed sheepishly 'Saach bolu ........... nahi ...........'

It pinched Riddhima that Sid did not want to meet her and now here Juhi was also saying the same.

Juhi realizing her mistake started to clarify her statement. 'Riddhima mere kehne ka matlab yeh nahi tha ............kal surgery hai na ............ Siddhant jo karne wala hai ........... usme mein main usse assist karungi ............ isliye ghar jaldi jaana chahati thi........ Woh mila than a tujhe uske sanction ke liye'

Riddhima: Woh surgery toh aaj hi hai ...........infact abhi chal rahi hai

Juhi: Kya .........kyu ............. aur assist kyon kar raha hai usse?

Riddhima: Nahi actually patient ki condition deteriorate ho rahi thi.............  we could have taken a chance of waiting until tomorrow to operate but chances of permanent impairment would have be very high Tujhe maloom hi hai kya condition mein tha woh

Juhi: Assist kyon kar raha hai .........don't tell me Dr. Abhay ...........

Riddhima: Hmmm

Juhi: Riddhima he is just ok ....... you know that......... upar se..........

Riddhima: I know Juhi but you only said the other day na .......that one can trust one's life in Siddhant's hands and he carry him safely through. "Trust me I know he will"

Juhi looked at Riddhima with disturbed eyes. She was very worried. Riddhima was a little hyper type of a person. But today there was a certain calmness and sureness in Riddhima's tone and face. It seemed to reassure Juhi yet perturbed her.

Juhi: ya ......... anyways kab chalu hui surgery?

Riddhima: Around 4 hours back ............ I think you should go home. Kal bhi tumhari shift kafi early chalu hogi.

Juhi: Hmmmm ab toh do do patients ko monitor karna padega........... Siddhant toh waise bhi aata rahega......... yeh Siddhant ke patient ko bahoot jyada sambhalna padega..... Tum kab jaa rahi hoo.. tum toh mujhse pehle hospital aayi thi ........

Riddhima: Mujhe abhi bhi toda kaam hai ........ todha aur time hai .......

Juhi: waise tumne mujhe milne ko kyu kaha tha ........

Riddhima: Kuch nahi Dr Modi ne surgery already chalo ki hai aur paper work ok hai wohi batana tha....

Juhi: Hmmm ........ mein soch rahi thi if that is fine with you. Can we assign Siddhant a office on a temporary basis?

Riddhima thought for a moment and answered negatively. Riddhima's scheming mind was working to achieve something which her heart had found difficult to digest

Juhi: problem kya hai? Looked at Riddhima curiously. Riddhima always ensured doctor of such calibre was treated almost like a royalty. How come today she was refusing?

Riddhima reasoned with her that Sid would be there only for a little while in the entire day to check up on the patient. Since Juhi would be with him along with Dr. Abhay now then it would be preferable that Sid shares her office. Afterall it was only a matter of few hours in a day.

After giving the idea some thought, Juhi agreed. Juhi indeed felt comfortable with him so it was not such a big deal anyways for her.  'waise theek hi hai..... but one really has to admit Siddhant bahoot acha insaan hai ...........'

Riddhima took the opportunity to broach the topic that she wanted to since morning. 'Tum usse pasand karne lagi ho na?'

Juhi never expected a sly question from Riddhima Hence yet again did not even try to read between the lines. Instinctive she answered affirmatively.

Taking the cue Riddhima continued to probe. 'Bahoot apnapan mehsoos karti ho na uske saath' She was feeling wierd about the whole thing yet was doing it.

Juhi: Woh hai hi aisa........ there is something about him that you feel.......how to describe it .....

Riddhima: Secure.........

Juhi: ya ......secure yes........ like I said he is not like other men ............ you know you can just be yourself.............. he himself is no pretence............... he is simple............ he is so

Riddhima: true hearted ...........

Juhi: exactly ............ ekdum saaf dil ka hai ........  though there are a lot of mysteries attached but then that is a part of his past which he just does not want to revisit. Like he says what's the point it's the past......... why bother about it........ just learn from it and move forward.

Riddhima: par kya woh aage badh paya hai ........

Juhi: He has ......... what all he has told me ......... he worked towards establishing him in his field and is very successful. He has his own priorities, new responsibilities and in a way that is also right. Look at me Do you think I am stuck in my past? That is what life is all about. You have to move on otherwise zindagi tehre hua paani ki tarah ho jaati hai......... jo kisi ke kaam nahi aa sakta ............Par tum kyu itna pooch rahi hoo...........

Riddhima realizing that she may have gone overboard She needed to be tactful or else she would ward off Juhi from thinking further if she was. 'Nahi aise hi ............ maine dekh hai tum dono ko ek saath' It depressed her thinking about the last evening but that was the truth She had to accept it. Accept it for Sid's happiness. 'kaafi achi dosti ho gayi hai aap dono ki isliye poocha.....'

Juhi: Ya ......... he indeed has become a very good friend in a very short while................. it's really difficult how someone can't like him............... i somehow pity his wife ........ how could she not see his qualities.......  

That statement really made felt like a slap for Riddhima's But she knew she did not even deserve a chance to defend herself even if she could.

Juhi: anyways main chalti hoon......... kal milte hai .........

Riddhima: Goodnight...........

As Juhi walked she remembered she was had something that she wanted to pass on to Juhi. But then thought decided against calling her back. Juhi needed rest and she had good few hours to figure out how to execute this task.

She sat in her office completing her work. As hours passed by Riddhima worry was on the increase.   It was almost 11 pm and the surgery was still going on.  Riddhima decided check on the team as to how the surgery was progressing. The OT attendant informed that all was going well and would be done soon.
She sat in her office waiting for the attendant to inform her that the surgery was complete and all was well. With no files left to be worked on she pulled out the packet she had retrieved from the wardboy. She opened it to pull out Sid's watch. It seemed an expensive formal one. 'No wonder the ward boy was swayed at flicking it. 'Sid never liked such stuff' Trying hard to recollect details about him. All she could remember were his vibrant t-shirts and casually worn shirts He was never particular about his looks or clothing.  'But he has definitely changed He looked so mature and professional in his two peice suit all complete with a tie.' An affectionate smile played on her lips as she looked at the remaining contents. 'He still wears these' She smiled looking at the two rings which Sid always wore. 'Some things about him have not changed at all.'

Sid completed the surgery and placed the patient in post operative care. Since he did not find his belonging which he had discarded in the changing room before the surgery he went on to enquire at the OT help desk. Much to his disappointment he did not find any information of it's whereabout there either. He was not surprised at the loss. Anyone would be tempted to pick up a Rolex watch and gold rings. He was too tired to even think about his loss. He simply brushed the thought aside and informed the attendant that he would be in Juhi's office. As he reached Juhi's office a familiar sight waited for him. A tall glass of juice and sandwich was placed on the coffee table in fornt of the couch.

He smiled thinking about Juhi's thoughtful gesture. He was indeed famished. But before he eat that he decided to call Juhi. But them he remembered he had left that with his remaining belongings. Dissapointed that he could not thank Juhi he sat down to grab a bite when the phone rang.

Riddhima: Ok thank you for informing me. Dr Juhi ko disturb karne ki koi zaroorat nahi hai main unhe message kar doongi.
She quickly disconnected the call and messaged Juhi about the successful completion of the surgery. 'Juhi pucca abhi tak sow nahi payi hogi ......... bahoot tension le rahi thi ..........lekin mera usse message karna hi theek tha........... chalo dekhti hoon agar Sid wapis office mein hai ya wahi post operative care team ke saath kaam kar raha hai...........kyu karta hai itna kaam ........

Sid answered the phone 'Hey surgery went off well ........ I have put him into post operative care but I shall wait for couple of hours here itself. I am a little worried how he may respond to this surgery.
Juhi: ok as you wish but pehle cafeteria jaa je kuch kha lo

Sid: Cafeteria jaane ki kya zaroorat ......... tumne already sandwich aur juice toh bhijwa diya hai wahi kha loonga ............. thank you so much for this

Juhi: Maine............ ???? what ???? Maine kuch nahi bhijwaya .............  

Sid: Tumne nahi toh ............. He thought for a moment and once again found the rage building up in him............

Juhi realised that it must have been Riddhima who would have asked the cafe to send the food across.'Shayaad ...........' But before she could complete her sentence Sid cut her 'It's ok ......no issues ........... you take rest I have some work to complete talk to you later........... Bye

Juhi ended the call but the questions troubled her. 'What's the matter why did he sound so disturbed he ended the call also abruptly? So not like him'

Riddhima was once again outside Juhi's office looking at what Sid talking to someone on the phone. She realised that it must definitely be Juhi. She quickly called a passing wardboy and asked him to deliver the bag containing Sid's possessions to him.

Sid stood there looking at the tray of food. 'The other day also Juhi was not here So it was definitely  Riddhima who had arranged the food. Why is she doing this? I don't require anyone's pity Why can't she just leave me alone? Ab kaunsa farz nibha rahi hai........ ? Watching Sid changing facial expressions scared her.

Her curiosity kept her rooted to her spot. She watching Sid as the wardboy handed the bag to him.

Sid: Kisne bheja .........

Wardboy: woh Dr. Juhi ne dene ke liye kaha tha............. aapka saman kimti tha isliye unhone sambhalke rakne ke liye kaha tha...........

Sid: Dr Riddhima ne bheja hai na yeh saman ...........

Wardboy knew he was caught in his lie. He just nodded and turned to leave.

Sid: Rukko ...........yeh khana leke jao.............. mujhe bhook nahi hai .......

Scared by Sid's tone wardboy quickly turned picked up the tray and left.


Thank you for all the wishes. I am feeling much better now but while writting last night again I plonked off to sleep. Hence this short update. I will try to give another one soon if possible. 

Part 53

Wardboy: maine ekdum sahi sahi bola ............jaise aapne kaha tha waise hi............ ki Dr Juhi ne bhijwaya hai .......... par unhone fatse pehchan liya ki aapne bhijwaya woh saara saaman........ pata nahi kaise.....

Riddhima realized that Sid was now aware of her doings and that is why he also sent the food back. All of Riddhima's fears were coming true.

Riddhima: Thank you ......mera kaam karne ke liye........

Wardboy: Iss khane ka kya karo..............?

Riddhima looked at the tray for a moment and asked him to take it away. Sid was not going to eat now she knew. She knew how stubborn he could be and now that he is angry and upset. He will do just what will make it more difficult for him. What worried her more was no one knew how long he he would be required in the hospital. He needed to take care of himself. It was not good for his health to stay hungry like this and he also needed the strength.

A defeated Riddhima retrieved back into her office to ponder about how to get Sid to understand that she meant no harm and get him to eat.

Sid browsed through the articles in the bag. He wondered what Riddhima was doing with those. 'Woh mujhe aur meri cheezo ko akela kyun nahi chod deti Kyu jhooti hamdard dikha rahi hai' disgusted with everything he threw the bag away. He did not want to think further on this. There was no point thinking about all that happened that day. He needed to get some rest so he settled down on the couch to try taking a small nap.Though his resolve was strong he could not get his mind to settle.

Riddhima could not rest either. Sid's anger, his spite and the thought of him not have eaten was killng her inside. She knew she unintentionally had freshened Sid's wounds. Wounds for which she was only was responsible. And now he was just hurting himself. She knew Sid's nature well. She knew he would now definitely not eat if she again tried again. Her presence affected him so badly hurted her. It was now 2 in the night yet sleep eluded her. She sat there in her office thinking. Finally she decided to check on Sid's patient to see if he was coping well. If yes then she could once again try to send Sid home. But unfortunately he had not taken the surgery as well as Purva. This only made Riddhima's agony build up even more rapidly.

As she walked back to her office she saw a person from the post operative team handing over charge to another to take a break. Suddenly an idea struck her. 'Agar yeh Sid ko apne saath le jaye break pe toh shayaad Sid kuch kha le' She quickly walked up to the person.

Riddhima: aap break par jaa rahe ho na?

Dr. Nikhil: Ji kyu?

Riddhima: Dr Siddhant Modi ...........woh jinohne iss patient ki surgery ki ........ woh naye doctor hai yaha pe............. and we need to take care of him............ he has not been for a break and is waiting back to check all is fine or not.............. I am sure you would have to update him ........... So why don't you take him for a break and you give him an update of the case?

Dr. Nikhil: Sure Dr. Riddhima.

Happy with the mission partly accomplished Riddhima heaved a sign of relief. Now she only hoped that Sid would not find out that she has sent Dr. Nikhil to him.

She thought it was best not to lurk around and so she went to office to wait for a confirmation from Nikhil that Sid had taken a break and eaten something.

Nikhil met Sid to give him the update about the patient. Sid knew that his wait in Sanjeevani that night was going to be longer than expected on hearing that the patient was not doing as well as he was expected to do. So when Nikhil told called him for a break he readily took the offer to discuss further on the case.

Riddhima sat in her office for some time waiting for Nikhil's call but finally her patience ran out. She promptly got up and made way to the cafeteria. Once again standing in a dark corner she watched Sid. He was completely engrossed in a serious conversation with Nikhil who was munching on his sandwich. Sid's sombre look did not disturb her as much as the fact that he did not have any food in front of him. He seemed to be sipping on some coffee or tea at the most. Anger was building up in Riddhima Her plan had not worked. Why did she have to meet Sid at all? Why Sid always did this to himself.......... 'Gussa hai toh mujhe jo kehna hai kaho par aise khud ko saaja mat do' She stood there looking at Sid when a wardboy came to inform Nikhil and Sid about something.

There seemed to be some complications which had arisen due to which Sid and rest of the team remained busy for the next two hours.  While Riddhima sat in her office trying to kill time. She didn't have the heart to go home even though she was expected to be in by 10 am next morning. The dreaded thought of having to take on an entire shift without any rest did not bother her.She knew needed to take rest but her mind was set somewhere else
At around 5.30 am Sid came back to Juhi's office. He sat there with a splitting headache. The nurse informed her about Sid's return and Riddhima as usual was on the same spot checking if Sid was fine. Her patience ended seeing Sid's agony. 'Bahoot hogaya ............Main Sid ko apne aap ko aise takleef dete huye nahi dek sakti........kyu apne aap ko itni takleef de raha hai........ bus ab aur nahi ...... agar uske dil mein mere liye gussa hai to yehi sahi .........nikhal do sab mujhpar ......... par ab aur nahi. khud ko takleef dene doongi ............ ek baar saari dil ki bhadaas nikhal gayi toh phir sab theek ho jayega.............
She had made a resolve and nothing was going to come in her way today. Nothing scared her, nor Sid's anger nor his indifference nor his spite.

Over the years, if Sid ate at eratic time then he used to suffer from such headaches 'Lagta hai bhudha hota jaa raha hoon par nahi ....... todha aaram kar loonga toh better feel karonga Balm dekha tha uss din woh laga leta hoon' He sat on the couch trying to ease the pain with a balm from the first aid box but to no avail. He knew he had to eat something and take a pain killer or else it was going to worsen. He still had a couple of more hours before he could go home. He lay on the couch thinking when someone knocked on the door and nervously walked in. Looking at the nervous figure standing in front of him Sid quickly sat up and looked away.

The concern on the lady's face was visible. He craved for that 10 years back but today it was all pointless. She should not be here in the first place. He could not understand why anything related to him bothered this lady. She was no more bound to him by any relationship or duty then what was she trying to prove.

Sid kept looking away from her as if to indicate that she was not existent for him. She was not surprised that today also she still managed to decipher what was going on in his mind. She knew she did not matter to him so she needs to keep it as formal as Sid had kept it this evening 'Thank you for the sanction Doctor'. If not then Sid would not relent and continue his hunger strike to hurt himself. 'Dr. Modi' She called him to seek his attention. But Sid did not seem interested 'Dr. Modi .......... yehi theek hai ........ isse jyada ki umeed bhi mat karna'

'Aapne shaam se kuch theek tarah se khaya nahi hai ........... aura b aapka sar bhi dard kar raha hai ............yaha pe dudh rakh rahi hoon please pee lejiye aur painkiller bhi kha lijye ...................aapko aaram milega'

Sid continued to look away from the lady. Her sight her voice her presence bothered him But he could not keep his thoughts off her. 'Isse kaise maloom ki mere sar mein dard hai..........aur yeh abhi tak hospital mein kya kar rahi hai ............ abhi tak ghar nahi gayi..........kya saari raat yahi thi...........shayaad koi emergency thi ...........isiliye........ lekin baar baar yeh sab kyu kar rahi hai ....... Jaane do .............Mujhe kya karna hai ............ mujhe iske saath kuch bhi sarokar nahi rakna hai...............jo apni behen ki na ho saki woh ab mere saath itni hamdardi kyu dikha rahi hai .............'

Riddhima set the glass of milk down on the table along with the medicine. She knew that Sid needed to be coaxed and reasoned with.

'Abhi bhi aapko kuch time hai ghar jaane ko toh aapko apne aap ka dyaan rakhna padega.............khud ke liye nahi toh apne patient ke liye' Sid kept looking away He was not going to let all this affect him. He was here for a reason and he knew he had to concentrate only on that. He knew what Riddhima was saying was not incorrect. Yet coming from her it felt strange. Why was she bothered? She never ever bothered about him or Shilpa in all these years then why today. He could once again feel the rage building up in him. 'Meri zindagi mere patient kyu nahi chod deti hum sab ko akela..........par jo bhi ho jaye aaj mein iss sab ka asar nahi padne doonga..........Iss baar tumhare jhoot ko sach manne ki galati nahi karonga.' As firm was Sid's resolve so was Riddhima's But somewhere deep down she knew that Sid had closed her out. If she had to react he would have done so earlier but now all that she could do is leave him there to reason it out and hope that he relents. 'Please Dr. Modi Please kuch kha lijiye Please' Saying this she quietly left once again feeling helpless.

As the footsteps slowly died down, Sid turned to look in it's direction. He noticed the glass of milk which Riddhima had set on the table for him along with the painkiller.
'Yeh jo keh rahi hai woh bhi theek hai. Mujhe aur bhi kuch time yaha pe rukna padega. Kuch na kuch khana hi padega.'
But somehow he could not get himself to set his hands on it. He just sat there staring at it.
Wardboy: Dr Siddhant .......aapke patient ko hosh aagaya hai ...........

Sid: Hmmm............main atta hoon..........  He quickly got up and left to check on the patient But not before once again glancing at what Riddhima had left for him. 'Does she really care?'

Sid finished checking on the patient and recommended constant observation for him for another couple of hours. This meant another few hours in the hospital.l Hence he promptly decided to go to the cafeteria to have a grub. He could not handle his fatigue and hunger any more.

Riddhima was once again on her rounds for the nth time just to check if someone needed any help. If at all she was required. As she passed Juhi's office she noticed it was empty but the glass of milk set by her was still there untouched. Looking at the sight in front of her eyes she felt as if something died in her. She aimlessly walked through the corridors of Sanjeevani. Her belief once again reaffirmed that she was definitely not required in this person's life. It was nearing day break now. Riddhima turned towards the cafeteria to grab a coffee and make an early start to her day.

Life would have to go on she knew. She had to live with this. But life at times gives you those unexpected pleasures for which all hopes are dead. 'Sid!!!!!'

He sat there peacefully chatting with another member from the post operative team. But this time he was nimbling on an early morning breakfast.

Riddhima's happiness knew no bounds. Now somehow it did not matter that he did not look her way, did not take her name, did not relent to taking her help. What mattered was Sid was now going to be fine. She knew it.


Part 54

Juhi took a quick update from the ICU attendant. Before starting on the shift and the appointments for the day she decided to go to her office to drop off her bag and grab her stethoscope. She quickly walked into her office completely engrossed in setting up the iternary for the day mentally, placed her bag, picked up the stethoscope and started scanning through the files on her desk to check if any were needed. She was browsing through the files when the housekeeping personnel walked in to clean the room. She continued with her files while the housekeeping personnel cleaned the room.

On his way out the Housekeeping Personnel asked Madam iska kya karo ?

Juhi looked up from the files to notice the tray that Riddhima had placed on the coffee table the previous night.

Housekeeping Personnel: Aap yeh peene wale hai ?

Juhi walked up to the coffee table. 'Yeh kisne rakha yaha pe ...?' .

Housekeeping Personnel: Pata nahi?

Juhi was wondering why there was a glass of milk there when her eyes fell on the tablet lying besides it. She picked it up to check what it was 'Painkiller...??? Shayaad Siddhant ne mangwaya hoga... par painkiller ...duper tak toh theek lag raha tha... shayaad baad mein ...he was here for quite sometime ... but then why did he not drink this ...

Housekeeping Personnel: Madam kya karo inka...?

Juhi: Clear kar do ...

She brushed her thoughts aside, placed the pain killer back in the tray and continued with her work.

The day was slow. Sid reassured that all was fine with the patient had left to go home to take some rest while Riddhima started her shift early went about doing her routine tasks. Riddhima's demeanor clearly showed signs of the sleepless night she had spent and Juhi was quick to catch it. Seeing Riddhima such was not new for Juhi. Everytime armaan was in town or she was staying over at armaan's house Riddhima would turn up like this in the hospital. But there was something that seemed different about Riddhima today.

Juhi: Riddhima tum itni jaldi hospital mein...tumhari toh 10 baje ki shift thi na?

Riddhima: Actually ... aise hi ... waise bhi ghar pe bait ke kya karungi...

Juhi: ab toh woh bhi tension nahi hai Riddhima... tumhara apna ghar hai ... aur waise bhi kaafi kuch abhi bhi set karna hoga na...

Riddhima knew if was difficult to avoid Juhi once she has decided to get under the skin on the matter. She understood that Juhi had caught her. But she had to try hiding facts. She did not want anyone to know why she was there last night.

Riddhima: Sab abhi kar diya toh Saturday Sunday boring ho jayenge...

Juhi: Oh yes...!!! Now you don't need to come to the hospital on Saturday and Sundays ...  you don't have to avoid anyone or anything... ab toh sukun ki zindagi hogi ...

Riddhima just nodded affirming Juhi's beliefs about her. She did not want to continue on the conversation fearing that once again Juhi would make her confess something which she did not want to.

As they walked through the corridors of Sanjeevani Juhi continued to observe Riddhima. 'Kuch toh hai Riddhima argue nahi kar rahi hai...' She mentally started replaying the conversation in her mind. She knew there was something she had missed somewhere. 'you don't have to avoid anyone or anything... armaan jab bhi India mein hota tha tab tab Riddhima ki halaat dekhi hai ... aur jab nahi tha tab uske ghar mein rehna yaane uske saath bitaye saare pal ko wapis jeene ki tarah tha... .. Pata nahi kaise aaj tak khud ko sambhala hai usne...I wonder how come she did not suffer breakdown till now... Riddhima ek machine ki tarah ho gayi thi ...ek  zinda laash... jiski saasein toh chal rahi hai ...lekin jee nahi rahi ... aaj bhi utni hi tired lag rahi hai jaise uss waqt lagti thi ... ek pal ke liye uske aankhon sukun nahi dekha tha maine itni saalo mein ...Sukun... aur aaj... '

Juhi: Riddhima...

Riddhima turned to look at Juhi 'Kya hua?'

Juhi looked at Riddhima carefully for a moment as if she was checking if the last peice of puzzle named Riddhima fitted. 'Sukun!!!'  Nahi kuch nahi Riddhima ...aise hi... chalo mein chalti hoon ...kal ke do patients ko wapis check karna hai ... main tumhe baad mein milti hoon lunch ke liye...

Riddhima nodded and walked towards the ward she was planning to visit. While Juhi made way towards to the ICU lost in her thoughts. 'Itne saalo mein maine Riddhima mein ek badlav dekha hai ... tired thi lekin uski aankhen ... khushi thi unn mein sukun tha...acha laga usse aise dekh kar... '

The fatigue from the sleepless night and hunger did not seem to bother Riddhima. She went through the routine like any other day but she felt different. She behaved different. Unlike other days she was a little chatty with the staff.

Riddhima: Kaise hai aap Sister Nirmala ... sab theek hai?

Sister Nirmala: Jee Dr Riddhima everything is fine here sab kaam time se ho gaya hai?

Riddhima: Main aap ke baare mein pooch rahi thi ...? a warm smile flashed across.

Sister Nirmala: Jee Ma'am ... main theek hoon...' confused as to what she should expect next from Riddhima. A person who hardly talked anything outside work was enquiring about her wellbeing surprised her. Riddhima kept an approachable behaviour always. In case anyone had a problem they would not hesitate to seek help but not ever try to strike a random conversation. Apart from Juhi Riddhima never indulged much in any conversations apart from work with anyone else.

She continued checking her patients. Her changed behaviour was becoming more and more evident.

It was towards afternoon that Juhi came searching for Riddhima towards the general wards. She stood at the nurse station when she heard two interns who were passing by talk.

Intern 1: Last night acha hua Dr Riddhima thi nahi toh hamari pakki aaj parade karva dete Dr Singhania.

Intern 2: Waise galati unki thi ... phir bhi Senior Doctor hai kaun kya bolega... par haan Dr Riddhima ne sambhal liya... aur extra duty se chutkara bhi de diya nahi toh rehna padta aaj bhi der tak ...

Intern 1: Yeh Dr Singhania...khadoos sala ... kya problem hai usko maloom nahi ...

Intern 2: Waise Dr Riddhima kya kum hai ... lekin aaj kaafi achi tarah se pesh aa rahi thi ... mujhe toh shock laga ... kaise Sister Nirmala ko poocha ...Kaise hai aap ...

Intern 1: Sister Nirmala toh pucca faint ho wali thi aise lag raha tha... laughing out loud recollecting the look on Sister Nirmala's face.

Juhi was not too stunned to hear that Riddhima was there in the hospital in the night. It was quite normal to spend extra time in the hospital. 'lekin aaj kya problem hai khud ka ghar hai ...she has her own space but then what is she running away from right now'
She turned to the interns and called out to them. Seeing Dr Juhi they both got a little worried that she might have overheard their conversation.

Intern1: Jee Dr Juhi ...

Juhi: Aap dono kaunsi shift mein hai ?

Intern 2: Night shift 11 to 8 ...
Juhi: Toh ab tak yaha kya kar rahe hai ...

Intern 1: Woh Dr Singhania ne punishment di ... extra hours karne ki ...

Juhi: Kyu?

Intern 2: Woh actually Bed no 16 ke sugar levels high ho gaye the... unke treatment chart mein unka dosage mentioned nahi tha... toh humne Dr Riddhima ko consult kiya jab woh apne rounds pe thi...

Juhi: Ok...

Intern 1: Toh unko jab pata chala toh unhe laga ki humari duty end hone wali thi isliye hum kaam avoid kar rahe the.

Juhi: yeh kab ki baat hai ...

Intern 1: Subah ke kuch 7 baaje honge...

Juhi: hmmm theek hai ... aap javo ... Riddhima subah 7 baje yaha thi ... yahe woh ghar nahi gayi...

She was lost in her thoughts when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned to find Riddhima waiting for her with a faint smile on her face.

Riddhima: Chale ... mujhe bahoot bhook lagi hai ...

Juhi: hmmm ...

As they sat down in the cafeteria eating their lunch Juhi was still lost in her thoughts. She could not decipher what was bothering Riddhima. Was she comtemplating her decision of leaving armaan's house to be a mistake? Maybe. She may have a made a decision that is why she seems to be at peace. She knows the road ahead maybe now. But what was her decision. She continued to obverse Riddhima who was completely engrossed in eating her meal which she seemed to be enjoying very much. 'Canteen food and enjoying?' the thought did not fail to amuse her. 'Agar raat bhar kuch nahi khaogi toh bhook toh lagegi na ...'

Riddhima startled with Juhi's comment almost choked on the bite. Juhi quickly handed her a glass of water. 'Yeh Juhi hamesha kaise jaan leti hai sab kuch'

Juhi: Kaise maloom hai soch rahi hoo na ...?

Riddhima once again nervous. 'Woh actually kal bhook hi nahi lagi isliye ...aur phir der se khana khane ka yaane all other problems... acidity indigestion...

Juhi: Aur raat bhar jagna ...continuous duties karna ...woh health ke naya mantra hai na...

Riddhima: Tumhe kaise maloom ... main ...raat bhar hospital mein hoon...

Juhi: Tumhe kya lagta hai ... mujhe pata nahi chalega tum aaj kal kya kya kar rahi hoo...

Riddhima was scared if Juhi knew about Sid and her. ... 'Kya kar rahi hoon main?' nervously questioned Juhi.

Juhi: chalo khana nahi khaya ... raat bhar hosptital mein kya kar rahi thi...ab toh khud ka ghar hai ...ghar kyu nahi gayi ... are you comtemplating your decision...?

Riddhima: Kaunsa?

Juhi: armaan ka ghar chodna...?

Riddhima: Nahi ... bilkul nahi ... that chapter is closed for me ... main uss baare soch nahi rahi hoon and nahi hi sochna chahati hoon...

Juhi: Phir ghar kyu nahi gayi?

Riddhima: Aise hi ... kal staff thoda kum tha isliye...

Juhi: Riddhima maine attendance register dekha hai ... please ... we were full staff... don't give me that crap... kya pareshani hai ... kya woh toh nahi ...?

Riddhima was scared out of her wits. 'Nahi ...aise kuch nahi hai ... main toh sirf...' blurted out nervously but could not know assimiliate what she wanted to say. She was completely at loss of words.

Juhi: sirf kya?

Riddhima: Main ...Main ...actually bahoot jyada akela feel kar rahi thi isliye ... hospital mein ruk gayi ... Papa ke ghar jaane ka bhi maan nahi tha... agar unhe kuch pata chala toh mere aur armaan ke baare mein toh tension lena chalo karte...

Juhi: But this is bound to happen ... if you plan to stay alone kya har raat hospital mein katne ka irada hai ... Get real...

Riddhima: Kya tumhe akela pun nahi satata ...? trying hard to stir the conversation in another direction.

Juhi: Haan ...kabhi kabhi ... miss karti hoon Rishab ko par iska yeh matlab nahi ki main hospital mein 24 ghante padi rahoo... isse halatoh se bhagna kehte hai ...

Riddhima: Toh kya karo bolo...?

Juhi: sirf kaam kaam kaam will not help ... take up some hobby, do something ... Bahar jao ... logo se milo ...


Riddhima: isliye naye dost bana leye
Juhi: Look here Riddhima... now offended with Riddhima's comment... naya dost bana liya hai par purane ko bhuli nahi hoon aur ...i am not using Siddhant to just wild some time while he is here. I genuinely like him


My apologies an extremely short update Will try to give one tomorrow also. With something most are waiting for ..Wink

Part 55
Those words were ringing in her ears. 'I genuinely like him' 'Sid seems so relaxed when he is with her........ Sid!!! ...........aur main toh yehi chahati hoon ki Sid khush rahe......... Juhi Sid ko pasand karti hai.......'

Juhi: Riddhima ..........Riddhima .......... what happened.......???

Riddhima snapped back to reality. 'Juhi ..........main tumse ek baat kahu

Juhi: Haan.........

Riddhima: Sid.......dhant ek bahoot achaa insaan hai .............

Juhi: Have you met him that you are saying that..............?

Riddhima: Kabhi kabhi ........ yeh sab cheeze bemayane ho jaati hai.......... ek nazaar mein hi bata chal jaata hai ki kaise hai ek insaan ...........aur kabhi saalo apni bitane ke baad bhi maan maane ko tayaar nahi hota ki ek insaan aisa bhi ho sakta hai............

Juhi: Tum kehna kya chahati ho..???

Riddhima snapped out of the trance that she was slipping into once again. 'Juhi ......... main itne saalo baad bhi kabhi kabhi sochti hu ki armaan kaise aise kar sakta hai........... lekin ...........Siddhant ko dekte hi pata chalta hai ki kitne saaf dil ka insaan hai woh.......... '

Juhi: Haan toh !!! annoyed as to what Riddhima was trying to say ......... She could not decipher what she was heading towards.

Riddhima: Tum aur Sid.......dhant ......... aap dono ........ uss ......... din .......

Juhi: hmmmmmmm

Unknowingly Riddhima gripped the cutlery so hard that her knuckles started going red. 'Tum .......dono ........ ek doosre ke .........saath ............. bahoot .............kareeb ........... aa chuke ........?

Juhi: I think........................ suddenly realizing what Riddhima had said ......... 'what ...........'

Riddhima: I mean .......... not wanting to give away the fact that she had seen them together ........ 'tum dono ek doosre ke kareebi dost ban chuke ho ...........aur tumne hi kaha ki tum usse bahoot pasand karti ho............ toh............kya .............

Juhi: kya???

Riddhima: I mean ...........

Juhi: Tum kehna kya chaha rahi ho?

Riddhima: I mean ........... 

'Dr Juhi you are required at the sixth floor nurse desk immediately.' an announcement sounded .....

Juhi: I have to go ............

Riddhima nervously nodded her head.

Juhi: We will talk later .............

Riddhima once again just nodded in agreement though not knowing why she did that. She did not want to talk about this. She was hurting. Such was the intensity of that pain that she felt numb. Each word she spoke today was killing her inside. She felt like running to a dark corner of the world where she could lock away the memories of that evening where she had seen Sid and Juhi together in the lab.

She completed her shift quickly that day and left to go home. It had become a habit for Juhi and Riddhima to inform the other before leaving for the day but today Riddhima did not even feel like meeting anyone leave alone Juhi. She felt sudden bitterness towards everything. Why? Was it because Juhi like Sid? Or was it because Sid preferred Juhi's company while he did not even once look her way? Why did it hurt so much when all she wanted was Sid's happeness? She sat lost in her thoughts at home till wee hours of the morning. Sleep eluded her. The photograph which had found its way home from the locked drawer of her office now adorned an ornate photoframe.  

'Sid....... Juhi ...........meri sab se achi dost hai ........... tumhe maloom hai jab bhi akela mehsoos karti thi tab hamari photo ko dekti thi .................ya phir Juhi se baat kar leti thi ........... ekdum tumhari tarah hai woh .....' an affectionate smile played on her lips for a moment 'hamesha usne mujhe samjha ........ mera hosla badhaya .......... par aaj .......... kyu itna gussa aa raha hai ........' Riddhima could not seem to handle this dark side of her. How could she be angry with Juhi or hold anything against her .Did she hate her? It was not Juhi's fault that things did not work out between Sid and her. It is perfectly correct to seek one's happiness. She deserved every bit of it. 'Kyu aa raha hai itna gussa............main toh yahi chahati thi ki tum aage badho kush raho ........... aur Juhi ....jaise Shilpa ko lekar dar tha mere mann mein ki woh armaan galat rah par leke jayegi waisi bhi koi cheez nahi hai ..... main jaanti hoon Juhi har tarah se layak hai ............. aur main hi chahati thi ki aap dono kareeb aye ..... toh phir kyu nahi handle kar paa rahi hoon ye kareebi......... main aisa kyu mehsoos kar rahi hu .......... khud se bhi nafrat hone lagi hai ............kya ho raha hai mujhe Sid ......... Bolo na Sid please bolo ........... kyu mujhe tumhe aur Juhi ko ek saath dekh kar gussa aa raha hai ................... kya main aaj bhi tumse ............. ???? Nahi aisa kuch nahi hai ............. aisa kuch ho hi nahi sakta......... aur yahi sahi hai sab ke liye .........


Part 56

Sid woke up by late afternoon. Sid always was a heavy sleeper but today his sleep was disturbed. He sat up in bed after a good 7 hours sleep but he still felt tired. He looked at the phone to check for calls or messages which he had missed. Since there were none from Sanjeevani or Juhi he gathered that all was fine with the patient.
He sat up in bed thinking about the happenings of the previous day. 'Riddhima ......... Woh pehle se jaanti thi ki main wahi hoon........usse raat bhi khana usne hi bhijwaya tha .......aur mujhe laga ki Juhi ne ..........aur kal raat ......woh dudh woh dawai..........usse kaisa pata chala ki mere sir mein dard tha..........aur woh itni der hospital mein kyu ruki thi...........Kyu kar rahi hai yeh sab? Sabit kya karna chahati hai? Ki kitni fikar hai usse meri........ kyu yeh hamdardi ka natak kar rahi hai .......... jo uske apne hai unhe toh ek baar mudke dekha bhi nahi ...... sab kuch jaan ke bhi anjaan ban kar chali gayi ........ mujhse toh kabhi koi rishta tha bhi nahi.......... toh ab yeh sab kyu ....... taras kha rahi hai mujhe pe phirse ............. aur agar Shilpa ke baare mein pata chala toh ......... phir se na aa jaye apna farz nibhane ........ koi zoroorat nahi hai hume ................. shayaad mujhe jaana hi nahi chahiye tha waha pe........ ab aur nahi ....... bus yeh ek case aur bus....... mein aaj hi saari tayari karna chalo kar deta hoon........ Rohan ke zyada se zyada ek term miss hoga ........ theek hai ........ manage kar lenge kuch na kuch par Rohan par aise logo ka saaya bhi nahi chahiye mujhe......'

Juhi was still disturbed with what was going on with Riddhima. Riddhima looked physically stressed but there was this tranquility in her eyes which Juhi had never seen except for once. She stressed hard on her memory but she could not locate that exact occasion. 'Riddhima ke dimaag mein kuch na kuch chal raha hai ........ aaj uska behaviour bahoot jyada ajeeb tha....... sab se jaise baat kar rahi thi...... aur mujhse........ Siddhant aur mere ke baare kya kehne ki koshish kar rahi thi........ kya chal raha hai uske dimaag mein ........mujhe Riddhima ke saath baat karni hogi .......'
Juhi remained busy for most part of the day. In the evening when she went to check on Riddhima she came to know that she had already left for the day. 'Mujhe bina bataye........... itni saalo mein kabhi nahi kiya aisa......... kya hogaya hai Riddhima ko......... kuch toh hai ..... nahi toh aisa kabhi nahi behave karti ...........' Though Juhi tried to reason with Riddhima's behaviour it hurt Juhi that Riddhima did not wait for her that day. Juhi so wanted to talk it out with Riddhima and thought of calling her but later decided that it would be best to give Riddhima her space. Juhi knew Riddhima if she does not want to speak, she would keep beating round the bush Hence it was important that Juhi confronts her in person. A dejected Juhi left to go home completely unaware that she had intentionally already provoked Riddhima to understand her feelings.

Sid made a brief visit to check on the patient. Sanjeevani, a place he never wanted to return to. A place that had given him wounds which he would maybe nurse till his dying day. He did not want to be associated with this place but had to for the sake of his patients, his first priority. He was on a mission and he was not going to let anything affect that.

=======================================================================

Lack of sleep from two consequtive night had taken its toll on Riddhima. Exhustion was evident from her face.  She was still not sure as to why she was experiencing such change of feelings towards Juhi. She definitely felt a little vunerable and she knew that Juhi would make the most of it if she engaged her in a conversation again. 'Mujhe Juhi se door rehna hoga nahi toh woh wapis uss din ke baat ko na leke bait jaye' But today was not Riddhima's day, she had almost completed her rounds when she bumped into Juhi.

Juhi was quick the read the story that Riddhima's face told 'Riddhima ....... kaisi ho ........?'

Riddhima: Main theek hoon. There was a certain level of coldness in Riddhima's tone which surprised both Juhi and Riddhima.It was a question asked out of genuine concern then why was there so much of indifferent towards this concern. Both could not answer this question.

Juhi reluctant to let this coldness affect her wanted to probe further but before she could, Riddhima quickly excused herself on pretext of some work and walked away from there even before Juhi can react. Juhi knew that Riddhima was extremely moody but never rude towards anyone's feelings. But when Riddhima left abruptly, it only deepened Juhi's concern further.

Riddhima made sure she stayed out Juhi's path for the remainder part of the day. The thought of Sid visiting the hospital also did not pull her to Juhi's office that day. She rapidly worked through all her appointments and headed towards the final rounds of the hospital. She wanted to avoid everything that made her feelings resurface. Those feelings were too overwhelming and she did not want to confront those again.
She also knew that if she waited back then Juhi would definitely try picking up the conversation from where it was left the previous day.
She just wanted to complete her work and leave for the day. But destiny has its own ways to make humans confront things which they want to run away from.

She checked on the status of the patients in the ICU section with the respective doctors one by one. Sid's patient was placed in a separate room for complete isolation. As she passed that room something seemed to bother Riddhima. She looked inside to notice that the assigned nurse was missing. She walked in and rang the buzzer to call the attendant. As she browsed through the patient's chart she noticed something unusual. The pain relief medication dosage was greatly reduced in the past 12 hours. As the healing process continued the dosage should have been diluted but here it was done so quickly bothered her. Sever pain could also result in complications such a loss of conscientiousnessthus giving way to other complications. She had to understand why this was being done. She quickly moved out of the room to meet the doctor incharge.

Riddhima: Dr. Abhay ........ yeh pain killers ka dosage itna reduce kyu kiya gaya hai .............

Dr. Abhay: Well ma'am the patient is responding fine now isliye todha reduce kiya hai .......

Riddhima: Have you consulted Siddhant about this?

Before Abhay could answer the alarm sounded from inside the room. The patient was loosing conscienceness. Riddhima and Abhay quickly rushed in as the other medical team followed. The next hour was crucial for the patient. The team somehow managed to save the patient from losing conscientiousnessand stabalize him. Riddhima supervised the team till all was back to normal.

Riddhima: Aap constantly monitor kijiye patient ko aur ek min ke liye bhi koi inhe unsupervised nahi chodega............ not even a since min........... am i understood?

The team nodded in affirmation. 'Aur aap Dr Abhay aap mujhe aur Dr. Juhi ko ek ghante ke baad miliye ........aapse baat karni hai.

Riddhima returned to her office and informed Juhi about the happening.

Riddhima: Juhi I have called for a meeting I want you to be there. Thodi aur der ho jaati toh bahoot bada problem ho jata.............kya jawaab dete Sid ko ............. agar kuch ho jata toh...........

Juhi was so disturbed with the happening that she failed notice what Riddhima had just said: I know ..............it was very irresponsible of Dr Abhay ............ I think we need to give him a warning for this ..I will meet you in sometime..........

They both met up with Abhay to address the issue. Riddhima always maintained that 'Log galati karke hi sikhate hai' But indeed one should be cautious how one's actions affects others. They explained to Dr Abhay the gravity of his actions. As Juhi has some more appointments to take care of so she left after the meeting. While Riddhima continued to work on some files which she intended to complete the following day. She had completely forgetten that about two hours back she had decided that she would go home as she did not want to meet Juhi or Sid.

Sid was in Sanjeevani to check on his patient. Events from the previous days once again brought back the rigidness in his stance. He just wanted to stick to his work and want anything more association with this place. He quickly walked up to the ICU to check on his patient. He checked the patient and started reading his patient's chart. As he read through it he felt his temper rising. In no time he understood what may have happened there. The alteration of medications had led to the patient almost losing conscientiousness. Why was he not consulted before making such alterations? The irresponsibility of the staff infuriated him. All the efforts would have been wasted due to this small lapse of judgement. A person life put at stake for no apparent reason. He had to know who did this.

Sid: Who was the doctor here when this happened?

His eyes burned with anger. The nurse stood there petrified trying hard to recollect who it was when the patient started losing conscientiousness. She knew whoever she named would be subject to Sid's wrath that day.

Sid: Who was it?

Nurse: Sir.............. shayaad Dr. Riddhima............... haan Dr. Riddhima thi yaha pe

Sid swore under his breath gritting his teeth in rage 'Riddhima!!!' He turned and briskly strode out of the room in search of the person who had done much damage to his life and today seemed to the reason for putting his patient's life in danger.

He walked up to the nurse station and almost screamed 'Riddhima ka office kaha hai'

Looking at Sid the nurses knew that today Riddhima was going to be subjected to this man's wrath. One of the nurses nervously answered '4th floor'

Riddhima completely unaware of Sid searching for her, made way towards the labs on the sixth floor.

When Sid did not find Riddhima in her office His rage knew no bounds. He stopped the first person he saw and enquired about Riddhima.

Wardboy: Dr Riddhima 6th floor pe hogi.

He could not handle his anger any longer. His body trembled with rage. The people passing by immediately step out of his way, fearing that he would engulf them in his flames of his fury.

Impatience was building up in Sid He quickly ran up the stairs to the sixth floor now frantically searching for Riddhima ' his culprit 'How dare she do this? Samajti kya hai woh khud ko Woh hume chot pe chot deti rahegi aur hum ghav sehte rahenge Bus ab aur nahi Mein apni patient's ko tumhare haath ka khilona nahi bane dunga'

Riddhima stood in on of the labs at the end of the corridor working on a file. She had managed to keep Juhi at bay but time and again she had to interact with her. She dreaded every moment that Juhi would restart the conversation left unfinished. Once again she needed Juhi's help on the report. She asked the nurse desk to page Juhi and ask her to meet her in the 6th floor labs.

As she put the phone down she heard the door slammed shut behind her. She flinched as the voice spoke, deep husky laden with anger. 'How dare you?'

'Siddhant!!!'  she slowly turned to meet Sid's eyes She could feel his body trembling with rage. She had never seen such raw anger ever before. She could not hold up her gaze. As she stood there with her head down receiving every verbal blow.

'How dare you? Hamari zindagi ke saath khilvad karke tumhara jee nahi bhara ........ ki ab mere patients ke saath aise kar rahi ho..............aaj tumhari wajah se woh patient maut ke muh pe khada tha.......... kya hota uska, uske gharwalo ka ......... apno ko jab koi marte hua dekhta hai tab kya ghuzarti hai maloom bhi hai ...........kaise hoga ............'

The intensity of his words his emotions told the story of the pain he has suppressed in him for all this time. Riddhima stood there as her body had turned into stone. For a moment she picked up her gaze to look at him only to see his eyes turning darker with rage. Every word he spoke pierced her.

'kabhi kisi ko apna mana hi nahi ......... sab kuch ek natak tha .............'

She realized the damage she had done to him Ten years had passed by and yet there was so much much anger within him. She could not handle the sight in front of her that her heart cringed.
'aur ab woh khana meri cheeze sambhalke rakna kya prove karna chahati ho tum............ ki bahoot fikar tumhe meri .......... mujhse jude cheezo ki ............. mujhe tumhari koi zaroorat nahi hai ............ aur nahi mere patients ko ..............Akela kyu nahi chod deti mujhe ....... I don't want you anywhere near anything that is associated with me............. chali jao meri zindagi se Akela chod do mujhe ............... Do you get that?'

Such was the intensity of his voice that Riddhima quickly stepped back as if accepting the judgment pronounced on her. 


Hey All .............thank you so much for your comments ............ I want to reply but as usual I am really tight of schedule ............ I was drafting this right after the previous update was up but could not finish it yesterday and right now also I wanted to continue but then the next scene will be a long one which will take a long time to draft If was to do that then this update would have been up only Saturday morning........ So I thought a short one before that ......... here it is .........

Part 57

Juhi walked towards the lab which was situated at the end of the corridor. She noticed Riddhima standing timidly with her head down while a man was talking to her. From the distance she could not recognize the person as his back was towards her but she could clearly make out that the conversation was far from pleasant. The man's aggressiveness towards Riddhima was clearly visible. Instinctively Juhi steps quicken. Why did Riddhima look so helpless? Was the man threatening her with something?

Riddhima wanted to say something but words failed her. She wanted to cry but her eyes refused to shed any tears. She just stood there taking in each word said by Sid.

'Akela chod do mujhe ............... Do you get that?'

It was all over. Nothing could ever undo the damage done. She had to now live with this guilt and hatred for the rest of her life. She knew there was no redemption anymore.

The slightest amount of stress or worry on this person's face would have propelled Sid into action to ensure all was fine. But today it did not make an ounce of difference to him. She looked so weak and pathetic that she could crumble any moment.

He gave her once last look indicating that it was long over and no more would be tolerated and walked out of the room.

Juhi was shocked to see that the person leaving the lab was none other than Sid. A mild mannered, soft spoken person behaving so aggressively that too with Riddhima a person whom he did not know at all.

Juhi stood there bewildered for a moment. On one side there was Riddhima who looked as if she would collapse any moment while on the other hand there was Sid who had sounded an ultimatum on his way out.
                                                                                                     
'Dr Juhi I am listing some test for the patient I need reports in 1 hour from now sharp. If not, be rest assured I shall sue your hospital and you all will be sorry for the rest of your lives that a patients life was endangered. And mind you I do not want that woman anywhere near my patient'

In a moment Juhi realized the reason behind what must happened between Sid and Riddhima. Sid's anger was justifiable but why did he want Riddhima to be kept away. She was the one who actually avoiding the disaster from taking place. She turned to look at Riddhima who still stood there like a statue. She was short on time but she could not leave Riddhima in such a state there. She quickly rushed into the room.

Juhi: Riddhima ............ Riddhima .......... tum theek ho?

Slowly Riddhima's eyes welled up. 'Riddhima kuch nahi hua hai ............. Siddhant did not mean any of it. Trust me. We shall handle it don't worry.

How much ever she wanted to believe it she knew that was not the case. She just stood there numb Seeing Riddhima's condition and Sid's aggressive behaviour Juhi was worried if Sid had overstepped his limits. 'Riddhima ......... kya hua .......did Siddhant ........?'

That question was enough to bring Riddhima out of the stupefied trance. 'Nahi ........... kuch nahi hua....... main theek hoon'

Juhi still not convinced 'Phir hua kya .......tumhari aisi halat hai aur waha Siddhant hai ki........'
Riddhima: Sid itna gusse mein tha........' Juhi......Siddhant bahut gusse mein hai ........... woh kuch kar na baithe ......... please tum jaa kar usse dekho......... try explaining to him ....... '

Juhi tried to calm Riddhima's anxiety 'woh kuch nahi karega ....... I know he is angry and he is threatening to sue Sanjeevani but trust me once he knows we did not mean any harm intentionally he will be fine......... '

Riddhima: Juhi tum nahi jaanti ........woh bahoot gusse mein tha ..........tum please jao please ........ please.......

Juhi: Riddhima .......lekin tum

Riddhima: main theek hoon tum please jao.............

Juhi was unable to understand Riddhima's anxiety for a person who had just threatened Riddhima and her of sueing them. She definitely had to make sure that the situation did not go out of hand further and for that what Riddhima was suggesting was correct. She needed to go and check on Sid and also have the reports scheduled.
Riddhima looked at Juhi walked away in search of Sid. She wondered how she could have been cold towards this person's concern A person who always stood by her just like Sid.

Sid once again went to check on the patient and listed down a couple of tests to be conducted.  He wanted to be sure that incident did not cause any damage to the patient.

Sid:  Yeh test karva lijiye aur mujhe 1 ghante mein report chahiye...........

He moved out of the room but his mind was still stuck on the incident. He was walking up to the nurse station where Juhi was waiting for him.

Juhi: Siddhant .....

Sid: Maine test list down kar de hai ...........

Juhi: Don't worry ........all will be fine ......... I will get the tests done asap ............

Sid: All better be fine ..........or else i seriously will not spare anybody ............ and yes ........what is the procedure for shifting out the patient.

Juhi: What ???

Sid: If the patient is fine then I plan to shift out the patient

Juhi: Are you crazy Siddhant? I will not allow anything of the kind.

Sid: He is my patient and I know what is good for him.

Juhi: I know he is your patient but shifting him out in this condition may not prove very good

Sid: Keeping him here has also not proven very good either right.........aaj jo hua agar woh dubara hua toh .........

Juhi: Dr. Siddhant mana galati hui hai but we did manage to save him ..........

Sid: My decision is final

Juhi: I think tum overreact kar rahe ho ............

Sid: Dr. Juhi can you please get the tests done let me know the procedure for shifting out the patient, Thank you


And here is the update .............sorry late but better late than never right ......... chalo now i will not bore you more


Part 58

Riddhima was still trying to come to terms with Sid's accusations. 'Apna maan ke kuch tumhare liye kuch karne ki koshish ki maine woh bhi tumhe ek naatak laga ........ shayaad tumne hi mujhe apna nahi ...... lekin phir bhi aaj bhi itna gussa itni nafrat iss begane insaan ki liye kyu.........kyu Sid ...... kyu khud ko itna dard de rahe ho Sid.......... main nahi dekh sakti tumhe aise.......... '

Juhi finished scheduling the tests and thought of cheking on Riddhima. She had seen Riddhima crumbling yet again but she could not decipher why did Riddhima reacted so timidly if Sid had threatened to sue them. Something was amiss somewhere which she could not place a finger on. She had to understand what but before that she had to inform Riddhima that Sid was indeed still adamant on his decision of shifting the patient to another hospital. She went searching for Riddhima to ultimately find her still in the lab where she had left her.

Juhi: Riddhima !!!
Riddhima quickly wiped her tears and turned to face Juhi. Anxiety surged Riddhima's mind. Was Sid fine? Was he calm? What happened?

Riddhima: Woh theek toh hai na?

Juhi: Huh??? Confused as to what Riddhima meant by that

Riddhima: Woh bahoot gusse mein tha........

Juhi: Abhi bhi hai ......... he wants to shift the patient out ............. I tried explaining him par .........

Riddhima: Kissi ki baat nahi sunega .........

Juhi: hmmmm he did listen to any of my explainations and I doubt he will listen to you.

Riddhima now wondered if Juhi had overheard any of the conversation or had Sid said something to her. But yes indeed he would not listen to her. Not after what had happened. 'Kyu ...... aisa kyu keh rahi hoo'

Juhi: I somehow feel that he thinks that you were responsible for the change in dosage that is why he does not want you near the patient............ isliye laga ki woh tumhari baat nahi sunega ............... but why did you not say anything to him ...........why did you not defend yourself Riddhima ............chup chap sab sun kyu liya ...........?

That question unsettled Riddhima even more. What was she going to tell Juhi? If she was to tell Juhi the truth what would she think of her? Somedays back she was the one who was enquiring about Sid and Juhi's growing proximities. ''Woh itna gusse mein tha ki saaf bata chal raha tha ki koi explainations kaam nahi karega ..............

Juhi: But how can he assume?

Riddhima: par galati toh hui hai ..........Dr Abhay ho ya main... aur kya farak padta hai ki kisne ki ..........uska gussa hona jayaz hai ......... ek insaan ki zindagi ka sawaal tha..........'

Juhi: Saach jaane bagair ....................... Disguting !!! ..........he just does not give the opposite person a chance ......... shayaad issi aadat ke wajay se woh aaj akela hai ......... samaajna hi nahi chahata kuch ......... aur phir saalo baad afsoos karega ki usne na samajne ki galati ki like he regrets not understanding his wife.............

Instinct never fails a person. The rule was no different in case of Riddhima. Riddhima was always conscious in Juhi's presence not to reveal anything about Sid and her relationship. But anything said against Sid always propelled Riddhima to start defending Sid's case. Today was no different.

Riddhima: Tumhe uske personal life ke baare mein comment karne ka koi haq nahi hai Juhi ........ Jaanti hi kitna ho tum usse............

Juhi: Actually .......... aur waise bhi bolte hai na jaise dikhta hai waise hota nahi hai...............  peetal pe sone ka paani chadhane se woh sona nahi ban jaata ......... I saw the way he was talking to you .........that is not the way to behave ...........

Riddhima: Enough Juhi!!! ............... bahot ho gaya ......... you don't have to worry as to how he was talking or behaving with me ............ yeh hum dono ke beech ki baat hai ............ tumhe beech mein padne ke koi zaroorat nahi hai ............

Juhi: What???

Riddhima: Tum sirf usne jaise bola hai waise karo ............ and he will be fine........

Juhi: Ok ............what about him shifting out the patient?

Riddhima: Woh tab tak kuch nahi karega jab tak patient is able to handle the shifting ............ tum sift usko help karna ........ woh abhi bhi bahoot gusse mein hoga .......please usse explainations mat deti baitna..........

Juhi: as you say .........
========================================================
Sid waited impatiently by the patient monitoring him personally. The nurse scared of Sid's stern look worked siliently. The 1 hour deadline was nearing completion. Sid looked at the watch and asked the nurse to send the reports to Juhi's office.
=========================================================
Riddhima behaviour continued to perturb Juhi. Riddhima's excessive hours in Sanjeevani due to loneliness. Was it actually only loneliness or something else that was bothering her? All these things seemed to be affecting Riddhima's confidence. This belief got stamped due to Riddhima's submissive behaviour to Sid's allegations and aggressive behaviour. Riddhima had correctly stated that she should not have made a personal statement but somehow it seemed that Riddhima herself was taking these comments very personally. Moreover Riddhima's instinctive defense for Sid seemed out of place. Juhi continued to reflect over the happeneing of the day as Riddhima and she walked towards her office.  Riddhima was desparate to see the test results. She knew if the test results are not favourable then it would add to Sid's agony which she did not want.
===============================================================
They picked up the reports and made way towards Juhi's office discussing about them.

Riddhima: Siddhant will not be happy after he takes a look at these reports

Juhi: They are pretty good .............. koi major issue nahi hai ......... aur this necessarily need not be the result of this incident ......... and if he still wants to throw his weight around about everything then no one can help him

Riddhima irritated with Juhi's constant negative remarks about Sid: Juhi !!!................baar baar kyu uske baar mein aisa keh rahi hoo .......... uski koyi galati nahi hai..............

Juhi: Haan ........ galati toh tumhari hai na ......... ki tum waha pe thi

Riddhima: Shayaad tum theek keh raha ho .............agar main waha nahi hoti toh aaj yeh sab nahi hota ............ ' hum baar baar wahi baat kyu kar rahe hai Juhi'

Juhi: Because it is bothering me ........... why are you behaving like this............?

Riddhima: Kyu ki ........ it really does not matter now ............ the damage is done .....ab kabhi kuch sahi nahi ho sakta hai Juhi ......tum samajti kyu nahi hoo ......... please mujhe iss baare mein baat nahi karni hai ........... please Juhi please please ...........Riddhima was once again on the verge of tears

Juhi: Riddhima kya hua hai .......... kyu tum Siddhant ko leke itna defensive kyu ho ...........

Riddhima: Juhi please .......... now almost in sobs ............

Juhi quickly opened the door to her office and made Riddhima sit down .......... ' Ok Riddhima jaise tum kaho ......... achaa chalo nahi baat karte hai iss par tum rona band karo please

Suddenly they heard a knock on the door. A wardboy walked in to inform that Sid was waiting to meet Juhi.

Juhi instructed the ward boy to send Sid in. But Riddhima knew why Sid had not walked in. She quickly got up wiped her tears 'Juhi main jaati hoon ............. mujhe thoda kaam hai ........'

Juhi: Tumhe koi kaam nahi hai ............sirf Siddhant bahar khada hai isliye tum jaa rahi hoo ............ holding firmly onto Riddhima's hand to stop her from going.

Riddhima: Juhi ......... kyu sab kuch itna muskhil kar rahi hoo ...............  chodo mujhe .........

Juhi: Nahi tumhe kahi jaane ki zaroorat nahi hai ..............

Riddhima: Juhi enough please tum ab uska patience try kar rahi hoo please mujhe jaane do please ... aur tum usse baat karlo ............

Sid had expected either Juhi or Riddhima to walk out so that he could have a word with Juhi about the reports. But nothing of the kind happened. Finally Sid's patience had run out. He walked in to see both Riddhima and Juhi arguing. 'Shayaad aap ko wardboy ne inform kiya tha ki main aap se milna chahata hoon .......... '

Juhi:  Aur shayaad maine ussi wardboy ko apko inform karne ko kaha tha ki aap andar aa sakte hai'

Sid was annoyed with Juhi's attitude but what annoyed him more was that Riddhima still stood there.

Maine ek ghante pehle aapse kuch reports mange the ............... aap ka farz banata hai ki mujhe update de ........ kya ab Sanjeevani mein apna farz kaise nibhate hai woh sikhaya nahi gaya........ ' said Sid looking at Riddhima with spiteful eyes.

Every encounter with Sid was just making her belief stronger. There was no turning back now. She had to live with this hatred for the rest of her life. Her heart cringed.

Juhi was not one of those people who would take an insult lying down Riddhima knew well that she had to do the damage control or Juhi true to her nature would be quick to declare war. 'Juhi ....... aap Dr Modi ko update dijiye ...... main aap se baad mein milti hoon........... sorry meri wajay se aap late ho gaye........ Sorry .....' and quickly walked out before Juhi could say anything.

Riddhima's behaviour infuriated Juhi even more. She was not going to let it go by this time. 'Aap ke reports Study kijiye ......... and yes ........ let me warn you they are not the best but that does not mean that they are because of the change in dosage incident. Mind you ..........' walked out behind leaving an astonished Sid.

Juhi ran behind Riddhima to catch up with her. 'Riddhima ......... tumhara dimaag kharab ho gaya hai Siddhant se aise kyu kaha ........... damn why are you taking this unnecessary blame on to yourself .... first the dosage incident and now this ............ kyu kar rahi ho yeh sab ......... you think this will make him sober ........ infact aur bhi gussa dila rahi ho usse ........

Riddhima stood there listening to Juhi's arguements. Riddhima accepted what Juhi's arguements were right in a way. But from past experience she knew that it would take a lot more effort to get Sid to cool down than just tell him the truth. After all it was not the dosage incident only for which he was angry. How could she explain to Juhi that what Sid said in Juhi's office had bigger and darker history attached to it than just the dosage incident 'Kya apne farz ko bhul paana itna assan hai'

Riddhima collected her thoughts and calmly replied to Juhi 'Tum sirf uske kaam pe concentrate karo ....... agar woh nahi chahata ki main waha raho so be it ....... he needs you at the moment ............ aur usse koi explainations dene ki zaroorat nahi hai .... ki galati kiski thi aur kiski nahi .......main waha tumhare office mein kya kar rahi thi ..........agar woh sochta hai ki meri galati thi toh i am fine with ............ hum doctor hai ........hamari pehli priority hamare patients hai .......... aur iss waqt uss patient ko uski ki zaroorat hai aur usse aap sab logo ki ........ aur mere liye yehi kaafi hai ki woh patient sahi salaamat iss hospital se theek ho ke jaye ........

Juhi: I really don't understand what this is going to achieve ................ saach chupane se kuch haasil nahi hota............

Riddhima: kabhi kabhi saach pata ne se bhi kuch haasil nahi hota.............. aur yaha pe bhi kuch haasil nahi hoga .............

Juhi: Riddhima ............theek hai ......... par yeh jo woh patient shift out karne ki koshish kar raha hai ...

Riddhima quickly cut her off .........  'Woh aise kuch nahi karega........ woh bahoot achaa insaan hai ... aur woh kabhi kuch galat nahi kar sakta hai ......... especially when it is his patients. Usse tumhari zaroorat hai ........ tum please jao aur uski help karo .........'
The look in Riddhima's eyes spoke more than her words. The sureness of her words made her want to believe that indeed Sid would not do anything untoward.
=========================================================================
Juhi returned back to her office to find Sid pondering on the reports.

Juhi: Dr Siddhant?

Sid: this is not good .........

Juhi: It's not so bad either..........

Sid: I know but this could be avoided.......... and the dosage incident could have aggravated it ..........

Juhi: But we don't know for sure....... as of now...........

Sid: We will need to monitor very closely .........

Juhi: We are ...........

Sid: Your shift is nearing an end right........ ?

Juhi: that is not the point of discussion

Sid: I asked cause then we can quickly just take some time on this case after which I will stay back to monitor personally.

Juhi: well I know my duties well

Sid: Right!!! .......... farz .......  sab kuch ek farz hai sirf ek responsibility .......kisike life ke unke feeling ki koi kadar nahi .............
Juhi: Dr Siddhant I don't know what your problem is but you don't know Sanjeevani and it's people and ethics so please do not comment ............. and I don't wish to talk further on it .......... if we can get on with the case that would be good ............. upcoming tests discuss kar le

Sid realised that he indeed had unknowingly hurt Juhi's sentiments which should not have. She was not responsible for any of the mess nor his life nor the patient. 'I didn't mean to hurt your feeling...........

But Juhi didn't seem interested. After seeing his behaviour towards Riddhima it was still in doubt whether her first impression about Sid was correct. 'Dr Siddhant can we discuss the case?'

Sid understood he had gone too far and his efforts to make amends would not help. But he was not one who would leave any stone unturned. He knew he had made a mistake and would do all to rectify it. They discussed the case and chalked out a plan of action. After which Sid and Juhi checked on the patient and briefed the team on the plan of action decided by them. The following test results were also not the best which aggravated Sid and Juhi's anxiety. As they worked on the case together Sid was forced to acknowledge the zest with which Juhi handled the case and how calmly she had handled his wayward behaviour that evening.

Sid: Your shift must be done by now ..........  actually you have done more than that ............ you don't worry I am here itself ............ I will monitor the patient ........ you go home and rest.

Juhi: Thank you for your concern but I know my responsibilities  ............I will be here for some more hours.............. you don't need to worry.

That evening all attempts of Sid were going waste to reconcile. Juhi was very upset with Sid for his behaviour with Riddhima. Riddhima was in a vunerable state after her encounter with Sid which bothered Juhi very much. Later in the evening Juhi went to check on Riddhima if she was still there in the hospital. When she found Riddhima lost in her thought still in her office it did not surprise Juhi.

Juhi: Mujhe maloom that um abhi bhi yahi hogi............ kya problem hai tumne tum ghar kyu nahi jaa rahi hoo you need rest............ since two nights you have not slept well.

Riddhima's mind was still so set on Sid's outburst and the patient wellbeing that Juhi's question did not register with her. 'Siddhant woh theek hai .............aur patient.......... how is he?

Juhi: Tum doosro ki chinta karna chod do .......... pehle khud ko dekho ............kya haal bana liya hai .. you look so tired and exhausted.............. I can understand your concern for the patient but why are you so bothered with Siddhant Hell with him.............
Riddhima screamed back at Juhi 'Juhi!!!! ............ how dare you say anything to Sid.......dhant.' The thought today also troubled her ' Sid's well being.

Juhi: Tumhari problem kya hai ........... woh tumhe aise treat kar raha hai aur tum............. I fail to understand you Riddhima ............... koi rista tumhara hai uske saath ............?

'koi rishta tumhara hai uske saath ' kaise batau kya rishta hai Sid ke saath......... mujhe bhi nahi maloom par phir bhi aaj bhi uska hona na hone se mujhe farak padta hai ......... uski khushi mere liye aaj bhi mayane rakti hai ....... uske dard se mujhe dard hota hai ........... nahi dekh sakti usse aise bechain........... itni bechaini mehsoos kar rahi hoon usse apne aap ko takleef dete huye.' Riddhima once again nervous as to how to answer Juhi's question started toying with the file on her table.

Juhi: Nahi na toh phir .............

Riddhima: Insaniyat ka rishta .......... The only excuse Riddhima could think of. 'Insaniyat ke naate aur kuch nahi ......... kabhi kisi ke baare mein bura kyu sochne ka ........hai na Juhi .......

Juhi: Tum bhagwaan bana chahati ho toh bano ......... mein nahi ban sakti ............ anyways tum ab ghar jao aur rest karo bahoot ho gaya tumhara yeh natak .............

Riddhima: Nahi main theek hoon ............

Juhi: Tum kitni theek ho woh dikh raha hai ...........aur tumne khana khaya .............

Riddhima realising that she had indeed not eaten again the whole day. If she was to tell Juhi this she would invite her wrath so nervously replied affirmatively.

Juhi was quick to catch the lie. 'Tum bol rahi ho toh maan leti hoon waise mujhe maloom hai saach kya hai .............

How well Juhi understood her never failed to amaze Riddhima. She smiled at the thought that the two people who really understood her well were there today Only that one was still upset with her. It pained her.

Riddhima: Actually .........
Juhi quickly cutting her in to stop Riddhima from giving her baseless reasons: Don't bother reasoning ......... You will come with me and eat something and then you are going home.

Just then Juhi's phone rang. It was Sid. 'Yeh kyu phone kar raha hai ............' She answered the call ' Yes Dr Siddhant'

Riddhima was surprised why Sid was called Juhi. Was all fine?

Juhi: Nahi maine abhi tak nahi khaya hai ............

Sid: Can we have dinner together maybe we can discuss the case once again? Trying to find an excuse to once again make amends. He just wanted to spend sometime with Juhi to make her feel good. Make her feel that indeed he was sorry for his behaviour.

Juhi: aap kha lijiye ......... mujhe todha kaam hai ......... main aap ko baad mein milti hoon ............. and disconnected the call.

Riddhima seemed happy. 'Tum itni khush kyu lag rahi hoo Riddhima ...........'

Riddhima: Nahi .......... nahi kuch nahi ..........soch rahi thi ............ aaj papa ke ghar jau ............ khane se yaad aya mumma ke haath ka bana khana bahoot dino mein nahi khaya ......... aur mumma bhi khush ho jayegi ki main unke saath kuch time spend karloo toh...........

Baseless reasoning she knew yet she said it. Everytime she attempted to give such reasoning very well knowing Juhi will catch it and once again got caught. 'Riddhima tum mere saath khana kha rahi hoo aur phir ghar jaogi ............. i am not listening to your bakwaas................ full and final .......no further discussion on this...........She grabbed Riddhima's hand pulling her to get up. 'Bag lelo you are leaving after eating dinner.'  She ordered.

Riddhima quietly obeyed. They walked to the cafeteria when they passed by Juhi's office. Riddhima saw Sid sitting there quietly brooding over a magazine. Instinctively the words popped out of Riddhima. 'Usne khana nahi khayega'

Huh......... what Riddhima .........  No understanding what Riddhima said

Riddhima flustered for a moment This was happening too often in front of Juhi that she was saying things that would give away the truth that she wanted to hide. 'I mean Siddhnat ne tumhe khane ke liye bulaya tha na ........... aur tum gayi nahi ............ dekho .........' indicating towards Sid 'abhi bhi yahi hai ......... usse akele khana khane ko acha nahi lagta un logo mein se lagta hai ..............  Turning to Juhi............ 'Ek baat kaho tum please uske saath jao ............. nahi toh woh khana nahi khayega aur wapis............. She quickly restrained herself. Sid was getting headaches if he stayed hungry but how could she tell Juhi that is the reason why she needs to accompany Sid for dinner

Juhi: wapis kya?

Riddhima: usse gussa nahi aa jaye ............ we should make him feel comfortable ......... tum meri chinta mat karo main mumma ke ghar pucca khana kha loongi ..........promise ............

Juhi: I don't trust you ..............

Riddhima: achaa chalo main khana khane ke baad tumhe call karti hoon .............. please tum Siddhant ko dinner ke liye le jao......... jao na please............ begging Juhi now.

Juhi: Theek hai .......... but you will call or else i will come home to make you eat .......remember that I can be very stubborn

Riddhima: Pucca promise ab tum jao .............. pushing her towards her office.

As Juhi walked into her office to ask Sid for dinner, Riddhima hid behind the wall to watch them. A smile played on her lips as Sid's face lit up.

Sid was happy to see Juhi accepting his dinner invite.

Sid: Thank you so much ........ chalo chalte hai ........... mujhe bahoot bhook lagi hai ........... aur tumhe bhi na ......... bahoot time se uss case pe kaam kar rahi hoo ........break bhi nahi liya .........

Juhi: hmm chalo .........still her stance was cold......

Sid: Before we go ...... i wanted to say something.......

Juhi: abhi kuch hai baaki kehne ko .........

Seeing Juhi's uncompromising stance Sid backed off. ' Nahi ........kuch nahi ............tumhari doosri case baad mein discuss kar lenge ...........pehle khana khaate hai .............'

Juhi was visibly irrirtated as to why Sid wanted to discuss other cases with her  She no more wanted to involve him into anything further.  'Woh baad mein dekhte hai ..............' she said to push away the topic and walked out of the room.

That evening Riddhima went to her own house but quietly ate her dinner as she had promised Juhi she would.

The next few days Juhi quietly worked on the case while Riddhima made best efforts to stay away from Sid

One evening when Sid returned to Juhi's office he found her still there working on another case. For the past few days he had seen a different Juhi a stern Juhi. Seeing Juhi still there he thought of taking this as another opportunity to make amends. He did not like this stern Juhi. For him Juhi was his Shilpa always jovial, happy go lucky someone who made everyone smile around her.

Sid entered the room nervously: Hi .......

Juhi looked up from her file to notice Sid standing nervously at the door.  'Yes Dr Siddhant how can I help you?

'How can I help you ........... hogaya Sid ........ yeh ab bhi gussa hai ........ab kya karu'

Sid: Woh main .......... soch raha tha.......... mujhe tumse kuch kehna tha........... He did not know how to approach the topic. He did not want to upset more but also wanted to bring the smile back to her face.

Juhi: Yes tell me ........


Sid: Haan ............ sheepishly standing there in front of Juhi ...........last few days were very stressful I was thinking ...........

Juhi: yes I am listening ...........

Sid He was never the person who could make up lengthy emotional speeches He was always a man of simple words So finally giving up he decided to attack the topic directly.

Sid: Actually you know what ...........i just wanted to say ........... I am sorry ...........main bahoot rude tha na ............. i got carried away ........... I am really really sorry .............main tumhe upset nahi karna chahata tha..........

Looking at Sid's innocent eyes Juhi's heart melted He genuinely meant it which touched her heart. 'Theek hai .........chalo ab aur drama mat karo ...........;

Sid: I am genuinely feeling bad and you think this is drama........ offended by Juhi's statement.

Juhi: Yes............very much firstly throw your weight around and then make a puppy face and say sorry ............ all drama to make my heart melt ....... enought .......... mission successful............  jao ab mujhe kaam karne do ...........

Sid was happy to see the smile playing on Juhi's face again. She sounded so relaxed that it seemed to soothe Sid 'Kaunsa case woh bed number 32 wala .....'

Juhi looking up surprised .......'Haan .......tumhe kaise maloom ........'

Sid: Mein woh file afternoon mein dekhi thi............. simple case hai .........itna kyu tension le rahi hoo.....

Juhi: Tension nahi le rahi sirf dekh rahi hoon............

Sid: Baad mein dekh sakti hoo na ........

Juhi: Haan

Sid: toh chalo ........... bahaar jaate hai todhi der ke liye ............ just have some coffee and relax............Please .............' Once again making a puppy face

Juhi: Theek hai chalo .......... main bhi waise bore ho gayi thi .......

They planned to go to a coffee shop near Sanjeevani .They took the elevator to go down to the ground floor. They were busy chatting when the elevator doors opened. When no one entered or exited they both turned to see Riddhima. She looked as if she had seen a ghost. Juhi could easily make out the tension in the air. Sid quickly looked away. Riddhima did not want to make Sid more uncomfortable

Juhi: andhar aao .......

Riddhima had to get out of there. She nervously toyed with her stetescope thinking of some reason to not enter the elevator. 'Main apna stetescope bhul gayi .........sorry aap log javo .........' sating this she quickly turned awayed and walked in the direction of the stairs.

Juhi found it very disturbing. She had noticed the stetescope in Riddhima's hand then why did she say she so. But soon it dawned upon her the reason behind Riddhima's behaviour 'Siddhant'

Juhi: Yeh aise kyu gayi ............. stetescope toh haath mein hi tha........ Purposefully commented to see Sid's reaction.

Sid just looked away. He did not want to talk about this.

Juhi: Strange na Siddhant............

Sid: hmmm 

Juhi: Tum kuch bol kyu nahi rahe ho ..........

Sid irritated with Juhi's persistence. 'I don't want to talk anything about that woman'

Juhi offended with the way Sid was referring to Riddhima jumped up in her defense. 'That woman has a name ...............Dr. Riddhima Gupta'



Part 59

'Dr.Riddhima Gupta!!! Gupta!!! How can she be a Gupta? Why is she still a Gupta? But why I am feeling so concerned about this? For her I was just a responsibility. Mere hone na hone se kabhi usse farak nahi pada uske liye toh sab kuch armaan tha ......... Shilpa!!! .......... usse bhi toh apna nahi mana kabhi woh toh uska apna khoon thi .......phir bhi ......... kyu soch raha hoon uske baare mein ....... mujhe usse koi lena dena nahi hai ......... woh aaj Riddhima Gupta or ya ...................damn I am not interested like she never was in us.'

Juhi noticed Sid's expression change rapidly from disbelief to concern to finally settle down on the same indifferent look she had seen whenever he had encountered Riddhima. What was he thinking? Why was he thinking so much?

She stood there trying to decipher the change of expression on Sid's face when the liftman curtly announced. 'Ground floor' Juhi snapped out of her thoughts and moved out But Sid still felt a little dazed. He was finding it difficult to digest the new information thrown in his face. 'Kya yeh sahi hai ... kyu woh abhi bhi Riddhima Gupta hai ya wapis armaan ne ............'

Whatever Sid was feeling at the moment did arouse Juhi's curiosity But what bothered her more was that she did not see any regret on Sid's face for his attitude towards Riddhima. He had once again was disrespectful towards Riddhima which annoyed Juhi.

Sid moved out of the elevator when his chain of thoughts broke 'Siddhant chalo...........'
Sid returned to brood over the facts while Juhi had started contemplating about their outing. They had barely taken a few steps towards the exit when Juhi suddenly halted in her tracks 'You know what forget it ........ I don't feel like going.'

Sid was quick to snap out of his thoughts when he heard Juhi's offended tone once again. He detested the sound of it. 'Kyu ..........kya hua .............please chalo na ........... '

Juhi: Siddhant let me be honest ......... I don't like the way you refer the way you behave with Riddhima

'Riddhima!!!! ........ why did she have to be here?' Sid closed his eyes took a deep breath and cleared his thoughts. 'Can we not talk about it?'
Juhi: Why refer to a person like this ...........

Sid: Look Juhi we almost lost a patient the other day ............

Juhi: Do you even know what exactly happened that day?

Sid: I know adequate and why are we again on this topic ............ we were going out to take a break why can't we just leave everything behind and just relax.

Juhi: Even I did't want to talk about it ........... but seriously I tell you what...... I don't feel like going ........ She turned to leave but Sid was quickly grabbed her hand and stopped her.

Sid: Please Juhi ........... chalo na ......... I am sorry ......... I didn't mean to hurt you

Juhi: Siddhant.......

Sid: Juhi ......... I am really sorry ........... please chalo na........

Juhi reluctantly agreed. Finally they went to the coffee shop near by and settled down. Juhi was unusually quiet which unsettled Sid. Noticing this change in Sid Juhi promptly started a conversation. She did not want to talk further on the issue that was bothering her. She did not intend to make Sid uncomfortable nor did she want to spoil her mood further arguing about it.

Slowly the tension was easing out but not completely. They spoke randomly about their things their plans to do over the weekend, work and generally about life. Though both were trying to keep their mind away from what had happened but could not. Time and again their mind would drift away. Juhi could not understand Sid offensive behaviour while Sid was still stuck on what Juhi had disclosed.

Finally the conversation got stirred toward the thing both were thinking about.

Juhi: Dr Gupta bhi ek bahoot ache neurosurgeon reh chuke hai ........ par aaj kaal surgery perform nahi karte......... agar woh hote toh shayaad hum nahi milte ...........

Sid: Maloom hai .........  
Sid desperately wanted to know more about Riddhima. 'Dr Riddhima Gupta unki beti hai na ?

Juhi: Haan ............kyu .......

Sid: Woh abhi bhi ........ yaane ......... is she not married?

Juhi found the question very wierd coming from Sid. Why was he so concerned? 'Kyu poocha rahe ho?
Sid nervously answered: Nahi aise hi ......... woh toh hamare age ki hai .......... and still carrying her maiden name so was just wondering.

He need to ensure that the truth about their past is not revealed to anyone.

Juhi: Why married women nowadays retain their maiden name and surname (last name)

Sid: So she has retained it kya? Curiosity getting better of him

Juhi: Yes .............. she has retained her maiden surname Gupta instead of changing it to mallik





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