Please read only if you have patience or only read certain sections as per events and last wrap up para and very honestly i would really like to know who all read the whole long post ..... I know it is very long and boring at points
Riddhima ' the protagonist, the ex-girl friend of Armaan, the wife of Siddhant (Sid)
I would not want to talk about her with this reference. Riddhima as an individual; I would not want to talk about her in these terms as this has been beautifully put by KWA.
I would like to talk about Riddhima ' The Lady. I will start from the time she started her second phase of her life ' basically from her re-entry in January.
This phase was indeed a new phase because she had changed. She was bitter, angry and prejudiced.
Such was her outlook that she did come to Mumbai on her father's request but did not wish to visit the hospital which was once her place of worship, which gave her much ' satisfaction, friends, love (Armaan), etc. All she could remember is the sad event which took place at that hospital.
Here is the beginning of this journey. I shall cover only main events which I feel portrayed or changed her characteristics very prominently and which link to the journey by which she is the way she is today.
Riddhima was in denial. That is to accept the event and it's repercussion and hence wanted to be there as it would bring back memories. Worst kind of approach because it does not let you progress, it just keeps you stuck in one spot. Yet she went due to mishap her father had.
Entry Airport scene
Since being prejudiced that men generally disregard and demean women (Armaan's rejection) hence she reacted the way she did. Irrational but form her point of view appropriate.
Locker Room / Hospital arguments ' There are so many in that month I shall not try to bifurcate
Sid trying to demonstrate what molestation is reaffirmed her thought about men in general and also in terms of Sid being a Villian.
Sid telling her that she is not worthy to become any man's desire
Hence she always wanted to put down Sid to an extend she used her authority of being a Senior Doctor to advantage. This brings in one more aspect ' her irrationality and insensitivity
BasketBall Match ' The first turning point
She drew similarity between Armaan and Sid. This made the biggest dent in her ego. She was once again rejected in a similar fashion. Point to be noted she did desire to be kissed before anyone thinks i am referring to that. It was thrown in her face she is worth nothing. No person would like to feel like that let alone told that. War was declared by her.
Loss of honour (not her state of mind though) but her beliefs were strengthened that Sid was indeed a villain and wanted him out under any circumstance. The war continued and in one point even Shashank had commented that Riddhima has become very insensitive to people / situations and mechanical in her approach towards her work.
Revealing of Armaan's truth - Restoration of faith in her relationship with Armaan and distrust in other relations especially Shashank
This also made her a little disoriented not knowing Armaan's whereabouts. Beginning of her vulnerability phase She was so disoriented that she could not understand the environments or events sanely. Thanks to Sid she was saved of life threatening situations.
Sid's helping hand and faith in her faith '
This was the second turning point because from here on she started trusting someone other than herself and Armaan.
She now started looking at Sid differently and hence at times helped him e.g. cross the barbed wire, trying to explain there might be danger to check for the bag.
Sid's injury ' Recognition of Sid goodness and Humaneness
After a long time this character showed humaneness towards Sid since she saw Sid's goodness when he returned her payal
Dressing Sid's wounds was only call of duty which she fulfilled nothing else.
Loss of Esteem
This bought her to square 1 with her beliefs about Sid. But more importantly she lost her self esteem Also she did not consider herself fit for Armaan. Here are her traditional values coming into play. She felt her purity was destroyed.
Arguments with Shashank
One could not expect her to be logically thinking but accusing her father etc. She was not concerned with anyone except Armaan who left her second time even after knowing she had come to see him.
No one else mattered.
Revelation of Hypothermia truth and other events till marriage
Reinstalling of faith in Sid and accepting Armaan had left her and her mistakes and destruction '
Gradually her faith in Sid increased and started considering as a good person whom she has indeed wronged.
But her vulnerable state continued due to Armaan's second rejection. She continued to hold herself in low esteem which was further broken by revelation of photo incident. Though Armaan left her she could not see herself with anybody else. Sid or anybody she would have still tried suicide because of her traditional values. One man woman she could love no one else walk along nobody except her first love. To the extent she did not want to be just friends with her to be husbands even after marriage ' no obligations or relations other than that.
She was again in denial phase hence cold towards any warmth shown by Sid and attempts to reconcile.
Sid's outburst on wedding day was the final blow. She started understanding/accepting destructive ways. Understand the anguish she has given to her parents and Sid. Here is where I feel Riddhima started getting reinvented in the true sense. She realised she is not alone there are others connected to her. She started recognising their presence also in her life. It was no more ONLY ARMAAN.
Post Marriage '
Mechanical behaviour, increased understanding of Sid's psychological state '
Marriage was no doubt a compromise. But like she said it was not a natak. She wanted to be every inch of a wife but in terms of fulfilling her duties of a married woman. But she had not accepted Sid. Post Basketball court argument. She wanted to give this relation a try but since her approach was mechanical and Sid's state of mind it did not work. She in these events understood what Sid was feeling ' rejection and hurt caused to him due to which he was losing his natural self ' the Humane Sid she had known.
Accepting Sid's goodness and becoming conscious towards her own feelings
Sid agreeing to the honeymoon, his taking care of her wounds forced Riddhima to accept that Sid was indeed a good human and meant no harm. Hence, she tried every conscious attempt to reconcile. She was now beginning to feel a sense of warmth for this person. She had accepted the truth that he is a nice human but NOT SID.
There was definitely shift in feelings but could not place a finger on it.
Sid seeing a girl for marriage, Riddhima's acceptance till Armaan's re-entry
Hope and growing esteem
There was a shift in feelings. I feel that Riddhima was slowly accepting Sid but not as a husband but as a companion who would walk the journey. Sid seeing a girl was fueling her fear of losing him and hence desperation to assure Sid that the marriage did matter. While assuring Sid she termed it as marriage. But for her now it was not marriage but a relationship which she wanted to build. She wanted this relationship to work. Sid's acceptance of her acceptance and telling her about his feelings made her feel wanted. She saw hope. She started to value herself as she knew she was being valued.
Her journey to Pune was to pave the road ahead she would take with Sid. But ......
I will take a break here. By the time Pune trip happened Riddhima had started valuing herself As a lady she felt wanted She was SATISFIED with her life. She had a sense of pride for the relationship she had with Sid because she was proud of Sid. But she is not in love with him. But feels she may fall in love with him. Her conversation with Naina.
She was indeed happy to see him but the realisation that she has someone by her side back home pulled her back from accepting Armaan. Here itself I feel she rejected Armaan first time.
Then followed a serious of events which confused her as to how to take things forward Mindless sub plots to fill episodes.
One of the most important scenes ' She says in her mind looking at Sid when he casually asks her if she has eaten but actually wanting to know if she had met Armaan. " Tumne poocha bhi nahi Shayad itna haq hi nahi samajha mujh par" By now Riddhima had accepted that Sid did have a right on her and had given it to him mentally though not verbally (not necessarily as a husband but someone she held in high regards) I think this speaks volumes.
Acceptance of Sid as a husband
In the entire tom foolery what I saw was she could not imagine anyone else as her husband except Sid and hence she accepted him in front of Armaan also that she is married. There was no going back from thereon I feel. But yes it was kept open by CV in case that angle did not work.
Revelation of Pune trip truth to Lonavla trip
Feeling of betrayal and rejection
I feel she was firm on her resolution that she want to move ahead with Sid as she saw a good companion in him. Hence she asks him Tum mere dost the na? She felt betrayed that he did not reveal the truth to her. For her honesty is very important.
Till now she was not sure of her feelings for Sid. All this ruckus did not leave her time to ponder I guess. She could not place her finger on it. She was married to him so she used to reiterate on that fact and also thrown it in everyone's face every now and then. Sorry I was getting tired of listening to that line of hers.
Divorce papers was the another blow till then she was fine. The safe haven that she was dream of having Sid by her side was being shattered by Sid himself. I say safe haven cause Sid always assured her that he would not force her for anything and would always be there.
The constant cycle rejection from Sid and her reassurance was took the toll on her. Hence she told I am not interested in Sid as for Armaan he is not even a factor to be considered whether to divorce or not.
I am sorry AR fans this is what Riddhima had said to Shashank in April 26th, 2010 episode No offense but I have not spoken much about her interactions with Armaan uptil now cause they seemed fillers to me. That kind of response was expected from Riddhima if her stand was such on all issues.
She further accepts in front of Shashank that Sid did priority in her life but she is hurt by his divorce decision.
Her conversation with Tamanna also echoes feeling of betrayal by Sid. Betrayal by not fulfilling his promises of standing by her.
During the Lonavla trip she has made a comment looking at Armaan after the fall in the pond 'Mein us dard se door hi rehna chahati hoon' After the constant rejections by Armaan and now Sid she is not interested in anyone like she told Shashank.
Here lot of confusions were cleared that Sid never wanted the divorce like her. She had not worked her relationship. That Sid did matter. The concern was soaring high pre accident so much so that she was not bothered of the ill words spoken. She was no more egoistic though in such situation anybody's and especially a lady's ego would have taken a severe beating. I say ego because she was not wrong but yet accused.
Sid's wellness was her concern and hence she did all to ensure it. After all the verbal lashing she values Sid. Also I did not see down and out Riddhima who was low on self esteem. I feel so cause she valued whatever was there between Sid and her.
Hence she talks so fondly of him with her father.
Armaan and her locker room conversation till pre Karva chauth
She feels torn between the two men but she no longer wants to resounds what her heart's call. Hence she leaves to be with Sid. I will not go into the nitty gritty of the conversation.
What I feel more important to explain here is Lonavla Showdown told Riddhima that Sid sent the divorce papers so that she could have the option but hoped she did not sign. He wanted her and that was enough for her to continue working on the relationship prior to the Pune trip
She feels for this relationship. Here again she terms it as marriage because she herself does not know how is the best way to explain it. And since she can place a finger on it she is unable to assure Sid about it and also give it her 100%.
I feel she was holding back a little because she is not sure how Sid will take it. Fear dampens efforts. Her fear that he will feel more hurt. Hence Armaan said remove all the fear from your mind and try harder.
Post Karva chauth to car rescue '
Riddhima was just looking for signs from Sid that he wanted her in his life. After such rude and demeaning behaviour no lady would want to be by that person but Riddhima did. Difficult to do only out of sense of duty.
Car rescue to Sid Confession '
Car rescue ' she made her first move by wrapping the shawl around him to tell him she also cares still dispite the diary fiasco. Back at her home when she allowed Sid to get a little intimate with her because she knew Sid wanted her and she also was ready to affirm that she understood his feelings. But yes she was shy hence both backed out.
They wanted to build on this relationship once again from the place where they left it before the Pune trip.
But I think she was still unsure whether Sid was just trying this relation or has accepted that she is his wife. Apprehensions are absolutely justified. First love going kaput which all felt was so true and forever.
Her journey truly as a wife started when Sid said he wanted her back home.
Birthday night ' Surrender of Riddhima Not physically but surrender of her love to Sid's love.
As for the recent events I have spoken about Riddhima in my previous post So will not here anyways it's too long.Her characterization and the character's actions / reactions has a lot of consistency Do I need to say more She has always said whom she wants.
But to wrap up '
The great question from Armaan to Riddhima 'Aisa Kaun hai jiske wajah se sab kuch khali khali sa lagta hai' By the time Pune trip happened there was no Armaan factor left in her life. Even after that it got nullified which she herself told Shashank.
Gradually she understood in life there are many people and things which play an important role as they are interconnected. So first when there was ONLY ARMAAN without whom she was lost. She will now not be lost even if both Armaan and Sid both leave because she has learned the importance of others also. Hence she said to Sid 'Tumne mujhe pyaar ka matlab samjhaya'. For her life is no more only being in love with lover or husband and not caring about anything else. No It is trying to walk to life's journey with one person and ensuring her other relations don't get affected.
Love teaches you to value yourself and others. Pre-honeymoon phase Riddhima did not value herself hence was mechanical, had low esteem, compromised, etc. Love does not let ego play it's games. It teaches trust and understanding. Due to the understanding it prevents irrational or destructive behaviour. It lets you move forward towards your happiness. She was ready to let go of Sid if he did not want her in his life even if it meant it hurting herself. This is her journey - She has changed and she accepts it wholeheartedly and is at peace with that change
And I missed writing this wonderful lines -
Love comes in tricky ways - Sometimes you think that you are in love not knowing you are just friends
Sometimes you stick so much to friendship that you don't realize that you are in love
These hold true so true for Riddhima because her feelings are so dense that she cannot decipher whether it is love or friendship or respect or liking for Siddhant Hence she keeps holding herself back She admitted in today's episode that she has been making an effort to hold herself away from Sid's proximity. And in yesterday's episode she did mention saath na ho kar bhi saath hai. But yet she is not able to place her finger on her relation.
Similarly she in the current state of mind cannot place Armaan in one bucket.
As for Armaan and Riddhima's much discussed promo and pre-cap. Even if she does get physical with him, her heart has not asserted the act. Hence, she says galti ho gayi. If the heart asserts an act it cannot be termed as galti. And as Yuvi says today dimaag and aur dil are different. Dil should accept then all is fine. Hence it will not taint Riddhima's character.
One thing I have to say before I complete is that the role of Riddhima is quite a dense one and I think the lady - Jennifer Winget who is enacting it has done a fabulous job The best that it could be done
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